Tag Archives: find love

Find Love with a Twist on the Christmas Carol Story

find love, meet men, dating advice

Find Love for the Holidays

Want to find love but need inspiration? Carla Dickens here. Well not really, it’s Ronnie Ann Ryan – The Dating Coach with my own version of a holiday classic – A Christmas Carol – the story by Charles Dickens about Ebenezer Scrooge. Here’s how my version goes…

Ebbie Scrooge, a good looking woman over 50, was wasting her dating years grumbling about men. On the night before Christmas, she was commiserating with her single girlfriends, complaining bitterly about the horrible men they meet. How all the good men are taken. How they’ll never find love and refuse to settle. The girlfriends clinked their glasses one last time, toasting how they didn’t need men and parted ways. Ebbie stumbled home for a good night’s rest. But she didn’t get it.

Instead, she was visited by three Christmas Ghosts of Dating Advice who illustrated the error of her dating ways.

Ghost of Past Dating Advice

First the Ghost of Past Dating Advice dropped in to have Ebbie review her history. Ebbie is all too familiar with her unhappy past and ugly divorce. However, the Ghost is very compassionate and worked with Ebbie to remember what was good, what did make her happy, and what lessons she learned that she can bring forward to a find love again.

The dating advice apparition encouraged Ebbie to not get lost in the past. In fact, Ebbie’s past does not automatically create her dating future. She has more free will than she realized and might want to think twice about frittering it away rehashing the past.

Ghost of Present Dating Advice

Back to bed for Ebbie, she thought she’d get some rest, but not to be. The Ghost of Present Dating Advice scooped her up and they journeyed to view her current love situation. Much to her chagrin, very little is happening on the love front. The Ghost of Present Dating Advice lovingly explains to Ebbie that she does have loving energy in her life. She has children who love her, friends and family who adore her, neighbors who enjoy her, and a dog who offers unconditional love. Ebbie never considered these sources of love in her life and took them for granted.

The patient spirit of Present Dating Advice showed Ebbie how loving energy in her present life could blossom into more if she acknowledged it and felt grateful. The error of her ways, bitching and moaning, blaming men, criticizing them endlessly, actually didn’t make her feel better – it only made things worse.

Ebbie’s head was spinning from seeing how much time she spent speaking poorly about men. From this wiser vantage point, it seemed like sad, self-sabotaging behaviors that was truly getting in her way of the romance she desired. To find love, she’d have to stop the time-wasting man bashing.

Ghost of Future Dating Advice

Then Ebbie was back in bed and yet again, a third apparition, the Ghost of Future Dating Advice whisked her off. She arrived to view her life five years ahead and was amazed to find herself in the arms of a wonderful man (Bob Crachet I believe), smiling, happy and in love. How could this be? What could she shift to ensure that this future did come to pass?

The Ghost of Future Dating Advice gave Ebbie some crucial tips about being approachable and friendly to men and most importantly, appreciating men for who they are and what they have to offer. These are the keys to meeting men and finding love.

It was as if Ebbie woke up to a whole new consciousness about dating that she had never experienced before. She could see the wisdom of these Ghosts of Dating Advice and her dating coach and how their advice would help create the future love she so strongly craved, but had long ago given up on.

To Find Love,Banish the Bah-Humbug Attitude Towards Men and Dating

Ebbie reconnected with all three Romance Ghosts before her night ended and vowed to change her ways. Now that she had learned how to find love after 50, the hero of our story felt more optimistic.

She agreed to work on being more positive, open and active. She promised to minimize her complaints and banish her bah-humbug attitude that sabotaged any efforts she made. This will allow her to send good vibes into the Universe and attract the love she wants and deserves.

Good for you Ebbie! With those shifts in perspective, mindset and understanding, you will attract the love of a good man. The next day, Ebbie flirted just for the fun of being an alluring woman, received lots of attention and started on the path to the love-filled future she now knows is waiting for her.

 

Photo Credit: CamKnows

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Dating Coach Tip: Love Is for the Loving

dating coach, find love, finding love, will I ever find loveAs a dating coach, I am quite certain finding love is possible. But the question is, do you believe in love? Do you consider yourself to be a loving person? How do you share your love with the world?

In my practice as a dating coach I am often both amazed and shocked by some of the people who come to me for help. There are those who really know who they are and what they have to share. They are ready for a relationship but want some guidance to realize their dream.

On the other hand, there are women who call me with their feelings about dating, men and love that really surprise me. They can be angry, feel exceptionally entitled and think the world owes them love. To me, this is a red flag and I can tell they will have trouble attracting love into their lives. The main reason is that they are not expressing love (at least not romantic love) in the world. Instead they spread anger and resentment.

Here’s a big truth about the process:

Love is for the loving.

Trust me, I understand why you might feel angry about men, dating and love. Perhaps you’ve been hurt, gotten divorced, feel betrayed among other unpleasantness to say the least. You are entitled to these feelings and they are valid. However, if you are in the process of seeking love, it’s worth thinking about how you express love in the world.

When you are loving as a way of being, you don’t:

  • Talk trash about men
  • Sit with girlfriends and complain about how men stink
  • Feel disdain towards men in general
  • Say how there are no good men left or they are all taken
  • Feel most men are substandard human beings compared to women

These beliefs or attitudes do not come from a loving place. These ideas exemplify how your heart is not open to men, dating or romantic love.

This may sound harsh or unfair to you, but to find a good man, the most fundamental belief to hold is that men are worthy members of the human race. It may be difficult to think his way if you’ve been cheated on or lied to. As a dating coach for women, I get it. But the truth is:

All Men Are Not The Same

This is a good place to start if you have trouble thinking positively about men, love and dating. You can likely find a way to agree with the idea that all men are not exactly the same right? That makes sense doesn’t it? All women certainly are not the same.

Opening your heart and starting to trust men again can shift slowly, taking one little step at  time. Start with this small step to acknowledge all men are not the same and some good ones do exist who are single.Then every day, stretch your beliefs a little bit to see where you can go.

Can you imagine that there are a few good men left somewhere on earth? Can you imagine some of them are in the United States? Can you imagine there might be a few good men in a fifty mile radius around where you live?

Try these baby steps in building your belief system back up to a healthy, loving level. Work to open your heart again. Start believing love is possible for you. Find ways to express love and become a more loving person. Practice random acts of kindness. Share a smile with a man you don’t know – you’ll make his day and feel good about yourself as well.

Once your mindset gets to a place where good men are out there and you should be able to find one, that’s when you are ready to start dating. That’s when you swill begin to notice decent guys. That’s when the men who respond to your online dating profile will somehow be better or more appropriate.

My dating coach advice is this – The Universe follows your lead. Show it the way to go to get what you want. Be loving and express that love. Believe in yourself, love and men. Know for sure that you can find a good man. Once you do this, you are most certainly on the path to attracting the lasting love you crave.

To learn more about creating a loving mindset, check out the Man Attraction Secret

Finding Love: Does Life Get in the Way?

 

Does finding love seem like a dream and a far away possibility?

finding love, will I ever find love, how to find your soulmateFinding love might not be high on your priority list if you are a single woman over 40. Let’s face it, you are one busy gal! You may have children to raise, a stressful job, elderly parents, never mind exercise, cooking and other household chores. That’s a lot on anyone’s plate. So how does finding love fit into the equation?

