Valentine’s Day Over 40: Love is in the Air, and It’s All About You by Marla Martenson

Welcome to the first day of the 2nd Annual Valentine”s Week Blog-a-thon!  Seven dating experts and guest bloggers from around the US will share their wisdom this week to celebrate Cupid’s holiday.  Every day this week, I’ll post a new article by a different dating blogger with her own, unique take on love, dating and celebrating Valentine’s Day. Don’t miss a single “episode”! Subscribe to my blog  – or  stop by daily.

Marla Martenson - Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

The first guest blogger is my new friend, Marla Martenson, who is a matchmaker, dating coach and motivational speaker. She is the author of three books, her latest is a memoir, Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker and she also wrote, Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate is Waiting. You can find out more about Marla at or 


This Valentine’s Day, Love Is in the Air, and It’s All about You!

So many of us are searching for our soul mate, yet many of us don’t have a clear understanding of what a soul mate is. We all know the clichés about love at first sight and feeling that we know someone from a past life. Our perception of a soul mate is often based on movies, television, books and fairy tales. We love to imagine that magical feeling and experience of finding our soul mate.

The problem often arises because romantic love ultimately falls short of that ideal. And that can also be the problem with Valentine’s Day. Women across the country panic and feel “down” or bad about themselves because they don’t have a “sweetheart” to spend that overblown, commercialized holiday with. Well, here are some tips to get through and actually feel empowered and better!

Since there is no getting around all of the visuals, the flowers, heart shaped boxes of candy in store windows, special over priced dinner menus for lovers, the ads for teddy bears and pajamas on TV, you’d might as well join the party. You are going to celebrate YOU!

Start the day with a special workout, maybe a yoga class, a hike in the hills, or a special meditation. At noon, pick a busy restaurant with a nice bar and take yourself to lunch. Order whatever your heart desires and you will be washing it down with a glass of bubbly. Toast yourself and mentally sing your praises. You are special in so many ways. Isn’t it nice to celebrate you? You don’t need a man to tell you that you are amazing.

In the evening get together with some single girlfriends for a cozy supper and great conversation. But the ground rules are, no men bashing or whining about why you are all still single. Make this night about accomplishments, celebrating each other and appreciating the magic of friendship.

If none of your friends are available, then rent a movie that you’ve always wanted to see, get in your comfy PJ’s, pop some popcorn and settle in for a “date night” with yourself.

The whole message that I am trying to convey is that while you are waiting for your soul mate, be happy where you are. The universe will take care of it. You will meet him at the right time. He might be getting transferred at his job in six months and move to Atlanta. Once his divorce is final, he might run into you at the grocery store. We cannot force things in life. Timing is an absolute. The phrase “being in the right place at the right time” is so true.

There is a saying in the Tao, “Infinite patience brings immediate results.” This is true when we do our inner work. There is no reason to doubt because this is the law of the Universe. This is how energy works, plain and simple. If you can learn to let go and to trust, things come much easier than if you fight for it. Surrender control, and you free the Universe to bring you whatever you want.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

13 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day Over 40: Love is in the Air, and It’s All About You by Marla Martenson”

  1. I LOVE that you reminded women to celebrate themselves. Too often single women focus on the things they think they need to change about themselves instead of celebrating the fabulous ladies they already are.

  2. Marla-

    What a fabulous post.

    It’s been said that you can’t love anyone until you love yourself first, but it’s also true that nobody can love you unless you love yourself first.

    Thank you for putting it so well!

  3. Marla you have written a fantastic piece here on celebrating the love within. I agree with you that once a person is celebrating in the present moment, no matter where they find themselves, and radiate joy, then everything else falls into place. I feel blessed to have wonderful friends with whom I can hang with and enjoy the moment with. Letting friends know you appreciate them is a gift you give yourself!

  4. Well said Marla! Whenever I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day, I always go for the 2nd Best Choice – having dinner with one of my incredibly loving and cool best male friends! We become eachother’s Valentine! It’s great! For instance, I will go out and buy something nice for him and get a card and then we will go out to dinner that evening. I even hold hands with some of my best guy friends – that’s how much I love and appreciate them! This is a great way of celebrating yourself by loving yourself and surrounding yourself with people who love you and you love back!

    Happy Valentine’s Day!!

  5. Dear Ms. M.,

    Your point of view is so true….you need to be your own valued and cherished SOLE mate as well as open to finding your SOUL mate.

    Good series of practical advice…especially for us “oldies” who sometimes forget the foundations of good relationships with soulmates.


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