Tag Archives: flirting with men

Flirt! 5 Lessons in Flirtation for Women Dating Over 40

As a single woman dating over 40, understanding how to flirt is not only smart, but also your best strategy for meeting the most men.

Flirt! 5 Lessons in Flirtation for Women Dating Over 40

Flirt! 5 Lessons in Flirtation for Women Dating Over 40

I’ve created an acronym that explains what it means to flirt and you can read all about it below. Once you start using this innate feminine skill, your dating karma will be transformed. I’m not sure why women resist when you were born with this ability, but my goal is to help as many women as possible turn on this man magnet so you can get the results you want – to find love with the right man for you!

“F”  stands for Femininity.
This is your God-given ability to appeal to men. It was coded into your DNA to ensure survival of the species and the ability to attract a mate. Nothing can remove this from your being because it is part of you at the deepest level.

Unfortunately for some women, this has been buried deeply and suppressed. It has been replaced by staunch independence to survive without a partner. Self-reliance has caused many women to build their more masculine side and build a successful career with financial independence.

Hey, as women today, we don’t NEED men any more. We can literally do everything without having a partner including having children. But, and this is big, if you want a man in your life, you need to be in touch with your feminine charm. Because men don’t want to compete in relationship – instead they seek their biological counterpart –  A FEMININE WOMAN.

“F” could also stand for fun because flirting is such a blast. It’s a playful, creative way to interact with men and get them to come to you by using your allure.

“L”  stands for Lovability.
Ultimately, that’s what you want right? To be loved. So first, you want to be lovable. You want to embody love and be the love you want so men see you as lovable. But, when you are angry at all men, spend good amounts of time man bashing with your gal pals, and have lost the ability to see that not all men are the same, you do not portray a “lovable” energy.

To be lovable, you need to exude warmth, a welcoming attitude and approach life and people with an open heart. That’s the only way to make a heart connection. I’m not talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve, letting your emotions run you or sharing your feelings prematurely.

When you are lovable, you are easy to be with, kind, sassy, pleasant, open, fun, warm, intelligent – many of the qualities you already are! Then you couple that with an optimistic outlook on men and love and there you are – more lovable than you can imagine.

Of course “L” could also stand for liberating your ladylike side rather than leading with your business skills and masculine energy.

“I” stands for being simply Irresistible.
A woman who knows how to flirt and relies on her feminine charm surely is irresistible to men. When you see a woman at an event or party who is surrounded by men, she is demonstrating this ability and you can see how men respond positively.

When I worked in the corporate world, I must admit I despised women who traded on their femininity for success. But decades later I see the power and potential and have a new found respect for the women who know how to succeed in business and still maintain their womanhood. Today, I not only applaud this, but encourage women to do this for success in love as well.
The “I” might also stand for an intelligent woman who indulges in a little flirtation because she knows she can and understands the power this aspect of her personality offers.

“R” stands for a woman who is Radiant.  
She takes good care of herself and understands the importance of self care for building self-esteem. When you take time for yourself, you feel renewed and then have more to give back to others. So everyone wins when you take care of #1 first and baby, that is YOU! 

Plus, it’s no surprise that men prefer a woman who looks like she takes care of herself. Your hair has style, your makeup is fresh, your clothes look great on you. Image is everything in business and in love, so be sure to portray the image you want. When you are too tired to do this or skip it for other priorities, it shows.

“R” could also stand for being resilient when the men you meet don’t follow through. This type of disappointment is part of dating and rejection cannot be avoided if you want to find love. So, to become resilient, you know that there are more good men where that one guy came from and that helps you not take each encounter so seriously.

“T”  stands for Tried and True dating strategy.
Flirting is a “tried and true” method for capturing a man’s attention. It works from afar with your body language telegraphing your availability and it works up close with conversation, tone of voice and touch that breaks the personal space barrier in a very specific way. Nothing else works quite like flirting when you are looking for love.

Of course “T” could also stand for “tantalize” since your goal is to capture a man’s attention. This is not a sleazy way of acting, but a artful way to generate the chemistry sought by both genders.

So that’s it – a new acronym for the word FLIRT! Femininity, lovability, irresistible, radiant and a tried and true method to meet men.