Let me share a classic story from my coaching training:

There was a teacher in front of a classroom with a pile of rocks, pebbles and sand, as well as a large clear glass jar. She asked someone from the audience to come up and put all three piles into the jar. The volunteer started by putting the pebbles and sand in first. By doing this, she discovered there was no room for the bigger rocks!

Yet, getting everything into the jar was completely possible. The teacher showed everyone in the room how all the material – sand, pebbles and the bigger rocks could all fit. The trick is to start with the big rocks, then place the pebbles, and last add the sand which fills in the small spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

How does this translate to finding love?

The lesson illustrated by this story is that if you don’t make love a priority like your children and your job, you’ll never fit it into your life. As your dating coach, I want you to consider finding love as one of your big rocks too. Otherwise, you’ll get everything else done except dating. If dating comes last after some of the smaller things on your plate, you’ll never find time.

If you truly want to enjoy a loving relationship with the right man, you need to MAKE time to create that reality in your life. It’s simply a matter of priority and carving out a little time to attract love into your life. It’s not likely to happen somehow magically if you don’t put your attention on it.

Life always has a way of getting in the way. While dating or finding time isn’t easy, you have to decide to focus on what you want. I’ll borrow a phrase from Fabienne Frederickson who is a coach for women in business. She suggests people take the “No excuses approach”. In other words, if your really want to find love, make a commitment to yourself and stand behind your desire and your words.

How does this work? First, you cannot allow yourself to wiggle out of your commitment. Do you know the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? The first of the four agreements is to “be impeccable with your word.” Now that doesn’t mean just with others, it also includes being impeccable with yourself.

So, you decide what actions you’ll take such as posting an online profile and meeting at least one new man a week or going to a Meetup.com group. Then schedule time in your calendar. For example, you might set aside 30-minutes, three times a week to look for men on line and then a 3-hour window over the weekend to meet someone (including getting ready and drive-time).

Next, even if you don’t feel like it, you do what you committed to do anyway. One thing I can tell you for sure, you’ll never meet the right man if you only want to stay cozy in your comfort zone. You will need to push yourself. You will need to be tough and go any way. You will need to put a smile on your face. That’s what it takes.

Now you might be thinking, “Well heck, it’s just not worth it if I have to do that!” But I disagree. From my own personal experience, I know it’s worth it. Totally worth it. When you take the time to invest in yourself and your love life and find the right man, that is worth EVERYTHING YOU DID! Every bad date, crummy singles dance, and disappointment you faced along the way.

I am talking about LOVE. Real love with a supportive and caring man who is out there waiting to meet a great women like you. Unfortunately, you won’t find him if you don’t make time and take some action. You have to make yourself available for men to find you!

Do you remember what love is like? It’s not just pain, hurt, heartbreak and discomfort. Love is magical. Love makes the world go ’round.  Love is blissful and inspiring. Love is comforting and enlivening. Love exists today and I am behind you 100% to go out and find it. And, most importantly learn how to attract it.

That’s what I’m here for as your dating coach for women over 40 – to inspire, motivate, share my tips for finding love AND help you discover how to attract love into your life. Call me at 203-877-3777 for a free 15-minute consultation. Let’s talk about how to create the love life you deserve.

Princeton Mom’s Dating Tips Anger Women of All Ages

Seeking savvy dating tips to find a husband? Don’t look to the Princeton Mom!

dating blog, dating tips for women, Princeton Mom

Princeton Mom – Susan Patton

Last year, Susan Patton, alum and mother of two Princeton sons, shared her dating tips on finding a husband while still in college in the Daily Princetonian newspaper. Her opinion on how coeds should spend more time looking for love then working on career sent shock waves through women of all ages.

This year, the rewritten op ed piece appeared in the Wall Street Journal on Valentine’s Day. As a dating coach for women over 40, I can see what caused the fury.

Here are six of Susan’s most annoying points for college girls:

  1. Insinuates that women should marry early. Over 30, single gals will likely compete with younger women and fail to land a decent husband
  2. Don’t fall for the old P.C. feminist line that educated ambitious women can’t have it all – great jobs and a family
  3. You could marry a man who isn’t your intellectual equal if you wait, but what will you talk about if he doesn’t know Norwegian playwrights or medieval tapestries?
  4. Don’t have casual sex with a guy who could become your husband because men still don’t buy the cow if the milk is free.
  5. College is an environment teeming with like-minded, age appropriate single men and you’ll never find this concentration of single guys again
  6. Women invest more in planning for their careers than their personal happiness

Point #1 – Marry early or else. Huffington Post shared an angry rebuttal written by Emma Gray who at 26 says, “Thanks, but no thanks”. Like most of the response pieces, Emma’s hackles were raised by the idea that eating sushi and watching Downton Abby shouldn’t be enough for today’s young, career-minded women. Instead they should work on getting a husband.

Emma goes on to point out that young women like her are looking for love, working on careers that are not a waste of time, enjoying sex without preventing them from finding love, and still value marriage and motherhood. That is good to hear. Of course you can find love and marry after college! Women do not have an expiration date. See point #5 below.

Point #2 – Don’t fall for the feminist line. Slate.com did a post that listed quotes and determined whether men or women should be more insulted. Funny! Interestingly enough, the writer, Katy Waldman (who must be a youngster) did not know what the P.C. Feminist line is, even though Susan stated her version in the next sentence (You can’t have it all – a great job and a family) By the way, that’s incorrect!

This is evidence of how lost the old feminist ideas really are. The point was women CAN HAVE IT ALL. Peggy Lee sang the lyric, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you’re a man”  from I’m a Woman in the 60’s. I’ll put ignorance about women’s lib aside for now.

The Slate piece did point out how a Match.com study showed men aren’t at all turned off by smart women. And Salon.com quoted the New York Times piece which explained new research revealing “Women in the top 15% of earners are now more likely to be married than their lower-earning counterparts”. That pretty much pokes a big hole in Patton’s worries.

Point #3 – Marry your intellectual equal. Now it’s true, I didn’t go to an Ivy leagues school, but I do have an MBA. This may surprise you, but I actually have chatted about medieval tapestries with a group of women (from the book Woman with the Alabaster Jar), but not with men.

My husband is a mechanic and I would say we aren’t focused on intellectual conversation. Instead we like to laugh and I enjoy his sense of humor immensely. And when we play Trivial Pursuit – we are evenly matched, although not on the same topics, which makes us a formidable team. You can be plenty bright without college.

Point #4 – Don’t have casual sex. I have noticed the stigma about having sex outside of a monogamous relationship has shifted. Seems like everyone is doing it, at least from what I see on TV. Just look at Vanderpump Rules – they all sleep with each other even when in a supposed committed relationship.

Jeff Mac, author of Manslations, shared his point of view that men no longer hold it against a woman if she sleeps with him on the first date. He says the guy either likes her or he doesn’t, regardless of when she chose to sleep with him. (I interviewed Jeff Mac years ago.)

Not being in that younger generation, I can’t say for sure about when to get intimate. I tend to be more traditional. So I think that holding off to better understand a guy’s intentions is smart if you’re looking for lasting love. That might not be sage advice for 20 somethings, even if it makes sense for women dating over 40.

What I do know is that cows today have become really hip! Haven’t you seen those commercials for California Dairy Association? They sing in the shower and talk! Susan’s reference about not buying the cow when the milk is free is so dated, what college girl would listen?

Point #5 – College is teeming with single guys. OK, here’s where I start to agree with Mrs. Patton. College IS a place teeming with singles and there never will be an environment like this again in your life. That’s true. Of course it doesn’t mean you can’t find love after you graduate – how ridiculous!

