Tag Archives: flirting tips

How Are You Supposed To Flirt With A Man Without Turning Him Away

How are you supposed to flirt with a man? Is there a certain way to flirt that will draw him in vs. make him run away? What do you need to know about flirting to make it work for you? Read on for simple flirting tips that really WORK and are a lot of fun too!

how are you supposed to flirtWhy Do You Want To Flirt?

The ability to flirt is coded into your DNA. Why? For survival of the species. The original purpose of flirting was to attract a mate and bring more humans into the world. All animals do some sort of dance or preening to attract the opposite sex.  It’s completely natural and an innate skill built right into you from birth.

Today, flirting has a different purpose. Even if you want a family, first you want love. Being in relationship in the 21st century is now a choice. Men and women no longer NEED each other to survive, but we WANT companionship and support. We want romance and partnership in life.

Flirting is a method for getting male attention and making yourself approachable, so you can meet more men to find “The One” for you.

How to Flirt with a Man

Are you concerned that your flirting might backfire? That can’t happen if you understand the true underlying purpose of flirting. But first let me explain what flirting really is.

According to the Google dictionary, to flirt is to “behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.” While I was surprised to see this, it’s the perfect definition although I was surprised to see it on the web. It’s perfect because flirting is NOT serious.

The main reason to flirt is to engage with men in a fun, playful and spontaneous way. You are letting men know you are available and approachable. Your flirting might not even be verbal. (Related post Talking with Strangers). A lot of fabulous flirting is completely NONVERBAL.

Flirting Body Language

How are you supposed to flirt using body language? When male attention is your goal, this is the easiest part. It might not work to get a certain man’s interest but, you will get noticed by men.

Whether or not you are consciously aware of what you are doing, you are wired to send and receive body language messages. It’s an innate skill that everyone has. Just like you can tell when someone is super happy or there has been a big argument, just by looking at them. You KNOW because of your human ability to read body language.

That’s EXACTLY why flirting works so well! Here is a list of things that you may feel silly doing, but do not doubt for one minute the effect these little moves have on getting men to notice you.

1.Smile and Connect – When you catch a man eyeing you, SMILE back and briefly hold his gaze for just 2-3 seconds that’s it. Any longer and he’ll think you ARE serious so don’t go there. This is about light interactions, not seduction.

2. Touch Your Neck – Your neck is an erogenous zone, so when you put your fingers or hand on your neck, most men around you will notice. This is great in a room with plenty of people if you are networking or in a restaurant bar.

3. Play with Hair or Jewelry – Fiddling with your earrings or necklace is a great flirty move and let’s men know you are available. It’s a simple little move but it sends the right signals. Same thing is true for playing with your hair – whether you twist a little piece that hangs down or toss it and let it settle out naturally, men will get this message.

4.  Look Over Your Shoulder – If you look back at a man over your shoulder and up through your lashes, this is considered super flirty. Spot a man looking at you? Smile back before looking away, then turn back a few minute later to look again. Boom! That’s a signal of interest!

When Flirting Turns Men Off

Let me be really clear. There are a few things you DON’T want to do if you’re still wondering how are you supposed to flirt with a man. This is how flirting goes wrong and actually turns a man off. You want to be aware to make sure you don’t take things too far.

1.Staring Is Rude – Eye contact should not last longer than 2-3 seconds. If you aren’t sure what I mean, think about it the old-fashioned way – count to yourself, “One, one thousand, two one thousand.” This is how people used to measure time because saying the numbers this way takes about two seconds.

Even if you want to be a bit more seductive and actually look a man up and down the way men look at you, this is QUICK! Do NOT linger because you end up looking like you are STARING which is creepy and aggressive. Men will look away for good.

I’ve had clients tell me they looked at men and smiled and it didn’t work. I can’t promise this will work on any particular man – but will help you get the attention of men around you who find you attractive. But, it won’t make a man want you. Either he does or he doesn’t. Holding his eye contact longer will backfire.

2. Licking Your Lips – Some experts talk about licking your lips so, they are wet and get his attention. That’s also the purpose of lip gloss! However, the act of licking your lips too frequently could make you look like a drug addict so stick with more demure methods.

3. Too Many Flirty Moves – Sometimes a woman trying these flirting tips thinks they aren’t working, so she’ll do them all one after another. Unfortunately, this is a place where more is NOT better and you could end up looking like a hussy! That’s hot for a man looking for sex but, a HUGE turn off for a quality man seeking a woman for lasting love.

How Are You Supposed to Flirt?

Well, now you know a few easy flirting tricks that are sure to get you some male attention. And you also know how to avoid several flirting mistakes that turn men off.

Think of yourself being demur or coy – these are great words to put you in a flirty mindset. Flirting heightens your feminine energy which also increases a man’s masculine response. Exactly what you want to achieve when you’re out there looking for love.

When you rely on your feminine charms, you attract men to you. Draw them in with your allure. This is the opposite of man hunting when you seek them out and aggressively go after them.

You’ll discover it’s nearly impossible to capture the attention of quality masculine man with any aggressive moves. He may go along for the ride and be willing to sleep with you. He might be open to a casual relationship.

What a Quality Man Seeks in a Woman

On the other hand, a quality man seeks a woman who knows how to BE a woman and let him be the MAN. She lets the man lead, knowing her power is one of allure and warmth. She never tries to use her business skills to GET a man because she understands that is not of interest to a successful, decisive, masculine man.