The good news about flirting is that it doesn’t require a certain body type, age or extreme beauty. It’s much more about allowing your INNER BEAUTY to shine through. Permit your feminine side to radiate your womanly allure so men will be drawn to you naturally. Come on, who doesn’t want that?

Want to learn more? Join me for Flirt School – a new teleclass starting Monday night, September 23.

He Flirts with Me, So Why Doesn’t He Ask Me Out?

Why doesn't he ask me out

Why doesn’t he ask me out

If you are wondering why, “He flirts with me but doesn’t ask me out?” read on to finally learn what that is really about.

Has this happened to you?

There’s a guy at work, church, or in your social circle. When you see him, he seems to light up. He seems very interested in what’s going on with you and catching up. He may flirt with his eyes, or verbally, or even touch you lightly. For some women, the man has actually taken things as far as kissing you once or twice.

Every time you see him, you experience the intense excitement of attraction. You feel prettier after talking with him. Your heart might be going pitter-patter. Its such a great feeling, exhilarating really. He must feel it too! How could you be the only one feeling this? There’s absolutely no way he doesn’t feel this same electricity. The same attraction. The same excitement.

But, and this is a huge but, you still don’t know –

Why Doesn’t He Ask Me Out?

Your relationship is stuck at flirting. And it drives you completely crazy. You simply cannot stop thinking about him.

Every time you run into him (which might be daily, once a week at church, or occasionally in your social circle), afterwards you spend days going over every detail of your interaction. What he said. His smile. The way he looked at you. How he lightly touched you on the arm or shoulder and the sensations that coursed through your body as a result.

Which leads you to wonder, “Why doesn’t ask me out?” This question creates a certain degree of frustration because you do not understand!  He’s ending mixed signals. How can this be? Why doesn’t he take it to the next obvious step?

I have had several dating coaching clients tell me about these interactions at church, the gym and at work. Other people have asked you about the situation, thinking you must be seeing each other. They’ve noticed how things are between you. How can they see it, but he doesn’t do one thing about it?

3 Reasons Why He’s Not Asking You Out:

1. Oh yeah, he’s attracted to you.  However, he is actually involved with someone else. And for whatever reason he doesn’t want to mention that because he enjoys flirting with you. It makes him feel good too. It’s really fun and good for his ego. Attraction isn’t enough when it comes to finding a compatible partner.

2. He isn’t ready or looking for a relationship. But flirting with you gives him his “feminine fix” and then he’s on his merry way. He definitely benefits from flirting with you. It makes him feel alive and wanted. He loves the attention you give him.  Yet, he has no intention of ever taking this one step further and he’s probably not emotionally available.

3. Something is keeping him from being active romantically. It could be financial trouble, health issues, emotional baggage, a horrible divorce, or any number of other concerns. It doesn’t really matter though because he’s not moving forward any time soon. A man who doesn’t have his life together has little room for love.

Why is this so confusing and agitating for you? Here’s the answer in a nutshell –

You mistake his flirtations and interactions as being in some sort of relationship.

A relationship with potential or promise. That’s a huge perception problem for you. The truth is, THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP! And sadly, 99.9% of the time, it never will be. This is a clear cut case of a man sending you mixed signals – he’s attracted and pays attention to you, but he’s unwilling to take things any further.

Does this mean flirting with this man is a waste of time? Not necessarily. There are some benefits as long as you are clear this is going no where. Flirting like this:

  • Builds your flirting and conversation skills
  • Improves your confidence and self-esteem
  • Makes you feel more attractive and desirable
  • Allows other men to see how great you are in action
  • Can be a great love life launching pad, if you allow yourself to not get lost in it

This is the biggest problem with Mr. Flirtypants:

He Is Not Mr. Right. If He Were Mr. Right, He’d Be Asking You Out.

He has some major flaw that keeps him from entering a relationship with you. Please don’t forget that essential piece of the puzzle to remind yourself he’s not the one. The right man would never leave you asking, “Why doesn’t he ask me out?” He’d ask you out and spend time with you!