As we age, the single men do get harder to find and many do want younger women. Yet, a study conducted by AARP discovered 30% of women aged 40 – 70 are dating younger men. That evidence disproves Susan’s theory that all men want younger women. Some must be attracted to older women or who are older women dating?

Keep in mind dating habits of the young have changed. Fewer date and have relationships in high school or college. I’m not sure why that is. Could it be due to the high rate of divorce and single parent households? Could it be a result of so many divorced mothers sacrificing their love lives to focus on the kids till graduation and not being a model for love and relationships?

I can’t say for sure, but things have changed. The birthrate in several European countries is very low, only 1.6% which means the population is not replacing itself. Good for population control, but troubling for many other social reasons. Statistically, people are not marrying and raising families the way they used to do. I wrote about this last year (Global Love Crisis).

Point #6 – Invest more in your love life. As a dating coach for women with 12 years experience, I know this is true. Women do invest way more in their careers than in their love lives and those proportions are probably smart in general speaking. An education is very expensive today and still needed.

However, no one teaches the young how to find love or a boyfriend, or how to maintain a healthy relationship. There is no formal training or education. For the most part, girls/women are on their own, having nothing more to learn from than their family, movies, TV and books and girlfriends. That might not be enough to improve marriage success or lasting love given the current 50% divorce rate.

let me ask you this thought provoking question, “What would your love life look like if you had invested more time and money to learn about love, how to find it and keep it going?” Being in this profession, I am biased. My hope is that you can consider the idea, realize it has some merit and makes sense when you think it through.

Who is Susan Patton really talking to?

Overall, the problem with Susan Patton’s dating tips is that she seems to be talking to older women in their late 30’s, 40’s and 50’s who might wish they started seeking love sooner. Get real Susan, no one can go back and fix that – you can only be present and move forward. The only people who will probably by her book will be women my age giving it to their college-aged daughters – like that will have an impact.

It’s Never Too Late!

As a dating coach for women over 40, I say – “It’s never too late!” I had a big career, and still found love and married for the first time at 43. Regardless of your love history, you can find love today. Stop worrying about controversial dating tips like Patton’s and how you don’t like it. Channel all that energy and invest instead in WHAT YOU DO WANT – whether that’s career or love or both – go for it.

Is Your Love Life Like the Polar Vortex?

 

love life, meet men, find love, online dating, dating coach for womenAre you feeling the Polar Vortex deep freeze? Perhaps that describes more than this freakishly cold weather we’ve been having in the US. Unfortunately it might also refer to the state of  your love life.

There are many reasons for a chill in your dating journey. Maybe you:

  • Stopped going out to meet men
  • Haven’t been smiling at the men you see
  • Forgot about your ability to flirt
  • Gave up on singles events and Meetup.com groups
  • Got super busy with the holidays
  • Feel overwhelmed by work
  • Have to put away holiday decorations
  • Haven’t recovered yet from a love gone wrong
  • Still feel the burn of rejection
  • Have already started worrying about your taxes
  • Dread boring conversation with one more man
  • Are tired of disappointment from online dating

This list could go on for days right? There are countless reasons why your efforts to find love got derailed and frozen over. According to an AARP study, only 16% of single women between 40 and 70 do anything to change their single status. So you are in very good company!

If your love life is not happening, don’t despair. It’s a whole new year out there and you now have a clean slate to build from. That’s why I’ve come up with some super simple tips to help you heat things up in the romance department.Let’s take the chill out of the dating air for you and warm up your options.

5 Tips to Reverse the Polar Vortex and Defrost Your Love Life


1. Imagine Love Is Possible for You

Yes! This is an essential first step if your love life has been in the deep freeze. Thaw things out by spending time believing that you can find love. Regardless of the current evidence of love in your life, move ahead to imagine that you really can find love and this is the year you’ll do it!

2. Take a Positive Stance
This is similar to the first step, but I want you to catch yourself when you start complaining about men or your lack of love life. The words you say influence your outlook. So, no more complaining if you can help it. Put a stop to this negativity and turn things around.

The more positive you are about yourself, your life and love, the more attractive you are. This builds a positive vibration and your confidence as well. Confidence is very sexy.

3. Start Noticing Men You might be in the position where you don’t even notice men around you nay more. I had a client who insisted that she lived in a totally married area. But, after I encouraged her to do this exercise, she was shocked at how many men she started seeing. She couldn’t believe she had been so blind to them all before!

4. Start Smiling at Men
What a wild request huh? Smile at men? Unheard of! If you read my blog, you know I talk about this all the time. Why? Because women simply don’t do this simple little thing.

Please trust me. This silly little tip will change your life. First of all, you’ll start looking beyond your nose and connect with people around you. You’ll make a lot of men’s days wonderful and that will help you feel good too.

And most importantly, by starting this kind of interaction, you’ll make yourself approachable and available to men! You’ll be surprised how many more guys will take a chance at trying to talk to you. That’s what you want – that’s how you meet men!

5. Got Out to Meet Men!
Yes, the number one way to meet the love of your life is to meet lots of new men. You have to go out to do this. If you can commit to 3 nights a month, you up your chances to find love significantly. Are you serious about turning up the heat in the romance department? If you said yes, then go out!

  • Try MeetUp.com which has tons of singles groups and events. It’s a free site – just enter your zip code and that you are looking for singles events.
  • Try going out to hear live acoustic or jazz music. Men love guitars.
  • Go to an auto show, antique car exhibit, boat show – men love big toys
  • Visit a Barnes & Noble on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon – Find men in the magazine section or near the history books
  • Go  watch Monday night football at a sports bar
  • Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity of something else that attracts men
  • Get online and post a profile

That’s just a handful of ideas on how and where to meet men. There are so many more once you get started. Ask the women you meet where they go. Ask the single men you know where they hang out.

You deserve to have the love of a good man, romance and a life partner if you want one.  Follow these simple steps and you’ll be meeting men before you know it. Every man you meet brings you one man closer to the right one for you.

 

Find Love: Is 2014 Your Year for Love?

find love, meet men, new year 

Was your desire to find love a 2013 resolution?

With the new year here, you may be reflecting on the last 12 months thinking about what you did and didn’t accomplish. I was talking to a dating coaching client a few days ago who told me honestly how disappointed she was. Another year had gone by without finding love. She felt sad and disheartened.

We talked about how her feelings were real and understandable. I suggested she work through them and find a way to let them go. This way, she can start the New Year with a clean slate and an open mind. Optimism is so important for you to find love. A positive outlook helps you be so much more attractive – especially energetically.

If you want to find love, here are 3 super simple tips to help you take steps and make finding love a priority in your life.

1. Know What You Want – That might seem obvious or overly simple, but it’s a valid requirement and necessary. If you don’t know what you want in a life and romantic partner, take the time to give it some serious thought. As a dating coach for women over 40, I can tell you that making a list helps you clarify the qualities you want in a man. As long as you don’t use this list to reject every man, it’s a productive and helpful exercise.

Don’t be one of those women who say, “I’ll know him when I see him,” because that probably won’t work. Or just take the first guy who pays attention to you since you might not be compatible. If you are serious about finding love, then think about the personality and character of the man you hope to love. Do you want a partner who is sweet, talkative, social, smart, fun-loving, affectionate? You get the idea. Go ahead and make that list.

