Why Does He Text Me Out of the Blue and What Should I Do?

Tired of asking, “Why does he text me out of the blue?” Here’s what you need to know to better understand men and texting.

A lot of my clients who start opening their hearts and meeting men tell me the same story. As they take an active role in looking for love, the ex pops back into the picture! This has happened enough times to consider it an official “pattern.” In the middle of one of our first sessions with a client, she’ll ask me, “Why does he text me out of the blue?” These are the possible reasons I provide.

why does he text me out of the blueWhy Now When It’s Been So Long?

I’ve got several reasons why men contact you out of nowhere, whether it’s been weeks, months or years that have passed. I’ll start with the practical reasons and then we’ll move on to the more vibrational or energetic ones.

1) He Still Thinks About You. Yes, his out of the blue text does confirm he sometimes still thinks about you. But, let me say right upfront THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE WANTS TO SEE YOU AGAIN. He was having a sentimental moment, picked up his phone and reached out. This means NOTHING so don’t expect anything – it’s just a moment in time when he chose to connect.

2) He’s Lonely. He broke up with his current flame or is getting divorced and fond memories of you come flooding back. This makes him contact you, but again, doesn’t indicate his intention to try again. He just wants to talk to a good woman and you came to mind.

3) He’s Thinking about Sex. Men spend quite a lot of time fantasizing and thinking about the bedroom. If he had a good time with you, he might fantasize about you this way. You can see how reconnecting could enhance this for him but, have nothing to do with actually seeing you again right?

4) He Wants an Ego Boost. Your ex might be feeling down and he gets curious about which women from his past are still interested in him. So, he texts, calls or hits social media and bam, you respond! That feels really good to him and he needed that ego boost. It might have been totally fun for both of you. However, DO NOT READ INTO THIS. He simply needed you to feed his ego and I’m sure he’d say thanks if he thought about it from your perspective.

5) He’s Bored. Yup, boredom can motivate people to do strange things like reach out to an ex for no reason beyond entertainment and curiosity. He was bored and you were sucked in and unknowingly became his entertainment.

None of these reasons include intentions to see you again or rekindle your relationship. Your best bet is to accept this, let it go and move on. To linger is to drive yourself nuts, make yourself miserable and keep yourself off the market and single.

And Now, The Ethereal Reasons

6) Cosmic Signals. I love this. One of the biggest answers to your question, “Why does he text me out of the blue?” is that when you get back on the market looking for love – he can SENSE IT. That’s how powerful your desire for love is! When you get your heart’s desire for love, your intentions and your actions aligned, you are employing the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attractions states, “Like attracts like.” So, when you are in alignment, you send out cosmic and energetic signals to the Universe to attract love. And your ex, sometimes still in tune with you years later, picks up to message and responds!

Does that mean he’s your man because he responded to your vibrational signals? Nope. Should you check it out to see what happens? I don’t recommend it. Usually whatever ended the relationship is still there and will prevent a healthy, happy relationship at this time too.

If your ex contacts you and you are wondering, “Why did he text me out of the blue?” there is good news. It’s clear evidence that your cosmic signals ARE WORKING! Yay!! That means you are doing something right and on your way to finding love with the right man for you! (Not with your ex.)

7) Cosmic Messages. Last but not least, maybe you needed a nudge from the Universe. A little push to regenerate your own desire for love. Sometimes an ex texts, Facebooks, etc. to perk you up and make you remember that love is important to you after all. Even if your dating life has been dormant for too long, a contact from an ex can send you into action to find love.

That is a beautiful thing because you DESERVE LOVE. So get busy and make finding love a priority in your life – at least one of them.

Why Does He Text Me Out of the Blue?

I’m sure there are additional reasons I didn’t mention in this blog. For the most part, I’ve covered the majority of them so now you know WHY. Mostly, he was thinking about himself, even when he was thinking about you.

Men don’t think like women do. They don’t see the emotional ramifications like we do. Men don’t get how you would jump to the conclusion that he must want to see you again.  His text was likely caused by a momentary need and you fulfilled that quite nicely. He met his objective and was done! Even if this happens multiple times, it’s the same reasons driving him.

Of course, he left you in a complete tizzy, stuck in a circular thought pattern examining all the possible reasons he could have reached out like that. Just out of the blue. I hope this stops you from driving everyone you know crazy by asking for their opinions about why does he text you out of the blue.

If this happens to you again, either with the same ex, or another, keep this in mind…It means NOTHING. Enjoy it, then let it go. Maybe use it as motivation to take steps to find love. Put one foot in front of the other and you will get there. Where there’s a will, there’s always a way. Love is your destiny.

Want more advice about texting with men? Get your free copy of my book 7 Deadly Sins of Texting now!


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

3 thoughts on “Why Does He Text Me Out of the Blue and What Should I Do?”

  1. There’s also the very real possibility (which will apply to a LOT of good guys) that he likes you a heck of a lot and he’s just not known what to do, because so many women make this all much more difficult than it needs to be.

    So if he hasn’t contacted you for weeks, it doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t want to. It can acutely mean that you’re all he’s been thinking of and he’s just been damn scared and only now has he worked up the nerve.

    If you’re really into him, try letting him know. It isn’t only women who get freaked out by all this stuff and over analyse it. Mem have feelings too and we can find all this just as confusing as you

    • Hi Nice Gut – I’m not sure what might have happened in your life to cause you to lose confidence in yourself. I sincerely hope you will rebuild that for yourself. It’s clear that you do know what to do, so it’s time to step up. If a man is too scared to contact a woman he likes a lot, he’s probably not ready for a relationship. I encourage men to take a chance to get what they want – it’s the same for anything you want in life.

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