If you find yourself in this situation, evaluate how long this has been going on and if there is any reason to believe, in reality, if he’ll ever ask you out. Remember, 99.9% of the time, nothing will ever happen and these are dead end situations that disappoint you and take you away from your mission – finding love.

PS – Get help with understanding men in my free book His Mixed Signals Are So ConfusingSave




7 Ways You Push Men Away Without Even Knowing It

Could Your Behaviors Unknowingly Keep Men Away?

7 Ways You Push Men Away

How come men approach some women and not others? Do you watch men swarm around one or two “special” women at an event and wonder what their secret is? They might be flirting and radiating feminine charm and confidence to attract men. But, what if they just aren’t doing things that push men away?

Read over this list of “Don’ts” to see if you might be doing any of these behaviors that turn men off and make you appear less attractive in the moment.

1. Don’t hang out with a group of women when you are going out to meet men.

Men are very unlikely to approach a big group of women. Even three women together can be intimidating. Men don’t like to be rejected or ridiculed, and the risk for ridicule is high when you are with other women. Think about it – men know you talk about them.

If you are going out for a night of mingling with men, and you insist on going with several girlfriends, then split up from time to time and walk around alone. This will give men a chance to approach you when you are unaccompanied by others.

2. Don’t hang out with a male friend when you are trying to meet men.

If it looks like you are with a man, other men will probably not bother approaching you. They don’t want to get into a territory war or confront another man. There are plenty of other women they can talk to, so there go your chances to meet men that night.

It might seem like hanging with your guy friend makes you look more attractive, but he’s actually getting in your way.  If you want to spend time with him, go ahead and enjoy it. Just know that your friendship with him is the agenda for that night versus trying to meet new guys.

3. Don’t look unavailable or deep into what you are doing.

Sometimes you want to concentrate on surfing the net or reading a book. Nothing wrong with that. But if you are spending time at Starbucks so you can potentially meet guys, look up frequently and scan the room so you appear more approachable. men don’t want to interrupt you and get a quick rejection because you  are too busy to talk with them.

4. If you are at a singles event, don’t sit down.

Once you sit down at a table, your chances of meeting men absolutely plummet. You are now out of the way and hard to get to. Once again, there are plenty of other women to approach. Don’t make gaining access to you difficult or a challenge. Stand in a high traffic area or near the dance floor so the men can pop by and chat you up.

5. Don’t go to the ladies room with a group of gals either.

Headed for the ladies room? Go alone sweetheart. That is a primo opportunity for a man to approach you and believe me, they know this. When you go with a girlfriend or a group, you have blown your chances of him even thinking about getting your attention.

Now I realize that going with the girls is a fun habit. You can whisper in the private women’s sanctuary about all the men you’ve been eyeing. So let me ask you this: Would you rather meet men or talk about them in the bathroom? Hey, you can talk about them on the way home! Don’t miss your opportunity to connect and make the most of the moment.

Here are two quick success stories about this tip:

I met  (and then dated) a really hot guy as I exited the ladies room at a singles dance one time. He was number 28 of the 30 guys I dated on the way to finding and marrying my husband.  I also have a client who met her boyfriend of three years the very same way.

6. Don’t wear a big cocktail ring on your left hand.

OK, maybe you think I’m being silly, but I just read about this. Some guys shy away from a woman with a ring, any ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. No kidding. Especially a big diamond ring. I know you love those diamonds, but when you go out to meet men, wear some other gems stone. And keep those rings off your wedding finger.

It’s not really such a big sacrifice is it? The things we do for fashion are great – but don’t sacrifice male attention too.

7. Don’t look away when you notice a man looking at you.

The purpose of flirting is to acknowledge a man and let him know non-verbally that you see him.  He is hoping for that acknowledgment so he can possibly walk over to strike up a conversation. But, if you look away at break-neck pace, you’ve just sent him the message that you are not open, approachable or interested.

I understand – sometimes you aren’t interested. I get it. But here’s what you need to think about. It’s not only that one guy who is probably taking a quick peak at you from time to time. Other men are watching too. And when they see you being unfriendly, looking down and avoiding eye contact, your desirability index drops like a hot potato.