So, how are you supposed to flirt with a man? With grace, ease and style. Relying on confidence and a playful attitude. Holding the knowledge that your allure is your feminine power to bring men to you. You’ve got this babe.

If you still want to learn more about flirting, check out Flirt School – it’s got all the fun, flirty lessons a single woman can want!

Dating Over 40: Why You Attract the Wrong Men & How to Turn that Around

meet men, flirting tips, flirt, dating coachAre you dating over 40 and struggling to meet decent men?  Here’s a solution for single women in midlife that is proven to help. And any woman, regardless of age or romantic history can use this super simple method.

Smart single women know that the easiest way to appeal to men is to use your feminine charm. This is how you hit the radar of more quality men when you are out in public. Flirting is your strongest method for connecting with masculine men.

If you are tired of attracting all the wrong men or seem to meet mostly players or losers, then I’m talking to you!

Dating Over 40: Why You Attract Players and Other Men Who Seem All Wrong

This happens to so many midlife women. Most women think this is some strange mystery o f the Universe. Or that they have a “broken picker”. They don’t trust themselves to choose men because they choose all the wrong ones. Or the only men who pay attention to you are the ones you DON’T want.

Usually, there is a simple answer for this negative attractive pattern. Chances are strong you aren’t telegraphing your availability non-verbally. You are likely sending out the wrong signals which are off-putting to men without even realizing you are doing this.

However, YOU CAN CHANGE THIS. That’s the reason for and purpose of FLIRTING!

If you desire a man who is:

  • Confident
  • Masculine
  • Successful
  • Decisive
  • Together
  • Relationship ready

Then flirting is sure to help!

Players and Oblivious men Who Are All Wrong

See, the problem is, when you are not relying on your feminine energy, you don’t appear open to most quality men. So the men who approach, the first string guys, are the types who don’t read your signals. They are oblivious men who just approach woman after woman until one says yes.

Or they men who approach you are slick players, who seek women that don’t see m open because they know exactly what to say to make you fall hard for their well-practiced lines.

How to Attract Quality Men When Dating Over 40

But the woman who uses her feminine charm makes it easier for the next string of men to approach. These are the quality guys who are seeking the right woman for a relationship that can become long-term and committed.

The problem is, these men, unlike those first string guys who are all wrong, are more gun shy. They don’t like rejection and let’s face it, some women are really mean. That’s why they tend to hang back to see how you interact with other men. They watch to see if you send out signals of being warm, friendly and easy to appraoch so they can feel pretty sure you’ll be open to them when they come over to talk to you.

Flirt School – Get More of the Right Men to Approach to You

Flirt School has been my most popular program over the eleven years I’ve been a dating coach. But until now, I’ve only run this program live and in person. Several of my clients have been after me to deliver this material virtually by teleclass so those who don’t live in New England can take advantage of this proven method.

Stack the Deck in Your Favor When Dating Over 40

Flirt School starts tonight. Don’t think about it too long. Just register now. Seriously what do you have to lose?

  • Meeting more men?
  • Meeting better men?
  • Changing your dating karma?

This is your last chance this fall. No other dating coach that I know is offering this material right now. Yes, there are other programs, but not like Flirt School. Arm yourself with the feminine charm and skills that will help you attract more men than you ever thought possible so you can find the right one for you.

 Register now and start tonight!

Flirt! 5 Lessons in Flirtation for Women Dating Over 40

As a single woman dating over 40, understanding how to flirt is not only smart, but also your best strategy for meeting the most men.

Flirt! 5 Lessons in Flirtation for Women Dating Over 40

Flirt! 5 Lessons in Flirtation for Women Dating Over 40

I’ve created an acronym that explains what it means to flirt and you can read all about it below. Once you start using this innate feminine skill, your dating karma will be transformed. I’m not sure why women resist when you were born with this ability, but my goal is to help as many women as possible turn on this man magnet so you can get the results you want – to find love with the right man for you!

“F”  stands for Femininity.
This is your God-given ability to appeal to men. It was coded into your DNA to ensure survival of the species and the ability to attract a mate. Nothing can remove this from your being because it is part of you at the deepest level.

Unfortunately for some women, this has been buried deeply and suppressed. It has been replaced by staunch independence to survive without a partner. Self-reliance has caused many women to build their more masculine side and build a successful career with financial independence.

Hey, as women today, we don’t NEED men any more. We can literally do everything without having a partner including having children. But, and this is big, if you want a man in your life, you need to be in touch with your feminine charm. Because men don’t want to compete in relationship – instead they seek their biological counterpart –  A FEMININE WOMAN.

“F” could also stand for fun because flirting is such a blast. It’s a playful, creative way to interact with men and get them to come to you by using your allure.

“L”  stands for Lovability.
Ultimately, that’s what you want right? To be loved. So first, you want to be lovable. You want to embody love and be the love you want so men see you as lovable. But, when you are angry at all men, spend good amounts of time man bashing with your gal pals, and have lost the ability to see that not all men are the same, you do not portray a “lovable” energy.

To be lovable, you need to exude warmth, a welcoming attitude and approach life and people with an open heart. That’s the only way to make a heart connection. I’m not talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve, letting your emotions run you or sharing your feelings prematurely.

