The Zen Approach to Finding Love

Zen mind and dating is for women who are spiritually-minded and seeking lasting love. This approach to helps you see dating in a new light and open your heart and mind to opportunities to find “The One”.

zen mind and datingMindset Lessons from Nature

This is one of my favorite times of the year when the trees are covered with pink or white flowers. That’s one reason I wanted to marry in early May (my wedding anniversary is on May 5th).

That spring when I was dating to find love, I noticed something I had never seen before. When the bright green buds come out on maple trees, I had always thought they were simply new leaves. For some reason, that year I decided to investigate and look more closely. Turns out I was WRONG!

Those vivid green buds are flowers! Yes, flowers. Sprays of tiny lime-green blossoms cover the branches of maple trees, and for years I mistook them for new leaves.

These little flowers precede the flat seed pods that twirl like little helicopters in the wind. Honestly, I was astonished I never noticed this before.

So right now you’re probably thinking, “Really Ronnie, who cares?” OK, fair question but, please let me enlighten you.

How New Discoveries Impact Your Love Life

This minor discovery lead me to ask myself a life-changing question: “What will I discover this spring that I never noticed before about dating? How about you? Are you open to learning something new that will positively impact your experience and success?”

A previous student of Zen meditation, this felt a lot like what they refer to as “beginner’s mind”. With beginner’s mind, you approach every experience with a clean slate to make room for fresh insights and new experiences. You let go of expectations.

Does Your History Shade Each Man You Meet?

It’s only natural to have romantic history if you are dating over 40. The question is how much does your history affect your interactions with the new men you meet?

You still carry the hurt from the last guy who stood you up, broke up with you, or cheated on you. These disappointing and heartbreaking events can weigh you down when it comes to having an optimistic attitude about your chances to find love.

As a result, sometimes you feel suspicious of each new man based on how the last few behaved. You might actually expect all men will let you down.

While it’s wise to date with your eyes wide open, should you suspect each man of being like the one before? How would you feel if every man you dated JUDGED YOU by his last woman?

Zen Mind and Dating

Imagine if you will, meeting each new man with a clean dating slate. If you approach dating in Zen style, what novel opportunities become available to you? One thing is for sure, this will help you take the pressure off each new man you meet and any new methods to meet men.

Even better, when you start each date with a clean slate, you won’t drag as much baggage around with you. Everyone has history – no shame in that. Yet, it can be a limiting at times if you don’t put it down at some point.

Your heart can’t be open when you carry baggage. That’s the best of Zen mind and dating.

Clear Your Mind Before Engaging

Before you message someone on Match or Bumble, take a few deep breaths, clear your mind, and start fresh. Same thing goes for walking into a singles’ event. Let go of thoughts that hold you back or no longer serve you even if just for a short time.

Drop your expectations. Leave behind the baggage of disappointment and hurt behind, and release negative thoughts that bring you down.

Lighten up and remember you are a great catch. Feel good about yourself and your chances to find love. This is essential to how men will feel about you when they meet you.

So much of dating is about how you feel and present yourself! If you expect the “same old same old” nothing will ever change. How can it?

Shift to a More Positive Outlook

Instead, approach dating as if you are optimistic about finding love with the right man. He IS out there you know. This is a perfect way to apply Zen mind and dating.

Act like someone who is just new on the singles’ scene or still believes these methods will help you meet “The One”. This approach will absolutely INCREASE YOUR ENJOYMENT and improve your odds for connecting too. Positive, open-minded people are highly attractive and everyone is magnetically drawn to them!

Wipe the Slate Clean

Each new man deserves a real chance for you to get to know him. You never know. And, when you are open, you can be pleasantly surprised.

It’s springtime and love is in the air. The season is about rebirth and regeneration. Apply this to your dating activities and mindset and be open to MANifest your own true love.


If you want more ideas on spirituality and dating, listen to my free audio on 8 Ways to Raise Your Love Vibration


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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