Every year it’s the same thing. Santa, Santa, Santa! I know he’s a jolly fellow and delivers all the toys. But honestly, isn’t it time to give those adorable elves some attention too?
Elves are the backbone of North Pole operations. They work hard all year long, making gifts to fulfill everyone’s wishes (those who have been good). The elves get the job done and never let Santa or us down.
But, when holiday time comes around, all anyone can talk about is Santa! Why is that? To me, Santa is a lot like the top 5% of single men over 40. What?
Think about it. Santa is perfect. He’s tall, has a great personality, is very social, everyone loves him and wants him to visit. He’s a leader, confident and decisive, and he knows how to make anyone feel special with his charming ways and twinkle in his eye.
That sounds like the top 5% of men to me. Women seem to hold Jon Hamm from Mad Men or George Clooney as the standard, raising the bar so high that no man could jump it (unless he has a sleigh and 8 reindeer).
This is a travesty! There are some big problems with Santa, Jon and George. Focusing on Santa – he’s not real and he’s not available (actually similar for the two actors as well and the characters they portray). He’s geographically undesirable living at the North Pole, and he withdraws for nearly a year at a time.(Never mind Mrs. Claus.)
That’s why I am championing the elves and regular guys! I’m not saying you should date short men who wear green clothing. Regular guys (who are more like the elves than Santa) are relationship ready, know how to have fun and will appreciate a woman like you. They make great life partners.
But most women ignore these men. They say things like, “If he’s not really special and the top of the top, I can’t be bothered.” Now, you are within your rights to aim high and want the best. Just know there is a difference between movie star perfection, fantasy and real men. You may call this settling. I call it reality.
Yes, there are men out there like George and Jon. And my dating coaching advice to you is when you meet one, RUN! Because a charming man will not likely last. He may be exciting and make your toes curl, but he won’t stay for the long run. Most men from the top 5% have difficulty with commitment because …they know every woman is after them.
However, when you get real, and go for a hard-working “elfin” man, he’ll be a rare gem that you won’t believe you overlooked for years. He’s a man who will treat you well, stay true to you and share in your life. He’ll be supportive, communicative, and wonderful!
This year, it’s time to give the elves…ummmm, the regular guys a chance. They are the “good guys” and “quality men” you talk about, long for and crave. In 2012, open up your heart, mind and eyes to recognize a truly good man when you see one and opt for him, rather than the media ideal that will sweep you off your feet and dump you on your butt.
Three cheers for Santa’s elves and real men!
Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.