You’ve got to push yourself to learn to flirt and the two most basic elements are maintaining eye contact for just 2-3 seconds along with a smile when you notice a man looking at you. That’s it! And you have nothing to worry about. There is no promise in flirting. it’s just a fun spontaneous, delightful way to interact with men and let them feel good.

When you smile at a man, you make his day. He’ll feel good and then you’ll feel good. Take a  shot at it, get good at it and make a man’s day so yours will be fun and memorable too.

Avoid These Mistakes to Improve Your Dating Results

If you can avoid these seven deadly mistakes that push men away, you will automatically up your stock and find more men taking the risk to meet you. I know these tips have been proven time and time again, because besides the ton of social research that’s been conducted, my clients share their success and failure stories as well.

The success stories make everyone happier, so follow these tips for your own dating success.

Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon

June 4th – Flirt School – Attract More Men with Honey

It’s Time for Flirt School!

What makes a woman irresistible?  She’s friendly, flirty and delightful! Is that how men see you?  Did you answer “No”? Then this workshop will shift that for good. If you are dating over 40 or dating after divorce, flirting is crucial to your romantic success.

Discover simple flirting techniques and sure-fire ways to heighten your feminine charm around men so you can be all that and more.  You’ll learn how to:

  • Let a man know you are safe to approach
  • Connect without saying a word
  • Send non-verbal signals that telegraph your availability
  • Improve your Desirability Index
  • Strike up a conversation with ease
  • Make a man feel special
  • Attract more men than ever!

This fun, interactive workshop with Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan will awaken the allure that is your birth right and provide a frank discussion about how to make the most of your efforts. Plus, you’ll learn key tips to help you avoid the biggest dating mistakes women make today.

Here’s what one very satisfied dating coaching client has to say about Ronnie’s flirting tips:

“Ronnie, I gotta tell you, this flirting thing is really working for me. I smile at men with my eyes and it captures their attention. Whether I’m on my bike or at a dance, the men approach me!  I can’t believe how simple and effective this has been. Thank you!”  –Margi from Denver

You know how they say you can attract more bees with honey? Well, now you’ll be able to attract more men with your sweet, flirty self.

The magic of flirting is outrageously powerful.  Amp up your feminine energy and learn to flirt with grace and style!  Make it a priority to become your flirty best this summer to find the love you want and deserve.

Saturday, June 4th from 9am – noon
(you’ll feel more flirty by lunch time!)
Workshop is in Shelton, CT –  location provided after registration
Fee: $37
The program includes a copy of Ronnie’s new ebook:
What’s He Thinking? What You Need to Know
about How Midlife Single Men Think

Over 40 Dating: Boost Your Appeal with Flirting to Attract More Men

smiling-womanThis is a great story. A couple of weeks ago I did a presentation to a group of woman on Your Feminine Charm – How to Tap  into Your Power as a Woman. Honestly, as a dating coach, this is one of my favorite talks. I had already covered what is feminine charm, why you need it,  and some of how to have more feminine charm. The last phase of this discussion is flirting!

As I explained and demonstrated basic flirting techniques, one woman asked if she could interrupt with a story. Nancy said she had the perfect illustration of how powerful my recommendations are and how well they work. “OK” I said to Nancy, “Give it a whirl.”

Here’s Nancy’s Story
She was meeting a guy at a restaurant/bar whom she had only met briefly once before . To be honest, she simply couldn’t quite remember what the fellow looked like. As the time they were supposed to meet drew near, Nancy decided the best thing to do, given the uncertainty of recognizing her date, was to smile at every man walking her way, who seemed like he might be the guy.

In reality, this meant Nancy was smiling at quite  a few men. She sees a guy walking towards her and would smile as a greeting, just in case. Now, it’s important to know that prior to this moment, Nancy was not in the habit of smiling at random men. Especially men she didn’t know in a bar!

That’s why Nancy was so surprised by the results. It seems her date was late, which meant she had that much more time to smile at guys. By the time her date arrived, Nancy literally had a swarm of men encircling her. She was smiling and laughing and exacted by all the attention. And her date must have wondered how he landed time with such a popular and magnetic woman.

Nancy finished up the story by sharing how this was the most amazing, fun thing that happened to her during the entire time she was single. No doubt huh? I’d remember a flirting adventure like that for years too!

