Tag Archives: Soulmate Summit

Dating Over 40: Arielle Ford Adds Gratitude to Law of Attraction Work

I’m still thinking about some of the wonderful speakers I heard during the Soulmate Summit. One in particular stands out – Arielle Ford. She is the author of  The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.

The Soulmate Secret

For me, one of the most interesting things I learned was how many other women and dating coaches used the Law of Attraction (LOA), like I did, to when dating over 40 to find love.  But Arielle had a twist to the usual format that you hear.

Typically, with LOA, you get specific with what you want. I have my dating coaching clients think about the qualities they are looking for in a man such as intelligent, honest, affectionate, generous in spirit, athletic, healthy, etc. Then I ask women dating over 40 or dating after divorce about the quality of the relationship they desire. Is their relationship with the right man easy, fun, respectful, comfortable, spontaneous, loving, soulful, etc.?

Next, the process requires determining the end result which is how you want to FEEL. Because, it is the emotional end result that creates the vibration, working like a beacon to call in the one you want. You do this by matching the vibration of what you want so that “like attracts like”.  That is the very essence of how LOA works. Emotions are powerful energy generators and all energy has a pattern or in other words, a vibration!

So, to attract love, you must spend time FEELING what it will be like. But you have to FEEL it right now, today, as if its already happening. As if its REAL. This is exactly what I did and I can tell you that the process did work. 

Arielle added one more step. And this makes so much sense but I never did this part. Arielle has you imagine how grateful you are for finding the love you want. Express your gratitude to the Universe, God or powers that be in the moment you imagine being with the right man for you. You could say a simple “Thank you” or extend your statement to more fully express your gratefulness.

What is so smart about adding this step is that it further promotes your belief that what you are imagining IS TRUE. So true, that you are already grateful! How’s that for elevating your vibration? That will do it. It deepens the feeling and makes the emotions more real. Very savvy Arielle. And taken from many spiritual practices. The idea of expressing gratitude for all that you have is basic to most religions and spiritual practices.

When you choose to work with me as your dating coach and startpracticing the Law of Attraction to MANifest your mate, I highly recommend closing as Arielle does with a bit of gratitude. Whatever way you want to do this is fine. Let’s see if that speeds things up. But even if it doesn’t, you can never go wrong feeling grateful for all that you  have and all the good that is coming your way.

Soulmate Summit: How to Meet More Men Than Ever – Part 2

How to Meet More Men

This post is a continuation from yesterday inspired by the Soulmate Summit. Below, you’ll find four additional tips to help you meet more men than you ever dreamed possible.. As I tell my dating coaching clients who are dating over 40 and dating after divorce, who you are when you meet men is far more important than where to go.

Truth is, there isn’t a special place where all the good men hang out. So, it stands to reason that the more open you are to men in general, the better your chances of finding good ones!

Think about these tips to see which ones you can incorporate into your life. To meet more men than you ever dreamed possible, make yourself more available, friendly and approachable. Here’s how:

5. Learn to say “yes”.
Are you a woman who says “yes, sure, I’d love to”? Or are you a woman who complains, says “no”, or isn’t in the mood? Men like women who are pleasant and easy to be around. Men like women who make them feel good and use their feminine energy.

What can you do about it? I’m not saying you have to be Suzy Sunshine all the time. But, when you first meet someone, put your best foot forward.  Just like a job interview, you wouldn’t start out complaining about how awful your job search has been or how you hate your ex boss. Same thing goes for dating!

When you say “yes”, you give men a chance to get to know you. You’ll be happier and more positive, characteristics that are very attractive to EVERYONE. Say “Yes” to coffee, a concert, a sports game. Show him you are easy to get along with. Say “Yes” and make the most of your love life’s opportunities.

6. Appreciate that men appreciate you!
When a man looks at you, he is demonstrating that he finds you attractive. Women often don’t like the men who find them attractive and focus on how they are the wrong men. I used to feel this way and lots of my dating coaching clients do as well. But guess what? When you put up your hand to say “NO, not those men”, the Universe hears you saying “Not Men”.  Oh oh, that’s not a message you want to send out.

What can you do about it?  When you see men looking at you, first recognize they find you attractive! So, in your mind say a silent “Thank you”. You don’t have to date them, but take in the compliment to build your self-esteem before you go on your merry way.

7. Open up to men who aren’t just like you.
So many of my dating coaching clients describe the man they want as a carbon copy or mirror image of themselves! You often want a man who is just like you, who likes the same things, has the same interests, the same education, work, etc. But guess what? These similar men might not be a good fit. In fact, they probably aren’t a match because you are too similar.