When you are lovable, you are easy to be with, kind, sassy, pleasant, open, fun, warm, intelligent – many of the qualities you already are! Then you couple that with an optimistic outlook on men and love and there you are – more lovable than you can imagine.

Of course “L” could also stand for liberating your ladylike side rather than leading with your business skills and masculine energy.

“I” stands for being simply Irresistible.
A woman who knows how to flirt and relies on her feminine charm surely is irresistible to men. When you see a woman at an event or party who is surrounded by men, she is demonstrating this ability and you can see how men respond positively.

When I worked in the corporate world, I must admit I despised women who traded on their femininity for success. But decades later I see the power and potential and have a new found respect for the women who know how to succeed in business and still maintain their womanhood. Today, I not only applaud this, but encourage women to do this for success in love as well.
The “I” might also stand for an intelligent woman who indulges in a little flirtation because she knows she can and understands the power this aspect of her personality offers.

“R” stands for a woman who is Radiant.  
She takes good care of herself and understands the importance of self care for building self-esteem. When you take time for yourself, you feel renewed and then have more to give back to others. So everyone wins when you take care of #1 first and baby, that is YOU! 

Plus, it’s no surprise that men prefer a woman who looks like she takes care of herself. Your hair has style, your makeup is fresh, your clothes look great on you. Image is everything in business and in love, so be sure to portray the image you want. When you are too tired to do this or skip it for other priorities, it shows.

“R” could also stand for being resilient when the men you meet don’t follow through. This type of disappointment is part of dating and rejection cannot be avoided if you want to find love. So, to become resilient, you know that there are more good men where that one guy came from and that helps you not take each encounter so seriously.

“T”  stands for Tried and True dating strategy.
Flirting is a “tried and true” method for capturing a man’s attention. It works from afar with your body language telegraphing your availability and it works up close with conversation, tone of voice and touch that breaks the personal space barrier in a very specific way. Nothing else works quite like flirting when you are looking for love.

Of course “T” could also stand for “tantalize” since your goal is to capture a man’s attention. This is not a sleazy way of acting, but a artful way to generate the chemistry sought by both genders.

So that’s it – a new acronym for the word FLIRT! Femininity, lovability, irresistible, radiant and a tried and true method to meet men.

The good news about flirting is that it doesn’t require a certain body type, age or extreme beauty. It’s much more about allowing your INNER BEAUTY to shine through. Permit your feminine side to radiate your womanly allure so men will be drawn to you naturally. Come on, who doesn’t want that?

Want to learn more? Join me for Flirt School – a new teleclass starting Monday night, September 23.

How to Meet Men: 3 Simple Ways to Capture His Attention

meet men, find love, dating coach, date online, dating coach for women over 40

3 Simple Tips to Meet Men!

Women ask me all the time – How can I meet men? Whether single or dating after divorce, they groan and seem anxious and tell me they don’t know how to even get started! I’ve been right there with you, in those shoes of a single woman not knowing where to find a decent man. Then I decided to  figure it all out and I did!

As a dating coach with 11 years experience, I can tell you that my suggestions are proven and well researched – both by me personally, and by reading what countless other experts have to say. I compile this information to share it with you because my deepest wish is that you find love just like I did.

3 Simple Ways to Meet Men

Before I go into the list, did you know that only 10% of the adult single male population actually knows how to approach a woman? That might surprise you, it’s true. Just think of all the millions of dollars the Pick Up Artist community rakes in trying to help men meet women. So if you are waiting for the men to do all the work, you could be waiting a very long time.

Now I’m not talking about being aggressive or asking men out. Not at all. I don’t believe in that because I know it doesn’t work. I get countless letters every week from women who have tried it, had things not work out and want to know what to do next. Sadly, I tell them to move on to find a man who will pursue them.

OK, here they are – the 3 simple tips to meet men – a lot more of them!

1. Smile Pretty. I know I’ve said this hundreds of times, but you can count on me to repeat this again. Why? Because it’s the single strongest option in your attraction tool kit. When you smile, you look pretty, you look friendly and your desirability index soars!

Yet, most women just don’t do this. Yup they do not smile and instead turn away if they notice a man who is looking at them. Sound familiar? I bet it does. Try smiling first before you turn that pretty face around to meet men.

2. Flirt! Flirting can happen on several levels at the same time. I’m not talking about aggressive flirting when you are all over a guy. What I’m suggesting is using your feminine charm and body language to let men know you are open to talking to them. You are available and want to meet men. And you can do that without saying a single word!

Body language includes smiling and 2-3 seconds of eye contact – not much more! Playing with your hair, smoothing your clothes, sipping your drink with a straw, playing with your jewelry, wearing clothing with an open neckline that shows off your collar bones, crossing your legs, then uncrossing them. These unspoken signals tell a man you won’t bite his head off if he gets up the nerve to approach you, even if he’s not smooth like George Clooney. But give the guy credit for taking the chance!

3. Verbal Flirting. Don’t worry – this isn’t some super skill you have to develop. You simply have to practice striking up a conversation. Don’t start with the most handsome guy you ever saw. Start with regular men who don’t intimate you and by the way, you might discover some of those regular guys are pretty wonderful once you get to know them.

What do you say? Try things like:

-What brings you here tonight?
-How do you know the hostess (at a friends’ party)
-I love this song, don’t you?
-What a great band  – do you like them?
-Did you taste that? It looks good.
-Is that beer good? I’ve never tried it

As you can see, this is not rocket science as they say. Ice breakers are the simplest lines. And here’s the biggest secret about starting a conversation with a man, most men will be THRILLED that you did this because now they don’t have to be the one to start.