2. Take Action – Wishing for love is one thing. Finding love is another. If you want to meet men, you’ll have to make yourself available and that requires taking action. That means you have to go out! Where should you go to find men?

  • Attend Meetup.com events
  • Go to singles dances
  • Listen to live music
  • Ask your friends to set you up on blind dates
  • Try online dating

Without taking action, the chances of you finding love are quite slim. As you know, Mr. Wonderful won’t knock on your door (unless you’re willing to date the pizza delivery guy).

3. Make Time  – So many of my clients tell me they really don’t have time to date.  Work is crazy, kids have to be driven all over town, household chores pile up. I understand, trust me. But here’s the truth, if you don’t have time to date, you don’t have time for love. It takes the same amount of your attention and time.

Women talk about how dating is such a waste of time. Who wants to spend so much time with all the wrong guys? The problem is, you can’t find love with the right guy if you don’t meet a whole bunch of guys. That’s just how it is. So instead of thinking you are wasting your precious and limited time, think about it this way…

Every man you meet:

  • Is an opportunity to practice your feminine charm
  • Builds your confidence and dating skills
  • Helps you figure out what will and won’t work
  • Brings you one man closer to the right man for you

As my friend, Vermont matchmaker Nicole from Compatibles always says, “No one ever looks back after finding love to say ‘What a waste of time that was.'”

So, I ask you, is this your year for love? If you can say “YES” enthusiastically, then yeah for you! You’ve got the right attitude to find love and make this year count.

 

Find Love: Santa Has the Image, But the Elves Are Where It’s At

Santa, single at the holidays, find love, meet menHoping to find love?

Here’s my tongue and cheek discussion about who might be your most compatible partner…

Every year it’s the same thing. Santa, Santa, Santa! I know he’s a jolly fellow and delivers all the toys. But honestly, isn’t it time to give those adorable elves some attention too?

Elves are the backbone of North Pole operations. They work hard all year long, making gifts to fulfill everyone’s wishes (those who have been good). The elves get the job done and never let Santa or us down.

But, when holiday time comes around, all anyone can talk about is Santa! Why is that? To me, Santa is a lot like the top 5% of single men over 40. What?

Think about it. Santa is perfect. He’s tall, has a great personality, is very social, everyone loves him and wants him to visit. He’s a leader, confident and decisive, and he knows how to make anyone feel special with his charming ways and twinkle in his eye. That sounds like the top 5% of men to me. Read the rest of the post on how to find love here…

 

 

Find Love: What’s Your Year End Love Life Recap Look Like?

find love, love life, meet men, dating coachingWant to Celebrate the Holidays with Someone Special in 2014? Start looking right now!

The end of 2013 is approaching and I am wondering, how does your end of year love life recap look? What have you done to find love?

Maybe you didn’t meet the man of your dreams this year, but there are other positive measures to consider while on the dating journey.

  • Did you meet new men?
  • Did you go on dates?
  • Did you try any new venues or groups?
  • Did you have any blind dates
  • Did you learn anything new about yourself and the man you are seeking?
  • Did you improve your flirting abilities?

Everything you do and every man you meet brings you one step closer to the right man for you.

As a dating coach for almost 12 years, I completely understand how hard it can be to stay positive, especially during the holiday season. This is the worst time of year for some single women who have a strong desire to be in a loving relationship and create memories with a special man.

I want to encourage you to create your own love life recap. This is your chance to feel good about any efforts you made towards fulfilling your goal of a loving relationship. I applaud every single thing you did – whether you took some huge action or a tiny little step to help yourself find love. It all counts and makes a difference!

I’ve created an easy Love Life Recap form to fill out for you if you’d like to download it. This way you can simply print out the  document and fill it in. Hopefully all the lines will help jog your memory about the things you tried during 2013 to find love.

After completing this exercise, I have another suggestion. Print out this version for 2014 and make it your Love Life Goal Sheet 2014. Use the sections to choose what new steps you’ll try in the coming year. Work from the form to determine your New Year’s resolutions.

You can find love! People fall in love every day. The question is, what will you do to make finding love a reality in your life? I don’t want you to be like Courtney, from Bravo TVs “Courtney Loves Dallas” who is waiting for the magic of love to happen to her. Being active is your best chance for crossing paths with the right man.

3 Ways to Broaden Your Dating Game and Find Love in 2014:

  1. Check out www.MeetUp.com for singles groups and evens in your area. You can join for free, then look up singles events within your zip code!
  2. Post a profile online and get over your worries, fears or bad past experiences. This is still one of the fastest ways to jump start your love life. If you want to know where men over 40 and 50 are, they are online in big numbers!
  3. Enlist your friends for help and get them to fix you up with friends, colleagues, neighbors and family members. I met my husband on a blind date after meeting his sister in a bar. They way everyone knows 250 people approximately, so if you only ask 10% to help you, If’s 25 people know 250 others, that’s 6,250 people to pick from! 

This is your love life I’m talking about. Take a stand for yourself. Commit to a plan of action to find love and then follow through. I’m your cheerleader for love and I’m going all out to root for you. 2014 can be your year and 12 months from now you could be having that romantic holidays season that you wish you were having this year.

 

Find Love: 1000 Articles About Dating, Love & Understanding Men

find love, meet men online dating profile, dating coachI can’t believe it, this is my one thousandth dating advice blog post!  That’s a whole lot of blogging and it just amazes me. To commemorate the momentous occasion, I thought it would be fun to highlight 11 of my most popular posts for you – one for each year I’ve been a dating coach.

As a dating coach for women, my job is to help women find love, meet men, understand men, write a great  online dating profile and so much more. If you read these articles, you’ll walk away with a far better understanding of men and dating.  Knowledge is power if you want to find love, so read up!

1. He Texts Me But Doesn’t Ask Me Out

This post is by far the most popular and a new chronic problem in the dating world. Men (and women too) who text up a storm, but don’t have time (or desire perhaps) to see you.  Why do people text if they don’t want to see you? And what should you do about it? Is texting a way to find love?

2. Don’t Pursue Men or You’ll Make Them Run!

The second most popular post, women write their questions to me all the time with their reasons for contacting a man. Every answer I provide goes back to the original post on why it’s simply not a good idea to chase men if you want to find love.

3. He Flirts with Me But Doesn’t Ask Me Out

Here’s the 3rd most popular post with a common problem many women face. Understanding that flirting doesn’t always indicate true interest can be hard to swallow, but will make more sense once you read the article. This will save you a lot of potential heartache.

4. What Works Better Than Chasing Men

If you are inclined to contact men and pursue them in any way, this post gives you smarter alternatives that have much more promise.

5. Understand Men: Mixed Signals Are So Confusing

Sometimes men say one thing, but do another and things just don’t add up. What are you supposed to make of this and how can you understand what is really going on? That’s what I make clear in this article about mixed signals if you want to find love.

6. How to Know When to Believe What a Man Says And When to Ignore His Words

If you have been drawn in by the sweet words a man says, or have ignored what a man said and then regretted it, here’s how you can know once and for all – when to believe what a man is saying. This test of his words works every time without fail.

7. Four Big Reasons Not to Call Him

Often, my dating coaching clients just want to call a man and ask him a direct question about what is going on. Since both parties are adults, this would seem like a perfectly good solution right?  But it is not a good idea! You won’t get the results you are looking for and you need to find out why this is true.

8. Why Didn’t He Call? The Best Way to Handle Rejection

It can be so disappointing and hurtful when a man you thought you had a great connection with doesn’t call. Here are my suggestions for handling rejection, how to feel better and move on.

