Dating Over 40: The Dating State of Mind

If you want to be in a relationship, the first step to your search is getting into a dating state of mind.  In my book MANifesting Mr. Right, I call this Adopting Dater’s Mind.  When you have dater’s mind, you think of yourself as someone who dates.  Sounds silly huh?  Not really.  If you don’t think of yourself this way, then you probably aren’t connected to your feminine allure either which makes dating much more of a struggle.

Now that’s a problem.

Without feeling attractive, knowing that you are worthy, that men will notice you and approach you, it’s pretty hard to jump the gap to actually getting out there and meeting prospects. I’m working with a woman right now who hasn’t been doing her coaching homework.  She claims she is too busy, but this is a smoke screen. 

How do I know? From talking with over 1,000 women you catch on.  Either she doesn’t really want to date, it’s not one of her biggest priorities, or in this case – she doesn’t see herself as someone who dates!


The solution? Get connected with your allure ASAP.  And here’s how:

1) Pampering – from getting a new hairstyle, new color, highlights, facial, new makeup, make over, manicure and pedicure – anything that beautifies will increase your self-esteem and make you feel more beautiful.  When you think you look good – YOU DO! 80% of your beauty is how you feel about yourself.  Keep that in mind.

2) Is your underwear drawer filled with old cotton comfy favorites? Go get some new lingerie please! It doesn’t have to be expensive.  If you don’t want to take a trip to Victoria’ s Secret, then try Marshalls or TJMaxx (two of my personal  favorites).  I’m not talking about thongs or being uncomfortable. Get some color, satin or lace and wear them to work!

3) What do you like about yourself?  Do you appreciate who you are? Pick out one feature and be thankful for it every day for 7 days.  Then pick something else to appreciate.  This builds your self-esteem and gets you in touch with what makes you attractive. And once again, feeling good about yourself shows – it becomes the non-verbal message you send out into the Universe.

4) Believe connecting with a good man is possible. If you doubt you can find one, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Chapter seven in my book gives you 7 powerful MANifesting techniques that I used and plenty of successful clients have also used to start believing and attracting him into your life. Believing is crucial for your success.

All four of these tips will heighten your allure and keep the idea of being someone who dates front and center in your awareness.  And that is just what you want.  Whatever you put your attention is usually what you get.  So start developing Dater’s Mind to attract the love you want. Do it for yourself today.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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