Dating After Divorce: Vacationing from Dating?

Sometimes you just need a break from dating. Maybe you recently exited a relationship. Or you just had too many bad dates in a row. It happens. Taking a break from the dating scene can really help refresh you, let go of some negative thinking and disengage from bad habits. This is a great strategy…as long as it’s just a temporary vacation.

If you have recently ended a relationship, then healing is a must before re-entering the dating game. Rebound relationships may help you get over your ex, but it’s not always the healthiest way to go about healing. And it can create casualties, regarding your dates, if you know what I mean. So a dating vacation is most definitely in order. Time to regroup, recharge your battery, regain your confidence, re-think what works for you.

How long does this take? Well it does differ from person to person. It depends on why your relationship ended. And your previous relationship baggage. And your family dynamics.  It’s so involved!  Let’s just say it depends on many variables and how you process things. If you were involved for a while it will probably take longer than if you’ve had a string of bad dates.

Clients often ask me, "How can I get ready faster?" Interesting question.

There are a number of steps you can take and methods to use to move through the healing process with intention. You can’t really skip any steps in your process. But you can change your focus – which changes your energy, which can move you forward a bit faster.

Here are a few tips that are incredibly powerful for letting go and moving on:

1. Pulling Strings.
This is a visualization in which you imagine there are strings attaching you and your ex. Notice where these strings are attached to your body and then one by one, you imagine gently pulling them free from where ever they are attached. After, spend time healing the spots to close up the connection. I have even heard of people who visualize burning those strings to make sure they don’t re-attach themselves later. This can be a very empowering exercise to free you from a connection that no longer serves you.

2. Prayer
While I’m not religious, I do believe in God or a God -force. To pray  for help in moving on is a strong method to focus your energy on what you DO WANT . Ask for the God of your choice to help guide you and free you from your connection to your ex, and help heal you to find love once again. You can also ask the angels to help. The power of prayer is undeniable, regardless of your religious beliefs. Countless double blind studies have proved time and time again that people who are ill and prayed for, even without knowing it, heal faster.

3. Chant
I’m big on chanting and make up new chants to focus my thoughts and energy on whatever my new goal is. To lose weight, heal a friendship that isn’t working, make a business connection or let go of a lover. it just works. Pick a tune you know – something simple like a child’s song (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has been used frequently!) and change the words to express your intention. I have a whole CD of chants – some to let go of love and others to attract love. Find out more here.

Then, once you have used one or all of these techniques, Don’t let yourself off the hook. If you are serious about finding love, you’ll need to end that dating vacation at some point and get back into gear. Looking for love is worth it. No one ever looks back after finding love and says, "What a waste of time that was!"  Find a way to restore your faith and get back out there to attract and find the love you want and deserve.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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