9. Eight Powerful Ways to Get His Attention Back

For some of my dating coaching clients, they feel they must TRY to get him back before they can possibly move on. This post provides eight ways to potentially recapture his attention to find love again.

10. Five Tips to Survive a Breakup

Once you know it’s really over, you could use all the help you can get. Here’s my brief survival guide for breakup recovery. These five tips provide my very best dating advice about the end of a relationship.

11. Dating After Divorce: 8 Things You Need to Know Before You Start

 If you are divorced and thinking about getting back out there, or have started dating and feel confused, please read these 8 essential dating tips. They’ll help you stop wasting time and feeling so confused.

 If you need expert dating advice, ask me during my monthly Inner Circle Calls.  The first Monday night of every month you can get savvy dating answers to your questions to clear up confusion, demystify situations, understand men, get dating tips and so much more. Read more and register now for the next call and the dating advice you need.

Find Love Faster: Does Your Desire for Love Match Your Actions?

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Find Love Faster: Do Your Actions Align with Your Desire for Love?

Wish you could find love faster? Get these 5 tips to make it happen!

This week had a theme with my dating coaching clients. For many women, even though they want a man in their life, they are not taking the steps needed to find love. That’s a big problem. A lack of action will surely keep you single.

If you want a loving relationship, you can’t sit home on the couch or tell me you are too busy with life. You have to make finding love a priority. But it takes more than going out to meet men.

Aligning your actions with your desires applies to many facets of your life.

1. Do you dress the part of a woman seeking love? 
I’m not talking about when you go on a date or when you go to meet new guys. I’m talking about day in and day out. Presentation is EVERYTHING! And you just never know where you might meet a man. But one thing I know for sure, if you don’t look good, you’d rather hide than be friendly and that will not support your objective to find love will it? Nope, not a chance.

You don’t need to be dressed to the nines as they say 24/7. But it’s important to look good and feel good about how you look. Pay attention to your makeup, hair, and a decent outfit. Even if you just have on a T-shirt and jeans, why not nice jeans and a great colored -T with snazzy accessories?

2. Do you look up to see who is around?
How many times do you go out to do errands and are so focused you don’t notice who is around you? I know it happens every day. But if you want to meet more men, you  have to look up once in a while and smile at them. Men often ask me why they can’t get a woman’s attention in the grocery store. Usually it’s because she is totally task focused and looks like crap, and just wants to get in, get the stuff, and get out.

3. Do you smile at men, talk to them and act friendly?
Remember, the more men you meet and talk to, the better your chances to find love. Since men are everywhere you go, you have to engage with them. Please smile, be friendly and talk to men. Try

flirting!  This can be very entertaining and fun. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the positive exchanges you have when you get started. Being friendly makes you so much more approachable and the easier it is for men to talk to you, the more dates you’ll get.

4. Do you speak positively about yourself and your life?
This goes back to presentation is everything. Not only for how you look, but also for how you speak. When you are positive about yourself and your life, you are automatically more attractive. I’m not saying you can’t speak the truth, just moderate how much and to whom. You only get one chance to make a first impression so make it good!

5. Do you give men a chance?
When men do approach you, do you shut them down right away, worried that you don’t want to get started? Is one of your fears that you won’t be able to get rid of a guy once you start talking to him? Many women feel this way, but when you shut men down, you limit your opportunities. Not only with that specific man, but with the other potential guys who are also watching you, but are turned off because you weren’t friendly.

To meet more men and find love, you must give men a chance. Men can surprise in a good way you if you let them. A lot of single women today think if the guy isn’t a 9 on a scale of 1-10, they don’t want to bother.  This attitude will keep you single for sure. men are people too and while some are definite “No’s”, some of the 6’s, 7’s and 8’s are fabulous guys who just need you to give them a chance. They are loyal, smart and want to please you.

On the other hand, men who are 9’s and 10’s usually know it and as a result are not the best suitors. They know there are women on every corner who want them, so they don’t try harder – sort of like the old Hertz -Avis TV commercials – Avis said “We try harder” and that was because they were #2.

If you follow this dating advice, you will find love faster. Make sure your actions are aligned with your desire to meet men and see how your love life explodes!

 

Dating After 40: What’s Your Commitment to Find Love?

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Dating after 40 – What’s Your Commitment to Find Love?

Are you dating after 40 and not having any luck with love?

No one said dating is easy. Whether you are dating after 40 or younger, looking for love takes time and effort. Yet, I am constantly amazed at how many people think love will somehow magically fall into their lap.

As you can imagine, I speak to many single women every week. Here is how the conversation often goes.

Prospective Client: I just can’t find a decent guy
Dating Coach: I understand, it’s not always easy. What have you done over the last month to meet new men?

Prospective Client: Oh, what have I done to meet men? Um, not much, nothing really.

Dating Coach: So there is a big gap between what you say you want and what you are doing to find it.

Since most women who call me do almost nothing to find love. is it that surprising that they can’t find a decent guy? Now I know this is not always true. I have some clients who are active. They do go out to dances, singles events and coffee dates from online dating. And yet, they haven’t found true love yet. Sometimes this is related to stringent criteria, and sometimes it simply boils down to timing. Looking for your romantic partner does take time and is a numbers game.

But for the vast majority of women who contact me, they want love, but aren’t doing a thing to find it. Well, they did call me so that is an empowering first step.

As your dating coach, here’s my question for you:

What is your commitment to finding love?

 

  • Right now, take a moment to answer this question for yourself.
  • Do you get out once a week to meet new people?
  • Are you willing to stretch beyond your comfort zone?
  • Have you taken the pressure off and are open to meeting new men , not just the perfect man?
  • Do you try new groups or singles events?
  • Have you posted an online dating profile?
  • Do you say “Yes” to opportunities where you could  meet people?
  • Do you rely on your feminine charm?
  • Have you updated your wardrobe, hair and makeup recently?
  • Do you leave pursuit up to the men?

Every one of these questions guides you along the path to find love and will help you get there faster, especially when you are dating after 40. When younger, things can be easier because you have less inhibitions, fewer work and life demands, fewer habits to break and bad experiences to get beyond. But that doesn’t mean that dating after 40 is impossible. After all – I did it – which is why I know you can find love too.

You are the only person who can find the love you want.

You are the one who is totally responsible for finding love. When you cross paths with enough men and open your heart and mind to men and love, you will find him – that ideal man for you. When you invest in yourself and your heart’s desire, the Universe will also step up and provide the last ingredient – a little kismet to create the magic moment for love fall into place.

Please make the commitment to yourself to find love. Do your part so the Universe will notice.

 

 

Dating After 40: How I Knew I Met “The One”

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Dating After 40: How I Knew I Met “The One”

If you know anything about my own success story about dating after 40 and finding love, then this will not be anything new. I like to share how I managed to find love to provide hope. Too many people have given up or feel there is so little promise out there.  My feeling is, if I could find love, I’m quite certain anyone who has the drive and determination to stick with the process, can find love too.

My dating coaching clients often ask me about finding their soulmate. Sometimes looking for that perfect someone can be a problem and become a barrier to finding love. A lot depends on your criteria and how selective you are. You can probably imagine how being too picky might keep you single. But, other times times, you meet someone and there are signs letting you know you have found “the one”.

