Dating Over 40: Why Don’t I Click with Men on Match

Dear Ronnie,

I’ve been on for over a month now and I’m so sad to say that I’m just not clicking with any of the men. Do you think Match is really the best site? Could I be doing something wrong? I’ve only met one guy so far and am very surprised that out of the hundreds men’s profiles I’ve read, and the whole bunch I’ve emailed – nothing is happening. I’m 48, attractive, 5’6:, 136 lbs. long brown hair so what’s the story?

Mystified in Massachusetts

Dear Mysty,

There are so many reasons why you might be struggling, so I’ll list off a few and see if this helps.

1. It’s only been a month. while this is the time when you get the most views, it’s also a time when men of all kinds may respond to your profile. This is good from a volume perspective, but not always the best group of fellows to meet your requirements. 

2.  Do you email men that  seem right for you? It’s important to be friendly on line – which is not the same as pursuing men or asking them out. Nothing wrong with making the first contact, as long as you know, the men might not respond.

3. Are your emails short? Some people tend to wax on about themselves, but online, there’s no need. The guys can look up your profile if interested. So, just make a comment about his profile – no more than a couple of sentences and that’s it.

4. Don’t contact too many men at once. Try 3-5 then wait a week to see what happens. People are busy today and while it is true, someone who doesn’t respond quickly might not be interested, it’s also true that it might take time due to vacation, overwhelm, work, kids, etc. Give the process a chance rather than going full steam ahead and running through all the profiles before you’ve a chance to get skilled at the online dating game. 

5. Finding love is a process that takes time. How long? who can say? Sometimes its the first man who responds, other times it could take months. Everything I’ve learned about the Internet leads me to the same conclusion – give it at least one year before you quit. I think that’s sage advice so I’m giving it too.

6. Are you visualizing and firm in your belief that the right man for you exists? This is the most crucial piece of the puzzle, because this positive belief system will pull you through difficult times. Your faith that love is out there also acts as a magnetic draw, pulling in the right man. The Universe hears your desire and works to help you cross paths with the right man. Shore up your belief in love being possible for you and hold fast to that thought to harness the Law of Attraction and make it work for you.

Wishing you Love,


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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