Just stay for five minutes or less, then move on. If he wants to talk to you again, he’ll come find you.

So that’s it – the top 3 best ever tips to meet men. You might think these things can’t possibly work, BUT THEY DO. They work like a charm – your feminine charm! Turn it up and your attraction power explodes to meet men like you never dreamed possible. Women who do this are happily shocked to find out how unbelievably easy this is and how well it works.


5 Flirting Tips for the 4th of July!

dating after divorce, meet men, flirtting tips, dating coach

Dating After Divorce: 5 Flirting Tips to Meet Men

These flirting tips make it easy to meet men on any holiday!

It’s the fourth of July and the picnics and barbecues abound! This is such a fun holiday and the perfect time of year to meet men! Not sure how to talk to that cute guy at the party? Let me help with some simple flirting tips that will make connecting easy.

1. Wear a conversation piece. You might get a pair of wacky sunglasses or a funky hat. Wear red, white and blue to look patriotic. Paint your nails like the flag or with stars. Put a temporary streak of red, white and blue in your hair. These ideas may be a little out there, but they make it easy for a man to approach you and start a conversation. Bingo! You will meet more men!

2. Hand out sparklers. Don’t know how to strike up a conversation? Here’s an easy suggestion. If you go to a park to see fireworks, hand out sparklers while waiting for them to start. Walk up to any handsome guy and say, “Would you like a sparkler?” This breaks the ice quickly and gives him a shot at continuing the conversation. One of my best flirting tips for the 4th of July!

3. Help the hostess. If you are at a party, offer to help the hostess. If you carry around the tray of hors d’ouevres, you can offer the cute guys a bite to eat and easily start a conversation. Plus, this is a great way to meet a lot of the people at the party. Ask those you meet how they know the hostess to get the conversation rolling.

4. Check out local events. This is a time for lots of outdoor events. Check local calendars to see what is happening in your area, grab a gal pal and go! You’ll find fireworks displays, outdoor concerts, craft fairs, car shows and plenty of options to meet new people. The more social you are, the more men you can meet.

5. Smile, look happy, be friendly. This is one of my tried and true flirting tips that works every time, no matter what. When you smile and appear happy, men find you more attractive and easier to approach. That’s exactly what you want. Plenty of women will be cold, shut off, unaware of men around, not looking up or interacting with people. So when you do this, you stand out! My clietns are often astonished at how incredibly well this works.

Use these five super easy flirting tips and let me know how your Fourth of July holiday goes, from a “meeting men” perspective. who knows, you might get lucky!


Photo Credit: chrisirmo


Flirting Tips: It’s So Easy to Strike up a Flirty Conversation

Flirting Tips to Appeal to His Masculine Ego

The Best Verbal Flirting Tips

Today, I’ll reveal my secrets for flirty conversation. This is so simple any woman can pull it off with success the first time you try it. Yesterday I shared my body language flirting tips and you can read that here if you like.

Verbal Flirting Is Not Rocket Science

Just be brave enough to ask him a question or give him a compliment. Most men are totally grateful you broke the ice. Don’t know what to ask or say? Try anything from this list:

  • What a beautiful day don’t you think?
  • Isn’t this a great song? (at a bar or party)
  • How do you know the hostess? (party)
  • I never tried that beer – is it good? (at a bar, networking or party)
  • Your dog is so adorable. What its name? (park)
  • What are you getting? I’m having trouble deciding today (Starbucks)
  • That tie (or shirt) brings out the color of your eyes
  • Can you help me reach this? (grocery store or Home Depot – I’m short!)
  • Can you tell me which one I should buy? (this works great at Home Depot)

These flirting tips are so easy you could start right now. See, no advanced degree required. Flirty conversation is so easy to get started. Most men will be very receptive and so what about the few who aren’t – that is their loss!

Flirting Challenge

I had a dating coaching client who gave herself this exciting challenge to build confidence about her flirting skills. She dressed up in a feminine way that made her feel very attractive. Don’t go overboard now but give yourself permission to look fabulous. Then she’d be off to Home Depot or any hardware or home improvement type of store. Peggy would walk around different departments asking for advice and flirting with men who were shopping or those who worked there.

What Did Peggy Learn about Flirting?

Peggy happily discovered how easy it was to flirt with these men. They wanted to help her. She quickly learned the damsel in distress routine still has power and great appeal to the masculine ego.

The Reason These Flirting Tips Work

When you flirt with men, and especially when you ask for their help, you bring out the masculine energy in a man. Today, most women approach men with their own masculine energy. So when they encounter a woman who hasn’t gone all wildly independent and is still willing to defer to a man’s knowledge and strength, bingo! You just hit a hot spot for men today in a good way. Because so few women will validate his masculine ego.

Remember, flirting is just the next step after being friendly and uses your feminine charm. No risk, no promise, just great fun and prospecting! Start flirting right now and see how your love life turns around.


Photo Credit: CelebMuscle

Flirting Tips: How to Attract More Men with Flirty Body Language


Flirting Tips Any Woman Can Use with Instant Success

Do You Wonder What Is Flirting?