After dating 30 men if 15 months, here’s how I knew I had met a man that had the long-term potential I was seeking. I’ve told my love story many times, but this version made it to the eHarmony blog! I am so excited!

http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2013/05/13/finding-the-one-after-40/

Find Love: Why Didn’t He Want Exclusivity with Me?

 

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Find Love: Why didn’t he want exclusivity with me?

To Find Love, Go For Exclusivity in a Relationship

This letter was from a woman who had a hard time understanding why a man she met online, who seemed to appreciate who she was would let her go? The question really comes down to exclusivity. She handled this well, but I gave her a tip that can really help in the future.

Dear Ronnie The Dating Coach for Women,

I want to find love but here’s what happened. My heart is broken a tiny bit. Met a guy online and had three amazing dates. But I was paying attention: he talked about how important his work is and how it takes a lot of his time. He also said women did not always understand this about him. And was looking for a partner to fit in when HE had time. He could never commit to plans and has some financial strains because of his business.

On the third date, I told him I would not sleep with anyone if we weren’t exclusive. On our fourth date, he asked to clarify what I meant by being exclusive. I said I only sleep with boyfriends and would date in a non-committed situation for a limited time – about 2-4 months. He said he could not offer exclusivity, but wanted to keep going out.

Then he pulled back, still called, but less touching base. We saw each other two more times and the last time I felt I had to ask for time and attention, more than he was giving in the two-hour slot he had given me.

So I ended it by email by saying I liked him, wanted more than he could give and wasn’t going to pressure him and get hurt and wished him well. He sent me a very sweet email saying how great I am – good date and communicating.

My question is, why would he let me go? Or was he never capable? I feel sad.

Thanks for any insights you can give,
Frustrated in Framingham, MA

 
Dear Frustrated,

I know this is painful and my heart goes out to you regarding the disappointment on your journey to find love. Having gone on about six dates, you would think this was going somewhere. Unfortunately it did not because this man has a different dating agenda than you do. Not sure if he is incapable or simply not interested in a relationship. At least you found out early rather than six months down the road.

The good news
But the good news is that you are a savvy dater! You did catch on – he is not interested in a relationship right now. His business is his priority and he is honest about not wanting to make any promises. She is his first love. You would always be second.

Men (and women too) often use the work excuse as a barrier. “I’m so busy and women don’t understand me.” That works pretty good on most women, but not you!

From my perspective as a dating coach, he let you go because he cannot offer what you want. Sounds like he wants a no-strings, no expectations relationship with a non-demanding woman who is terribly busy herself so she doesn’t care. Or a woman who foolishly thinks he will some how turn around and want more once he falls in love with her – extremely unlikely. He did suggest continuing, but you declined which was very wise.

I also want to mention that your timing expectations seem reasonable – not sure of your age but 2-4 months to achieve exclusivity seems fair to me.

Keep some mystery! Don’t give away your timetable
Something to consider for future situations. You can explain that you don’t sleep with a man who is not exclusive, but you might want to keep your timetable to yourself. Men are funny about fitting into someone else’s timetable. They don’t need to know everything that’s up your sleeve…let them wonder what it will take to win you over – it’s more of a chase.

The reason I say this is I had a client who read in a book to wait 30 hours before intimacy. Phone calls and dates counted. Unfortunately, she told the guy she was dating. Even though it took time to get there, he waited the 30 hours to get her into bed and then disappeared. The game was worth it to him – maybe he liked a challenge.

So, a bit of mystery is not only good for him, it’s good for you too.

There are many more men, good men who want a relationship out there waiting to meet you. Get back out there soon!

Wishing you love,
Ronnie

 To learn more about online dating – Read more and Register for my upcoming program How to Sizzle vs. Fizzle Online starting Tuesday, May 14th

 

Find Love: Date Around on HuffPoLive!

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Find Love By Dating Multiple Men

Find love through volume dating

So excited to share I was on HuffPoLive – video chat segment last Thursday discussing dating around and dating more than one man at a time. I’m a big believer in this. The reason? You just don’t know who will stick around and who will disappear!

Please keep in mind that I’m talking about dating – the first 4-10 dates, and not multiple relationships. That is something very different. The purpose of dating is to get to know someone to understand your compatibility and their potential for long-term relationship. Having a few dates doesn’t mean anything. There’s no exclusivity or commitment! All of that takes time and communication and doesn’t happen in the first three dates (or should I say very rarely happens).

The segment was with anchor Abby Huntsman – she was awesome and three dating bloggers in their 20’s! Plus me as the dating expert. Prescott, Jena and Joshua were all very smart about dating from my perspective.

But the funniest thing said was by Abby Huntsman who said  something like, “Well all this dating around is for people in their 20’s” – WRONG!  It’s for any age when you want to find love. never narrow your choices and set your sights on a man when you have no idea what his dating agenda is. He might not want exclusivity or a long-term relationship. So hedge your bets and date smart!

Here’s the link – watch and enjoy!

 

Photo Credit: Yuckbananas

Meet Men: Visually, What Appeals Most to Men in a Woman?

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Ready to Meet Men?

You Have to Meet Men to Find Love

You may think that headline is silly – of course you need to meet men to find love and lots of them! That’s why knowing what men really look for visually in a woman matters. What criteria sets you apart from other women?

These tips I’ll be sharing might not be what you think. They are much simpler than you probably expect. But I get this advice from MEN themselves. Before I actually tell you what men want, I want to first alert you to something you want to ignore. That’s right, you want to pay absolutely no attention to this particular source of information about what men want. Are you ready?

Don’t let what you read in men’s online dating profiles fill your head about what men want. Remember, a profile is like your ultimate wish list. When men write their online dating profile, they express the qualities they seek in their ideal woman. That’s what you do as well right?  But this is not exactly a true description of the women they will choose to date. So, don’t read all those profiles and get depressed about what men write. That’s a big mistake.

Let me tell you about Dave Barry, a Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist for 25 years whose work appeared in 500+ US newspapers and abroad. Dave has also written a total of 30 books among many other accomplishments. He is a contributor to a new book entitle The Better Bombshell and  I read a section of what he wrote. He’s funny, down-to-earth and makes his point quickly. Let me give you the highlights.

1. Most men don’t like short hair on women.
It’s true and is confirmed constantly for me by the single and coupled men I speak with on a regular basis. They want hair that is touchable and longer, like at least touching your shoulders. Dave gave a list of the women who look great in short hair: 1) Halle Barry 2) The late Audrey Hepburn.

He then went on to say if your name isn’t on the list, you can still get a short hair cut, but don’t expect men to like it. And, if you ask a man whether he likes a short haircut- he is most likely to just lie so he won’t hurt your feelings.

2. Most men like any woman who has a chance of being naked.
If you do the research, you will find this standard repeated over and over again. Men are not nearly as picky about body types as women think they are. Or as women are about themselves. Yes, if you give them a preference of model beautiful, they might select that OR NOT.

One time I was out with my husband and his single friend Jimmy. I pointed out several gorgeous blonds at the bar and asked why Jimmy didn’t approach them. His response was, “Are you kidding? Too high maintenance!” He wanted nothing to do with those beautiful gals.

I’ve read lots and lots of material written by men, male dating coaches and other dating experts. They seem to say very similar things about what men want in a woman. Let’s start with a pulse.

Now, I’m being somewhat flippant because men do want a woman who takes good care of herself.  Especially over 45 or 50, they want to see you still have a sense of style and dress with a youthful look vs. frumpy. They want you to a little wear makeup to enhance what God gave you and promote that youthful glow.