The Morale of the Story
This is what I share with all my dating coaching clients. Smile at men! Flirt because you can. Leverage these inborn, attraction skills. It’s your birthright. Your feminine charm is yours down to the cellular level of your DNA.  Enjoy the power of being a woman. It’s something men can’t do! And it’s a way of being around men that will zoom your appeal by light years.

Don’t hestitate to try out simple flirting techniques like smiling and holding a man’s gaze briefly – just 2-3 seconds. Acknowledge a man who you see looking at you and make him feel good because you noticed. It’s really simple courtesy but works like a charm – feminine charm.

That’s exactly what attracts a man to you. It’s not your sheer beauty or your independence, or all the money you’ve made or the high power job you’ve landed, or the sales award you won. It’s more like animal attraction because attraction is a biological function and 93% non-verbal. So don’t worry about what to say or  waste it and wonder where the men are. Work it baby, work it!

Never underestimate the power of your feminine charm. It’s the number one thing you’ve got going for you. Today, smile at a man and you’ll make his day – and most likely yours too.

photo credit:     ndbutter  

Over 40 Dating: Men Are Swarming


It must be the flowers blooming because for some reason in the last 10 days, men have been drawn to me like bees to honey. (Or is that bees to pollen and flies to honey?)

This is not the usual state-of-affairs for me, nor has it ever been. Even at my flirtiest best, I got my share of attention. But not like this.

In the last 10 days, three men have tried to pick me up. I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve got to tell you – it feels good. When I started on my path to find my husband, it finally occurredto me that when a man looks at me and whistles or starts talking to me, he finds me attractive. Recognizing this as flattery gave me a whole new take on my interactions with men.

For 9 years now, I’ve been a happily married woman  (May 5th was our anniversary) and while I still flirt (simply because I can and it’s fun) I don’t have my “love light” turned on. And I’m certainly not looking for any “action.”

What is  creating all this attention?
Let’s examine what might be the cause of this surge in magnetism or my “honey-like” qualities.

First, I am relatively friendly. I’m not too serious or intense. When someone looks at me I do tend to look back and smile. This does make me more approachable.

Second, I never go out without my makeup and do my best to look decent. The one time I said the heck with it and ran out to the store in sweat pants, with dirty hair and no makeup – sure enough I saw three people I knew. I was totally embarrassed! I can’t stand that feeling of knowing I look like crap.  I just don’t go out that way any more.

Third, I appreciate when a man appreciates me. And when they look at me or talk to me, that makes me feel good! So I enjoy most interactions, even though I do not lead them on.

Fourth, since I’m not looking for anything, I appear more confident.  It’s all in being friendly, nothing more.  A lack of agenda in itself can appear as confidence and increase attraction.

But, I’ve gotta tell you – I still think its something in the air. I honestly believe that spring time is making men more open, friendly and urging them on to meet women.  women like me – and women like YOU!

What can you accomplish if you put your mind to it?  Here’s another way to look at it. If this married woman and dating coach, who is just shy of 5 feet tall and several months past 50 can get hit on three times in 10 days – what can you accomplish?

Yes, this is a challenge I am putting out to you. Start smiling more. Put on some lipstick. Wear something pretty. Feel good about yourself. And be friendly! This could be the best spring-summer season of your life if you play your cards right. Now really, wouldn’t that be fun?

What would it be like to call your best friend and tell her about all the male attention you’ve been getting? Instead of  complaining about drivers on the freeway, or your boss being a jerk, or your kids driving you crazy, you could be giggling about the possibilities with the men you are meeting. Which conversation sounds more exciting?

Meeting men is actually one of the easiest and most natural things you can do once you simply decide that’s what you want. Do you want to meet men? Do you want to find love?  Take a chance! Have some fun! Unleash your allure and enjoy the power of being a woman.

Trust me. I can’t be the only woman in the USA, in New England, in Connecticut, in New Haven county who is experiencing this level of buzzing males. There’s some guy out there waiting to admire and approach you too.

What have you got to lose? Go for it!                                   photo credit


Spice Up Your Feminine Charm to Meet More Men!