According to Mama Gena (from the School of Womanly Arts in NYC) flirting is a fun, playful spontaneous way to interact with men and have your way with them. I know its fun and very effective. Even though I am married, I still flirt because its terribly fun, lightens the spirit and doesn’t actually mean anything.

You see flirting does not automatically imply something sexual. Flirting holds no promise of something more or deeper. Its simply a way to capture a man’s attention or create a fun communication exchange.

First let me share a little flirting story from this past weekend and then I’ll share very simple flirting tips that any woman can use right away.

My Flirty Story

Saturday I had a booth at the CT Women’s Expo. I had to bring my own table, chair, table cloth, banner and stand, books audio cds, etc. It was a lot to carry as you can imagine. As I was unloading my stuff in the parking lot I wondered how I was going to manage to carry everything inside to my booth. As I took a breath to think about this, I looked around me. That’s when I noticed the two men three cars over who had a cart with wheels.

I didn’t spend several long minutes trying to come up with the right words to approach these men. I simply blurted out the very first thing that came to mind. “Wow, I wish I was your best friend.” Then I smiled at them. These gentlemen in their mid 50’s didn’t catch on at first and one asked me, “Why?” I was honest, “Because you have a cart with wheels.” They responded with a good laugh. Then they graciously offered to bring my table and chair to my booth for me.

What a relief! Thank you!

We had a few more exchanges as we entered the building and rolled to my spot in the arena. Flirting saved me! I honestly don’t know how I could have done that myself. Too much stuff and too heavy. I thanked my lucky stars my mom taught me how to flirt. She didn’t give me actual lessons, I just watched and remembered what she did. But, the good news is, I can teach you!

Flirting Tips

Non-Verbal Flirting Tips

1) Smile pretty. When you smile, you dramatically increase your attractiveness. And this separates you from most other women who have some how forgotten how to smile, especially at men. This is so simple, but the most important of all my flirting tips.

2) Enjoy 2-3 seconds of eye contact, before gracefully turning your head away. (This lets a man know you are safe to approach. Most men don’t like to be rejected and will avoid it at all costs.)

3) You may want to look up at him after this briefly to show him you are checking in – but be super brief about it!

4) Be friendly. Put on your friendly face and be open and willing to talk to new people. Yes, that means strangers too!

5) Be kind. For every man you notice looking at you, there are many more you didn’t notice. When you are kind to one man, other men will see that and be more willing to approach

If you feel nervous or are worried your actions will be misunderstood, keep in mind that flirting is just the next step beyond being friendly. Use your feminine charm and work it simply because you can. Its your birthright to flirt. this behavior is coded into your DNA. Flirting ensures survival of the species. Start to use this lost art and let me know how you do!

7 Ways You Push Men Away Without Even Knowing It

Could Your Behaviors Unknowingly Keep Men Away?

7 Ways You Push Men Away

How come men approach some women and not others? Do you watch men swarm around one or two “special” women at an event and wonder what their secret is? They might be flirting and radiating feminine charm and confidence to attract men. But, what if they just aren’t doing things that push men away?

Read over this list of “Don’ts” to see if you might be doing any of these behaviors that turn men off and make you appear less attractive in the moment.

1. Don’t hang out with a group of women when you are going out to meet men.

Men are very unlikely to approach a big group of women. Even three women together can be intimidating. Men don’t like to be rejected or ridiculed, and the risk for ridicule is high when you are with other women. Think about it – men know you talk about them.

If you are going out for a night of mingling with men, and you insist on going with several girlfriends, then split up from time to time and walk around alone. This will give men a chance to approach you when you are unaccompanied by others.

2. Don’t hang out with a male friend when you are trying to meet men.

If it looks like you are with a man, other men will probably not bother approaching you. They don’t want to get into a territory war or confront another man. There are plenty of other women they can talk to, so there go your chances to meet men that night.

It might seem like hanging with your guy friend makes you look more attractive, but he’s actually getting in your way.  If you want to spend time with him, go ahead and enjoy it. Just know that your friendship with him is the agenda for that night versus trying to meet new guys.

3. Don’t look unavailable or deep into what you are doing.

Sometimes you want to concentrate on surfing the net or reading a book. Nothing wrong with that. But if you are spending time at Starbucks so you can potentially meet guys, look up frequently and scan the room so you appear more approachable. men don’t want to interrupt you and get a quick rejection because you  are too busy to talk with them.

4. If you are at a singles event, don’t sit down.

Once you sit down at a table, your chances of meeting men absolutely plummet. You are now out of the way and hard to get to. Once again, there are plenty of other women to approach. Don’t make gaining access to you difficult or a challenge. Stand in a high traffic area or near the dance floor so the men can pop by and chat you up.

5. Don’t go to the ladies room with a group of gals either.

Headed for the ladies room? Go alone sweetheart. That is a primo opportunity for a man to approach you and believe me, they know this. When you go with a girlfriend or a group, you have blown your chances of him even thinking about getting your attention.

Now I realize that going with the girls is a fun habit. You can whisper in the private women’s sanctuary about all the men you’ve been eyeing. So let me ask you this: Would you rather meet men or talk about them in the bathroom? Hey, you can talk about them on the way home! Don’t miss your opportunity to connect and make the most of the moment.

Here are two quick success stories about this tip:

I met  (and then dated) a really hot guy as I exited the ladies room at a singles dance one time. He was number 28 of the 30 guys I dated on the way to finding and marrying my husband.  I also have a client who met her boyfriend of three years the very same way.