But the real truth is, you don’t need to be super model thin. In fact, most men want a woman with some meat on her bones to squeeze and hold onto.

To Meet Men, Be Your Best Self

Yes, that’s it! I hope you feel some relief knowing this. You don’t need to torture yourself. You can stop that intense self-berating inner chatter right now because it’s just not valid. Women find love every day and they are not all super models with waist-length hair. But they are women who make the most of who they are and what they have.

If you wear flattering, stylish clothes, some make up and don’t choose a pixie haircut, you are 85% of the way there. Add confidence and mix it with a friendly, open attitude and you are at 99%! Just being friendly alone bumps you up near the top of the list since the majority of women won’t give men a chance.

As your dating coach, I tell you this to remind you that you are already good enough as is to meet men and find love. Just dress it up a bit, get out there and smile! And if you want a good laugh, read the excerpt from Dave’s contribution to The Better Bombshell

 

Understand Men: He Wants to Put All His Eggs in One Basket with Me

Need help to better understand men?

Many single women do! This reader wrote in about a confusing situation with a new guy she met online. Read on to see how I helped her.

Hey Ronnie – The Dating Coach for women 40+

understand men, find love, dating coach

Understand men: don’t put all your eggs in his basket too quickly

Please help me understand men!  I started talking to a guy, who made the first connection online for about 2 weeks. We talked about 3-4 times during that time before we went our first date last Friday. We had our date in which he traveled about an hour to come see me, had dinner, went downtown to walk around and went to a club.

He paid, was very polite including opening doors,paying compliments, kissing my hand and cheek. But when he went for an actual kiss, I told him let’s wait.

On the date and online he was adamant about only “putting his eggs in one basket” and looking for a relationship. He said he wanted to get together again, to which I agreed. Well we parted ways, I asked him to call me to ensure that he got home and he did.

The next day he called a few times, I finally responded back. Starting Sunday, all of a sudden we weren’t talking as much. When he texted me I would text back, but I don’t know why all of a sudden we aren’t talking. My mind has me wondering now. He seems to go on the website  everyday, but he said he only wanted to deal with one lady. I just don’t  understand men.

I am to the point where since we have not had a real conversation and he has not made any concrete plans, I’m thinking he may not be interested any more?! Or maybe he’s dating someone else?

He is studying for a graduate entrance exam, and I know he works everyday, but is he really that busy? He calls/texts me every morning but literally he called me, and I called back. He texted me, “Hey missed your call again, what’s up?”

What should I think of all this? Am I being strung along? Please help!

Thanks Ronnie,
Basket Woman

Dear Basket Woman,

I can’t say for sure, but I can give you my gut reaction to help you understand men.

I don’t believe a man when he says “one woman right away” without ever meeting. That is often a “Rush to Bed” strategy for men. Some guys tell women what they want to hear to get into their pants faster. This could be his method. So, my bet is “liar liar pants on fire”. He has no intention of focusing on one woman. Since his strategy didn’t work with you, perhaps he has cooled and/or moved on.

I can see why you feel like he is stringing you along with his texting and phone call evasion tricks. It’s hard to understand men and why they do this. But I can tell you that a man who has decided you are “the one”, doesn’t stop calling and doesn’t keep aggressively looking online.

Maybe the texting makes him feel good since he’s likely in contact with several women at the same time. That could be a great ego boost as he scans for women who will jump into bed with him.

As a dating coach for women, this is what I recommend. Don’t date one man! Date around until one man you like asks you to be exclusive. Never agree to this on or before the first date. I wouldn’t narrow your options until you’ve had at least 4-6 maybe 10 dates with the same guy who is consistent, true to his word, follows through as promised, treats you well, has similar values and you enjoy your  time together.

If you want to understand men better, I suggest you become a member of my Inner Circle which features monthly Q&A calls. Plus, there are 20 recorded  expert interviews among other benefits. It’s all for a nominal fee of just $19.97 a month.

Learn more about group dating coaching in the Inner Circle here to see if it’s for you.

xoxox,
Ronnie

 

 Photo  Credit: Watt Publishing

 

 

Dating Advice: Why Do You Want to Meet “Unqualified” Men?

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Dating Advice- Where Should I Meet Men?

Are you seeking dating advice on how to meet more men? Read on…

This week I sent out an email sharing eight places to meet single men. Here’s the video link. But I didn’t recommend traditional places were you can find singles. Instead, I suggested other places where you are bound to meet men, but won’t be sure they are single. I called these men “unqualified” for that very reason – they don’t qualify as single, but they might be.

One of my readers sent me back an email asking me, “Why on earth would I want to meet “unqualified” men? I want to meet qualified bachelors.”

There are actually four reasons (maybe more) why, as a single woman in midlife, you want to know where to find men in general.

My dating advice to meet men and why you want them to be qualified and unqualified:

1. Men Aren’t Joiners – As men get older, they tend to be less socially active. Not all men, but the majority. That’s why you see so few men at singles events. There is often a 60/40 or sometimes 70/30 ratio of women to men. The reason? Men don’t join things at the same rate as women do.

So when my dating advice often includes places like singles dances, speed dating (which requires an equal male/female ration), Meetup.com groups, etc.  However, women go and then complain there aren’t enough men at these events. BINGO! That’s why you want to be able to meet unqualified men as well to make sure you meet enough men to find the right one for you.

Matchmakers have the same problem in getting men to join up and most have the same 70/30 ratio which is why so many women get angry with their matchmaker. Not enough male inventory. Again the solution – meet men in other places.

2. Single Men Are Online – This is the one exception when it comes to men being willing to join things. They are online in droves, especially over 40. It just feels more private to them rather than having everyone at a singles event watching them interact with the ladies. I’m a big proponent of online dating for this very reason. But if you’ve been doing online dating, sometimes you want to mix things up or take a break. The solution – meet men in other places.

3. Flirting Face to Face is Fun – It’s a lot easier to flirt when you are face-to-face with men. To do that, you have to know where the men are! A lot of my clients don’t feel comfortable just going to a bar. That’s why I suggested boat and car shows, historical re-enactments, sports bars, driving ranges and golfing, among others to interact with men.

4. Anyone Could Be Your Magic Connection to Love – Plus, you never know who you will meet when you go out. You could meet a man who knows the perfect guy for you or a woman who knows someone. The more people you meet, the bigger your social circle, the better your chances of finding love. My last reason to meet unqualified men.

My Dating Advice – Meet Lots of Men

So there you have it, my best dating advice – meet lots of men. The more guys you meet, the more confident you become. Your skills improve and you start to relax. You take the pressure off yourself or any particular event because you know – there are always more men. There is always another event or place to find guys.

This is one circumstance where more is better. So go ahead, meet those unqualified guys. One of them could be your Mr. Right. Or he might know a guy for you. Don’t restrict yourself to one method because ultimately, it limits your opportunities when what you want most is to expand your chances to find love.

Want more dating advice or need the inspiration and methods to meet more men and find love?  Join my Love Mastermindwhich starts Monday march 11 at 8pm est. With monthly group coaching by phone and a private check-in, you ‘ll get the suppot ansd wisdom you need to find love faster than you can going it alone.  People who get coaching achieve their goals so much faster! Learn more here.

 

CT dating coach, Dating Coach CT,  Connecticut dating coach, CT singles

Dating Advice: Is It Easier to Stay Single Than Find Love?