Spring is in the air and the desire for love usually intensifies. According to a recent article in the New York Times, the dating business is up! Both online dating sites and matchmakers report a spike in activity and lots of new members since December. What will you do to take advantage of this great opportunity?

Let me ask you three important questions:

– Do you feel desirable?
– Do men notice you?
– Do you ever flirt or know how?

Over 90% of attraction is non-verbal and based on how you feel about yourself. Learn how to avoid 5 things that drive men away. Then discover 7 simple ways that are guaranteed to increase your feminine charm and attract more men than ever!

Find out how easy it is to start flirting and leverage this natural part of who you are. And, learn why flirting is so crucial for your dating success.

Join me for this fun, eye-opening and empowering workshop to jump start spring romance.

Fee: $35
Includes my book MANifesting Mr. Right or any audio program of your choosing.

Register online until 9pm or call me at 203-877-3777 by 6pm.

Don’t miss out on this live workshop with Connecticut’s Best Known Dating Coach

Saturday, April 18th 9am – Noon
Shelton, CT –
Location information supplied with completed registration

Over 40 Dating: Love Blooms from Brief Subway Flirting

One of my dating coaching clients sent this fun article about a NYC romance from the NY Times. Quirky as it may be, these two found each other as a result of the brides willingness to flirt with a total stranger. She took a chance, walked up to this man and asked him about what he was reading while on the subway.

Find out what she did when her stop came and she got off when you read the article and how they managed to fall in love.  This is exactly the kind of move I encourage in my workshop “The 100 Day Challenge.” While so many women feel timid about talking to strangers, that is exactly what can get you noticed.

Breaking the ice isn’t about the perfect line. You don’t need the wittiest comment. All that is required is a willingness to take a shot, push past your comfort zone and SAY SOMETHING!

If you wait until you have more confidence, you will never get started. spring is in the air. Get out there and start the ball rolling for a romantic spring filled with “men possiblitiies.”  Start by simply smiling at men with a little eye contact. Then force yuorlsef to say “hi.”

Next push yourself to strike up conversations. You will become more comfortable with just a little practice. Especially when you realize that 99% of men openly welcome your flirtatios approach.

This is not pursit! Oh no! YOu are not asking a man out for a date. This is leveraging your feminine charm and allure for all its worth – which is plenty!

After a brief conversation, don’t linger. If he doesn’t ask for your number, you can offer it if you feel compelled. Otherwise, just accept this as part of your training and let it go as a fun exchange which can build your confidence and strengthen your belief. The right man is out there and YOU WILL FIND HIM.

And best of all, if you continue to cross paths with men, flirt and talk to them,  appear to be a fun  person who is easy to be with, you WILL ATTRACT MORE MEN so HE CAN FIND YOU!

Read the article about this quirky love story. It will demonstrate that no matter how odd or  run-of-the-mill you are, if you want to find love and believe it is possible, take the steps to get out there and flirt – you can find it!

I found love over 40 and I know without question that you can too!

Over 40 Dating: Flirting Lessons with Madeleine Albright!

Last night I watched Real Time with Bill Maher.  One of his special guests was Madeleine Albright,past Secretary of State during the Clinton Administration.  Maher asked Madeleine a variety of questions. Then he veered off into an area that surprised me. Bill suggested that it’s easier for women to be Secretary of State because women know how to talk to men. And women can flirt! Bill asked Madeleine straight out if she flirted with the male heads of state that she had to deal with.

Her answer? A resounding “Yes!” Madeleine not only admited that she flirted with top officials from other countries, but she also sang and danced. How very entertaining. And how savvy to use her feminine charm.

When strategy is important, using everything in your back of tricks is the best move. Albright had to help these men feel comfortable and she did that through diplomacy, politics and her feminine wiles.

So, for you women out there who feel it is beneath you to flirt, take a lesson from Madeleine Albright. Regardless of the men involved, they are still men. Your feminine charm does not belittle you or make you appear weak. It shows you are proud to be a woman, know who you are and your strengths, and still can play with the big boys.

This weekend, why not look up and smile at a few men? They’ll feel special, and you’ll feel good in return. It’s a win/win proposition, so get out there and  bat those eyelashes will ya?