6. Don’t wear a big cocktail ring on your left hand.

OK, maybe you think I’m being silly, but I just read about this. Some guys shy away from a woman with a ring, any ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. No kidding. Especially a big diamond ring. I know you love those diamonds, but when you go out to meet men, wear some other gems stone. And keep those rings off your wedding finger.

It’s not really such a big sacrifice is it? The things we do for fashion are great – but don’t sacrifice male attention too.

7. Don’t look away when you notice a man looking at you.

The purpose of flirting is to acknowledge a man and let him know non-verbally that you see him.  He is hoping for that acknowledgment so he can possibly walk over to strike up a conversation. But, if you look away at break-neck pace, you’ve just sent him the message that you are not open, approachable or interested.

I understand – sometimes you aren’t interested. I get it. But here’s what you need to think about. It’s not only that one guy who is probably taking a quick peak at you from time to time. Other men are watching too. And when they see you being unfriendly, looking down and avoiding eye contact, your desirability index drops like a hot potato.

You’ve got to push yourself to learn to flirt and the two most basic elements are maintaining eye contact for just 2-3 seconds along with a smile when you notice a man looking at you. That’s it! And you have nothing to worry about. There is no promise in flirting. it’s just a fun spontaneous, delightful way to interact with men and let them feel good.

When you smile at a man, you make his day. He’ll feel good and then you’ll feel good. Take a  shot at it, get good at it and make a man’s day so yours will be fun and memorable too.

Avoid These Mistakes to Improve Your Dating Results

If you can avoid these seven deadly mistakes that push men away, you will automatically up your stock and find more men taking the risk to meet you. I know these tips have been proven time and time again, because besides the ton of social research that’s been conducted, my clients share their success and failure stories as well.

The success stories make everyone happier, so follow these tips for your own dating success.

Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon

June 4th – Flirt School – Attract More Men with Honey

It’s Time for Flirt School!

What makes a woman irresistible?  She’s friendly, flirty and delightful! Is that how men see you?  Did you answer “No”? Then this workshop will shift that for good. If you are dating over 40 or dating after divorce, flirting is crucial to your romantic success.

Discover simple flirting techniques and sure-fire ways to heighten your feminine charm around men so you can be all that and more.  You’ll learn how to:

  • Let a man know you are safe to approach
  • Connect without saying a word
  • Send non-verbal signals that telegraph your availability
  • Improve your Desirability Index
  • Strike up a conversation with ease
  • Make a man feel special
  • Attract more men than ever!

This fun, interactive workshop with Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan will awaken the allure that is your birth right and provide a frank discussion about how to make the most of your efforts. Plus, you’ll learn key tips to help you avoid the biggest dating mistakes women make today.

Here’s what one very satisfied dating coaching client has to say about Ronnie’s flirting tips:

“Ronnie, I gotta tell you, this flirting thing is really working for me. I smile at men with my eyes and it captures their attention. Whether I’m on my bike or at a dance, the men approach me!  I can’t believe how simple and effective this has been. Thank you!”  –Margi from Denver

You know how they say you can attract more bees with honey? Well, now you’ll be able to attract more men with your sweet, flirty self.

The magic of flirting is outrageously powerful.  Amp up your feminine energy and learn to flirt with grace and style!  Make it a priority to become your flirty best this summer to find the love you want and deserve.

Saturday, June 4th from 9am – noon
(you’ll feel more flirty by lunch time!)
Workshop is in Shelton, CT –  location provided after registration
Fee: $37
The program includes a copy of Ronnie’s new ebook:
What’s He Thinking? What You Need to Know
about How Midlife Single Men Think

April 30 – Dating – How to Be an Irresistible Woman – Stamford, CT

What makes a woman irresistible? Discover simple flirting techniques and non-verbal ways to enhance your feminine charm. You’ll learn how to let a man know you’re approachable, connect without saying a word, improve your Desirability Index, strike up a conversation and attract more men than ever!

This fun, interactive workshop will amp up your self-image, wardrobe, body language, flirting and conversation skills. Plus, you’ll get key tips to avoid the biggest dating mistakes women make today. Become an irresistible woman to find the love you want and deserve.

Fairfield County Women's Expo

Fairfield County Women’s Expo
Stamford Plaza Hotel, 2701 Summer St, Stamford, CT (formerly Sheraton)
My workshop is on Saturday, April 30 at noon
Free admission to the workshop

Get Expo admission for half price when you click here

Dating Over 40: 8 Ways to Amplify Your Allure & Attract More Men – Part 1

flirty smile

flirty smile

Before I started on my dating journey, I was one of those women who men never approached. It was rare for a man to walk up to me and ask me to dance or even strike up a conversation. I often wondered what was it about some women that made flock to them?

As I continued on my journey to find love, dating 30 men in 15 months, I crammed a lot of learning into a very narrow window of time. Many details about dating became vividly clear to me when I dove head first into mid-life dating.

Today my over 40 dating coaching clients talk about how men find them intimidating. Well maybe you are intimidating. But maybe you are also sending signals that scream “Don’t come over here!” If that is the case –  that’s non-verbal self-sabotage!

But don”t worry. This is something very fixable. Follow these eight steps to amplify your allure and you’ll start attracting more men than you ever imagine. It’s hard to believe how simple this is, but once you understand the attraction principles at work, you’ll see why these steps are so very potent.