Dating Advice for Single Women in Midlife

find love, date coach, dating coach, dating advice, midlife women

Dating Advice – Is it easier to stay single?

For some single women, they simply find it easier to be alone. You can go to sleep when you want and wake up when you’re ready. You can choose what kind of food to eat and when to eat it. You get to decide where to vacation, how to decorate your home and what to watch on TV.

There’s no compromising or arguing because you are in charge right? You are entitled to whatever makes you happy.

But what if you wish you had someone to share your life with? What if you want a man to snuggle with and kiss? What if you wanted someone to call in a moment
when only your lover will do?

Being single is absolutely a simpler easier way of life and is an acceptable choice – no question. However, if you want to be in a loving relationship, but are settling for the single life because its easier, is that being fair to yourself? Have you simply opted out of the dating pool because you don’t know where to start? Or maybe you’ve had it with men or dating?

My dating advice here is don’t give up hope!

Spring is coming – a time of year known for romantic stirrings that harken back to man’s more primitive days. Flowers start to blossom and romance can too. You know you want this. You know your heart yearns for that deep connection with a loving man who is supportive, funny and knows how to enjoy life.

As a dating coach for women, I want to ask you what will it take to move you into action? What will you require to permit yourself to find love? The best dating advice is to give your self permission to get on the road to discovery. Shift your patterns and attitudes with small tweaks that open up romantic options you may have never thought were possible before.

 If you just want to keep your life single, then I understand – looking for love is too much trouble. But if you are in the camp of wanting love, longing for the closeness of the right man, then my dating advice is that it’s time you allowed yourself to go for what you want. And one thing I know for sure as a dating coach is that the Group Coaching Program – The Love Mastermind can be a tremendous help!

Register now for The Love Mastermind, a six session (once a month) group coaching program conducted by phone that will get you moving, help you stay motivated and accountable so you can start meeting men and finding love. With monthly support from the group coaching call, and a short private session with me monthly as well, your love life will start rockin’ and rolling this spring. Throw the doors wide open to magnetically attract the love you deserve.

I’ll be there every step of the way to hold your hand, encourage you, inspire you and help you see the possibilities that have been yours but lying dormant until now. It all starts Monday, March 11 at 8pm est. from the comfort of your own home or any where you have a telephone.

Will you be there? Will you honor your true desires for love? As your dating coach, I sure hope you will. My dating advice is to learn more and register here now.

 

 

Understand Men: The Worst Thing You Can Do On A First Date

 

understand men, find love, dating coach, meet men

Understanding Men

Do you want to understand men better on a first date?

Do you know what the worst possible thing you could do when you meet a new guy is? As a dating coach, I’m going to tell you in this post so you never have to worry about making this self-sabotaging mistake again.

Let me give you the scenario so you can really see how this is such a problem. Maybe you are meeting a guy for a first coffee date – in the dating business this is called “Date Zero”. See it’s not really a date. Its a meeting to see if the two of you have enough in common and chemistry to go on a real first date.

OK, so you walk in at 7pm on a Tuesday night. You had tough day at work. The traffic on the way home stunk. Laundry is piling up at home along with a bunch of other things hanging over your head.

If you have kids, there’s homework and dealing with the babysitter. Or maybe your ex has the kids this night – that might make it a little easier if true.

You wanted to freshen up but who had time for that? What a day!

You walk into the place and look for the guy. After you spot him, you go over and sit down. Thankfully he asks what you want to drink and you order coffee or maybe a glass of wine to help you relax after such a busy day!

What do you talk about first? Perhaps he asks “How was your day?” And you start to tell him!

  • First this happened
  • Then your boss said
  • There was an accident on the express way
  • The copier was broken again and your computer has some stupid virus
  • Plus its month end and all these reports are do!
  • Whew, you tell him how crazy busy your life is

Understand Men: Know What His Red Flags About Women Are

Oh No! That’s when the sirens and buzzers go off in his head. Major red flags about you because its sounds to him like you are…

WAY TOO BUSY TO BE AVAILABLE TO DATE HIM!

 

That’s it – it only takes one thing like this and your chances dissolve under your nose. Even though he might not show it, he sits back more in his chair and relaxes. Not because he feels so at ease with you but because HE NO LONGER CARES.

Like so many men, he gets turned off when a woman opens up about how busy her life is and starts complaining during the very first conversation. It’s just not attractive, no matter how true this is about your life. I’m not saying you can’t talk about your life. But this is a first date right? You want to give him a good impression. You want him to think you’ve got your life together. You want him to think you are happy and easy to be with.

 But when you complain and talk about how busy your life is, what he hears is this:

  • “She has a lot of problems”
  • “Is this really her best?”
  • “She’s going to be hard to get together with”
  • “Ugh, this isn’t fun. I could be watching the game”
  • “She won’t have much time for me”
  • “Will I have to listen to this all the time?”
  • I don’t want to hear this – too bad, she’s really cute”

As a dating coach for women over 40, I want you to  understanding men and how they see you. Knowing how this works changes your dating experience because it puts you in control. In addition, I want you to be as open as possible so you don’t miss any chances of connecting with the right guy for you. This can happen so easily when you have limiting thoughts or attitudes that get in the way of finding love.

So many women are not even aware of
what is getting in their way of finding love

Do you know what might be keeping you from finding the love of your life? My bet is you are not fully in touch with it. You may have inklings. You may think it’s all about how the men today stink. You may think there just aren’t any good men or you don’t know where to find them. I have found in 11 years as a dating coach, the reasons probably go a bit deeper. That’s why I am offering this new, breakthrough program:

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Why Can’t I Find Love Group Coaching Program Starts 2/25/13

Why Can’t I Find Love?  

My New 6 Session Group Coaching Program 

Work with me and let’s figure out exactly what is going on so you can find the love you deserve. This powerful program has been carefully designed to help you eliminate any potential blocks to love, start the healing process and then ready yourself for the love you deserve.     

Nicole had a great experience with my workshop and after… 

“Ronnie is wonderful! She broke down my resistance to opening my heart to love and did it in a funny way, so that I could laugh at myself rather than feel bad or condemn myself. I had lot of limiting ideas I didn’t even realize were getting in my way. After her workshop and applying her advice methods, I found my soul mate! Ronnie is positive and encouraging – I would recommend her to any woman looking for love.” 

To get the details and register, click the link Why Can’t I Find Love?

3/11 – The Love Mastermind – Group Coaching by Phone

Do you want to find love, but can’t seem to take the steps on your own?

The Love Mastermind is a powerful group formulated to support you and like-minded single women with your goal of finding love. You gain access to smart midlife dating methods, inspiration and accountability to get you meeting men!

Masterminds produce amazing results so much faster than going it alone. Getting support from a dating coach and others helps you stay motivated, active and persevere to propel you forward.

Here are 10 amazing benefits of participating in the Love Mastermind:

  1. Feel inspired to mingle and meet men
  2. Learn the best places to meet men
  3. Amplify your MANifesting power to attract “The One”
  4. Understand how to leverage your feminine charm
  5. Create deadlines rather than holding off for some future time
  6. Celebrate successes big and small
  7. Enjoy the support of single women rooting for you
  8. Share your fears and hopes to get the support and suggestions you need
  9. Find out how other women are finding success
  10. Be held accountable to follow through on what you say you will do

Conference calls are held one Monday night a month for six months at 8pm est. The first call is March 11th.

You can find love in midlife if you don’t go it alone or wait another day

Click here for more details and Register Now for The Love Mastermind