you need to be aware of red flags that let you know you are dating the wrong man. This is a continuation of my last post about how to understand men so click the link to read the first three red flags. Here are the next four.
4. You’re afraid to bring up concerns. This is a pretty big red flag. If you can’t talk to the man you are dating about things that are on your mind, that is not good sign for a healthy, long-term relationship. For a loving relationship to have true lasting power, you have to be not only willing to broach difficult subjects, but you can’t be AFRAID to do so. How can you have an open, honest relationship with a man you can’t talk to?
As your dating coach, I recommend rethinking the guy you are seeing if this describes your situation. I know its not easy to break up and look for another partner, but not being able to bring up your concerns because of how he’ll react or because he won’t engage in the conversation will lead you down the road to heartache and suffering. This is not something that gets better over time – it only gets worse. To understand men, you have to be able to talk to them.
5. You don’t share the same big picture values. Seeing eye-to-eye on how to conduct yourself is the foundation for getting along. Without a basic similarity in how you treat others and the code you live by, it is very difficult to understand men and get along. Long-term compatibility is based on sharing the same or very similar core values. Without this, your relationship will likely be troubled to say the least.
This relates to honesty, charity, money, friendships, work ethics and so much more. However, everything doesn’t have to be a perfect match to work. For example, I know several happy couples where one person is a democrat and the other is a republican. They don’t share the same political values, but as long as they don’t discuss this- they get along quite well!
However, when you don’t share the same ideas on integrity, honesty, and partnership, that can make things very difficult.
6. You’ve caught him in a lie. Once you catch your man in a lie, many women tend to become hyper-vigilant looking for other fibs. This erodes trust which is the beginning of the end for a healthy relationship. Anyone can make a mistake here or there, so one lie (depending on what it’s about) doesn’t have to doom your relationship.
To understand men, know that how you handle the situation matters. For example, if you choose to forgive the lie, do you start snooping looking for more lies, or do you let it go and try to move on? If your trust has been shattered enough that you become a detective on constant surveillance, you might want to rethink the relationship. You may also need help with shoring up your own insecurity or why you would accept a man you can’t trust.
7. You’re gut tells you there’s something not right. I am a big fan of intuition. If you have a hunch that something isn’t quite right – trust yourself! Women’s intuition is not a fable – it’s real. When you understand this about yourself, you can better understand men. There are signals you may pick up that run beneath the surface. It could be the he way he looks at you, a change in his habits, or his tone of voice. I’m not trying to create paranoia. But, if your gut tells you something is amiss, please pay attention.
That’s it – the seven red flags that tell you your man is not the right guy for you. There are probably others too. As your dating coach, I want you to find and enjoy a happy, healthy, lasting love-filled relationship. If these tell tale signs are part of your man, it might e time to reconsider.
CT Dating Coach – Photo Credit: DrwMrk