The Basic Principle: Become Approachable!

1. Get Out of the House
You’ll never meet men if you don’t get out of the house. Take a walk in the park, around your neighborhood or near the beach. Attend a singles event or dance. Go to a business networking function. Drag a girlfriend or go alone, but go! The rest of the techniques to amplify your allure can only be applied once you get out of the house and into the public eye.

2. Be Friendly
An approachable woman appears to be friendly. Men don’t approach women who don’t look friendly because men don’t really enjoy rejection. Nope, they prefer to approach women who seem like a good bet for a pleasant interchange. It’s not just about beauty at all. Do you appear friendly and pleasant? If not, that maybe reason #1 why men don’t approach you! The fundamentals of flirting start with being friendly.

3. Dress for Self-Esteem
When you run out to pick up a few items at the store, you probably don’t care what you look like. You dash in and out of the store to get what you need and return home as quickly as possible. A+ on efficiency, but a big “F” for allure.

The problem isn’t that you don’t look attractive – it’s that you don’t want to see anyone. You literally hide and try to be invisible! That’s counter-productive.  When you go out, dress to feel good about yourself. No matter where you’re going, take care of your appearance so that you FEEL  more confident. Beauty is over 80% how you feel about yourself. When you look good, you’ll feel good, be more visible, more approachable and automatically amplify your allure.

4. Hold Your Head Up and Smile
When you walk down the street, hold your head up, look happy and smile. People often insulate themselves when walking down the street to avoid attracting attention. But if you’re in a safe area, this is not necessary and cuts you off from potential interactions. When you hold your head up, keep your shoulders back and smile, you look confident and happy. You’ll be more alluring and you’ll feel happier too.

Some women are nervous about smiling at men, thinking this is some kind of promise. But au contraire – smiling is a simple acknowledgment that means, “I see you.” Nothing more too it. When you smile, you acknowledge people and they feel good -so you feel good! And, that makes you even more attractive.

I’ll share four more sizzlin’ tips to amplify your allure tomorrow…

photo credit: cobalt123

Dating Over 40: New YouTube Video – Tips on Flirting

Do you flirt? When asked this question, most of my over 40 dating coaching clients  say things like:

  • Flirt? I don’t know how!
  • I haven’t flirted in years!
  • I can’t remember how to flirt.
  • I never have been a flirt.
  • Why should I flirt?
  • Who would I flirt with? (That’s a whole topic in itself isn’t it?)

Flirting is an art and every woman is capable and can do it.  Sometimes this skill has been on the back burner for quite a while, especially for those dating over 40.  Other times women have made a conscious choice to avoid this behavior out of misconceptions or a desire to focus on business and make it in a man’s world.

Whatever your reason, if you want romance in your life, it’s time to dust off those innate skills that are every woman’s birthright. Use it or lose it baby. And believe me, using your flirting power and feminine charm  is so much more fun!

Misconceptions from many of my over 40 dating coaching clients include:

  • I don’t want to be a tease
  • I’m not really interested in him
  • I want to flirt with just the right guy
  • I don’t want to lead a guy on

But the truth about flirting is – it’s a way of being friendly and interacting with people. There is no promise or teasing or leading anyone on when you have brief eye contact and  smile. But it is a way to acknowledge that someone has noticed you. Appreciate those people who appreciate you! Then you’ll both feel good.

By the way, if you are waiting for the perfect guy to flirt with, chances are you won’t be that great at it. Or your attempts may not seem like a natural part of your feminine charm. Why? Because you won’t have had enough practice! That’s why you might want to think about flirting as a fun way to interact with people, not just the perfect prospect.

I have finally completed a trio of videos that are up on Youtube.com and ready for viewing. The first one is below – Flirting Tips Part 1

I’ll share the other two this week as well. Please feel free to make a comment if you like the video after watching it on youtube – comments help the video become more popular.

For anyone who does make a comment, please let me know by email or contact form on the site and I’ll send you a free ebook entitled “Attract Your Next Great Mate” –  an informative compilation from many dating experts including me and The Dating Goddess.

Enjoy and happy flirting!

Over 40 Dating: Boost Your Appeal with Flirting to Attract More Men

smiling-womanThis is a great story. A couple of weeks ago I did a presentation to a group of woman on Your Feminine Charm – How to Tap  into Your Power as a Woman. Honestly, as a dating coach, this is one of my favorite talks. I had already covered what is feminine charm, why you need it,  and some of how to have more feminine charm. The last phase of this discussion is flirting!

As I explained and demonstrated basic flirting techniques, one woman asked if she could interrupt with a story. Nancy said she had the perfect illustration of how powerful my recommendations are and how well they work. “OK” I said to Nancy, “Give it a whirl.”

Here’s Nancy’s Story
She was meeting a guy at a restaurant/bar whom she had only met briefly once before . To be honest, she simply couldn’t quite remember what the fellow looked like. As the time they were supposed to meet drew near, Nancy decided the best thing to do, given the uncertainty of recognizing her date, was to smile at every man walking her way, who seemed like he might be the guy.

In reality, this meant Nancy was smiling at quite  a few men. She sees a guy walking towards her and would smile as a greeting, just in case. Now, it’s important to know that prior to this moment, Nancy was not in the habit of smiling at random men. Especially men she didn’t know in a bar!

