Dating Over 40: Text, IM, eMail – Don’t Men Talk on the Phone Anymore?

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about men connecting frequently – but not the old fashioned way of a phone call. Today men are more interested in IMing or text messages. What’s that about? Well, let’s consider what’s going on here…

What do the email, IM and texting as communication methods have in common?

1. Quick way to be in touch
2. Can be a distraction from other work or activity
3. Fun time  waster if stuck somewhere and bored
4. Can be done while doing other things
5. Has the naughty or sneaky factor – everyone thinks he’s working
6. Not much emotion conveyed (possibly)
7. No one can hear them since it’s not vocal
8. Not as likely to get into tough question areas
9.Can’t get into anything too deeply – nothing too heavy

What did I overlook or forget?

Let’s face it, a telephone conversation takes a lot more time and effort.

Much of the usage behind these communication methods depends on the age of the man. Guys under 30 grew up with lots of technology. Culturally, the younger the person, the more techno inclined. Kids today are texting each other while sitting at the same table. it’s just the in-hip thing to do.

I do know women who feel slighted though when the guy they are dating prefers technology to real conversation. We women love the connection, the tone of voice, the little whispers, the sound of his smile. None of this can be conveyed via more modern equipment. it’s just not he same. A cute or entertaining IM exchange can be fun, but doesn’t replace the warmth of his voice.

What should you do if you have a man who prefers these new fangled ways? Share your own preference. let him know that texting is fun and a great way to keep in touch, but it doesn’t replace a phone call for you. Let him use any method he wants to communicate, but remind him how you love the sound of his voice and want to have a real conversation too.

Or, you can stop responding to all his IM’s etc and he’ll eventually get the message that way too. Not everyone is comfortable with being direct, although that is my personal preference.

If the guy doesn’t come around to calling you even a little bit more, then you have collected important data about his willingness to please you which is good to know right?

Happy texting!


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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