Have you been wondering lately, “Will I ever find love again?” If you have, here are a few more questions to ponder that will help you understand your chances for romance.
Don’t Ask Will I Ever Find Love, Ask What Will I Do to Find Love?
As a dating coach for women, I firmly believe you control your romantic destiny. I do realize love requires participation of a man over which you have no control over. There is also no question that a bit of kismet or serendipity is involved. However, taking steps to get the odds in your favor will absolutely make a difference.
When I work with my dating coaching clients, we approach attracting love from two angles:
- The inner work of clearing limiting beliefs, healing old wounds, letting go and building confidence
- The outer work of looking your best, getting out there to meet men, and understanding how dating works today
I am often surprised when a woman comes to me complaining how she has “TRIED EVERYTHING!” That’s when I gently do a little digging to see what that really entails. What is her idea of everything?
MeetUp.com, Adult Ed and Your Own Interests
Having done everything could mean a woman has gone to MeetUp.com groups, tried adult education classes, and explored her own interests looking for men. These are good things to do, but usually attract more women than men. Taking classes and exploring your own interests are wonderful for enriching your life, but not for meeting single men. Even workshops at Home Depot tend to attract women. Women enjoy learning – men frequently like to figure things out on their own.
Matchmakers and Dating Services
Sometimes a woman has hired a matchmaker, but in the age of technology, most men turn to online dating and matchmakers. Especially the over 40 crowd, who don’t have nearly enough men in their data bases. Most dating services are a thing of the past for the same reason. But some metropolitan areas may still have these services, like “It’s Just Lunch” and “Lunch dates”.
Upscale Charity Events
Another favorite in big cities is the charity event hype for meeting single men with altruistic motives and enough cash to make a donation. Yes, you might meet wealthier or society men at a big museum benefit, but again, this is a hit or miss thing because you don’t really know if these men are single and looking.
What about Your Mindset?
Disdain for Men
Another area that strongly impacts your ability to find love is your mindset and attitude. You’d be amazed how often I discover that a woman I’m coaching doesn’t really like or respect men in general. Many women who have been hurt or disappointment by the men in their life have great disdain for the male gender in total. This will certainly prevent quality men from approaching you. Single men can spot a “man hater” a mile away and steer clear. The best thing you can do is heal your pain and find a way to realize all men are not the same.
Desperation for Love
On the other hand, do you feel desperate for love and companionship? This is another huge turn off and an attitude guys can spot at a distance as well. In this case, you need to make new friends, especially single women who are in the same boat. Many divorced women have no single girlfriends and continue to rely on their married friends for support and social life. This is a big mistake that limits your opportunities to meet men.
Actions Not Aligned with Desire
I’ve also encountered women who crave a loving relationship, but have only tried a few things to meet men. If the effort didn’t pan out, they don’t want to give it another shot because the activity was boring or unproductive. When love is your goal, you have to keep trying.
What it Takes to Find Love Today
If you want to meet men, you have to get online and try the dating apps. It also helps to go where men are and be open and friendly so you can meet them at sporting events, hiking and biking groups, boat shows etc. If you aren’t up for doing these things, you are not honestly doing EVERYTHING. Online dating and the apps hands down provide the most opportunities to meet single men.
And in truth, finding love requires a deep desire, a strong intention and unwavering follow through to keep going until you do find love. If you allow yourself to quit, think it’s too hard, give up after trying something once, you decrease the odds of finding love significantly.
Don’t Give Up!
Be bold and believe your efforts will pay off. Connecting with that feeling deep within that love is your absolute destiny kept me optimistic when I wondered if I would ever find love. I dated 30 men in 15 months to find the man I’ve been happily married to for 15 years which is why I know you can do it too. Find ways to stay positive and keep moving. Take short breaks if needed to refresh your mindset. Try new ways to meet men when you hear about them.
You can do it! If you need help, suggestions, clarity or motivation, why not give me a call, and let’s talk about how coaching might help you. Call me at 203-877-3777 for a free 15-minute conversation. Don’t wonder if you will ever find love again – do something about it by working on the inner and outer methods to attract love into your life.
Wishing you love,