That’s why Nancy was so surprised by the results. It seems her date was late, which meant she had that much more time to smile at guys. By the time her date arrived, Nancy literally had a swarm of men encircling her. She was smiling and laughing and exacted by all the attention. And her date must have wondered how he landed time with such a popular and magnetic woman.

Nancy finished up the story by sharing how this was the most amazing, fun thing that happened to her during the entire time she was single. No doubt huh? I’d remember a flirting adventure like that for years too!

The Morale of the Story
This is what I share with all my dating coaching clients. Smile at men! Flirt because you can. Leverage these inborn, attraction skills. It’s your birthright. Your feminine charm is yours down to the cellular level of your DNA.  Enjoy the power of being a woman. It’s something men can’t do! And it’s a way of being around men that will zoom your appeal by light years.

Don’t hestitate to try out simple flirting techniques like smiling and holding a man’s gaze briefly – just 2-3 seconds. Acknowledge a man who you see looking at you and make him feel good because you noticed. It’s really simple courtesy but works like a charm – feminine charm.

That’s exactly what attracts a man to you. It’s not your sheer beauty or your independence, or all the money you’ve made or the high power job you’ve landed, or the sales award you won. It’s more like animal attraction because attraction is a biological function and 93% non-verbal. So don’t worry about what to say or  waste it and wonder where the men are. Work it baby, work it!

Never underestimate the power of your feminine charm. It’s the number one thing you’ve got going for you. Today, smile at a man and you’ll make his day – and most likely yours too.

photo credit:     ndbutter  


Spice Up Your Feminine Charm to Meet More Men!

Spring is in the air and the desire for love usually intensifies. According to a recent article in the New York Times, the dating business is up! Both online dating sites and matchmakers report a spike in activity and lots of new members since December. What will you do to take advantage of this great opportunity?

Let me ask you three important questions:

– Do you feel desirable?
– Do men notice you?
– Do you ever flirt or know how?

Over 90% of attraction is non-verbal and based on how you feel about yourself. Learn how to avoid 5 things that drive men away. Then discover 7 simple ways that are guaranteed to increase your feminine charm and attract more men than ever!

Find out how easy it is to start flirting and leverage this natural part of who you are. And, learn why flirting is so crucial for your dating success.

Join me for this fun, eye-opening and empowering workshop to jump start spring romance.

Fee: $35
Includes my book MANifesting Mr. Right or any audio program of your choosing.

Register online until 9pm or call me at 203-877-3777 by 6pm.

Don’t miss out on this live workshop with Connecticut’s Best Known Dating Coach

Saturday, April 18th 9am – Noon
Shelton, CT –
Location information supplied with completed registration

Over 40 Dating: Flirting Lessons with Madeleine Albright!

Last night I watched Real Time with Bill Maher.  One of his special guests was Madeleine Albright,past Secretary of State during the Clinton Administration.  Maher asked Madeleine a variety of questions. Then he veered off into an area that surprised me. Bill suggested that it’s easier for women to be Secretary of State because women know how to talk to men. And women can flirt! Bill asked Madeleine straight out if she flirted with the male heads of state that she had to deal with.

Her answer? A resounding “Yes!” Madeleine not only admited that she flirted with top officials from other countries, but she also sang and danced. How very entertaining. And how savvy to use her feminine charm.

When strategy is important, using everything in your back of tricks is the best move. Albright had to help these men feel comfortable and she did that through diplomacy, politics and her feminine wiles.

So, for you women out there who feel it is beneath you to flirt, take a lesson from Madeleine Albright. Regardless of the men involved, they are still men. Your feminine charm does not belittle you or make you appear weak. It shows you are proud to be a woman, know who you are and your strengths, and still can play with the big boys.

This weekend, why not look up and smile at a few men? They’ll feel special, and you’ll feel good in return. It’s a win/win proposition, so get out there and  bat those eyelashes will ya?

Dating Over 40: Flirting – Watch this How-To Video and Learn


Here’s something new for you – Love U, an educational video series on… DATING! How fun!

I  just watched this quick video on flirting. They have the concepts down, but the demonstration seems a bit tongue and cheek. Not all that serious, really. But the lessons themselves are sound. Things like flipping your hair, mirroring his body language, and scent do make a difference and are key elements to any successful flirting plan. But I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of how the team in this little vignette executes the plan.

If you’ve got 3 minutes, why not watch it and get a good laugh. It’s pretty entertaining. Watch here  You can never get enough flirting training so check it out for yourself.

Dating After Divorce: Flirting Can Get You Arrested in NYC and Arkansas

Today on MSN.com, there is an article with some fun flirting tips – including that it’s illegal in New York City and Arkansas – antiquated laws that are still on the books.  To ensure you don’t get fined, or worse, you may want to read this . I wouldn’t worry to much though – both places have bigger infractions and law breakers to follow up on.

One of the best tips states that you can over do it. That is for sure. When flirting, avoid holding a gaze too long. This is considered an aggressive move so don’t over indulge. (You know the alpha-dog thing.) Only mothers and their children or lovers can hold an extended eye-lock with any comfort, so don’t over stay your look-see.

My favorite flirting benefit is that flirts have higher white blood cell counts – thus better  immune systems. Go figure. See, flirting is not only the key to dating, but also good for your health. Next time you have a cold and don’t feel like being friendly, remember the benefits and give it a try! Your immune system will thank you.