Let’s say you are an aggressive woman looking for a super successful entrepreneur. Think what his life is like. He’s crazy busy, has a million things to do, works all the time and never stops. Gee, that doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.

Not only that, but he’s used to being IN CHARGE. That means he wants a woman who will just go with what he says. Is that you? Not if you are the same kind of person. You too want to be in  charge and that spells POWER STRUGGLE!

What can you do about this?  Consider other types of men. You might be better off with a man who isn’t like you – a man who is attracted to his opposite. That way, he can teach you about his world, and you can share your favorite things. Plus, you will likely have some overlap of interests, but hopefully you won’t be spending your time arguing over who’s in charge.

8. All men are not the same.
If you’ve been hurt, cheated on or disappointed, please keep this fact in mind – all men are not the same. Men really do exist who are a joy to know. However, if you insist that all men are the same,you won’t be open to meeting them. That means you won’t be able to find a good one and you’ll be living a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What can you do about this?  Find a way to open your eyes, heart and mind to new men. It’s the only way you can  discover which ones are good and which ones are not right for you. There’s only one way to weed them out – meet them and date them.

Photo credit: Sheffield Tiger

Soulmate Summit: How to Meet More Men Than You Ever Dreamed

How to Meet More Men

Yesterday I listened to the Soulmate Summit and an interview with dating coach Evan Marc Katz. I also heard his bonus audio for Soulmate Summit attendees. Excellent! Evan is awesome. And its so good to hear a man say these things that I’ve been spouting for years. I tell you great minds think alike and I was amazed at how many of the exact same things we talk about.

That inspired me to write this post which I shared last night with the women participating in the 90 Day Challenge – Meet 50 Men in 90 Days! Here’s what I shared with my dating coaching clients who are dating over 40 or dating after divorce:

How to Meet More Men Than You Ever Dreamed Possible

1. Notice your inner dialog.
You know, that non-stop, idle chatter running through your brain. Is it negative and full of judgments about the men you encounter? Do you hear yourself thinking things like – “Look at those shoes. I’d never date him. Does he even own an iron?” This is not harmless chatter – oh no. It’s silent bud deadly in  terms of keeping a positive attitude ansd building attraction to men.

Plus, if you are critical of them, you are probably also highly self-critical. And that’s not good for yourself-esteem.

What can you do? Start finding ways to notice the good stuff about the men you see, not just criticize them. think about what their good qualities might be. Consider the value men could bring to a relationship.

2. Appreciate men for who they are.
No matter how close to being equal we get to men, men will never be like your girlfriends. Just expecting them to be like your girlfriends will always leave you unsatisfied and maybe even angry. Men are men, not women or girlfriends. So they won’t be as caring, sensitive, or thoughtful. They probably don’t express their feelings very well or read your mind. 

What can you do? Get realistic to enjoy who men are. Men are masculine. They can help you feel desirable, attractive, wanted, supported, cherished, loved and adored. Get clear on the value men offer and appreciate them for this unique aspect which other women cannot provide in your life.

3. Get curious about men.
Who are they? What makes them tick? What’s his favorite pizza, baseball team, vacation spot? What is his passion in life, his favorite way to enjoy leisure time, and books he likes to read? You might say that too many men are just boring. But is it them or our total lack of curiosity?

What can you do about this? Get curious about a man. That is the best way to get to know him. In coaching school, one of the first things they teach us is how to get curious and how valuable this is for building relationships. Practice being curious and see what you discover.

4. Let go of your need for instant love and hot chemistry.
Evan made an excellent point on this topic. These spikes in your emotions when you feel the roller-coaster ride of emotion and you just know he’s got that certain something, are not the best indicators of long-term romance. If they were accurate, you’d still be with the guys you had hot chemistry with. Good point Evan! Way to go. Evan asked where are these guys now in your life?  

What can you do about this? Know that the sizzle is short-term and learn to allow feeling to build rather than be instantaneous. Attraction can and does grow! But its up to you to give it a chance. Give men a chance who fit into your grey areas of acceptance. So few men are 10’s and they come as a package deal with things that also don’t work for you. A man who is  a 10 also has his pick of the world so its harder to capture nad keep his attention. A better startegy is to go for an 7, 8 or 9 and start to see the benefits of chemistry that grows as you get to know each other.

Come back tomorrow when I’ll share four more ways to meet more men than you ever dreamed possible. When you expand the grey areas of who is acceptable, you have a chance to find a good match!

Photo credit: PinkMoose