Dating Over 40: Stop Looking at Me!

Yesterday, one of my clients complained about men who look at her.  These are men she isn’t thrilled with.  She wanted to know how to get them to stop looking at her "like that."

I explained that if she really thinks about it – she wants them to look.  The last thing you want is for no men to look at you, right?  When men look at women, they acknowledge your attractiveness, your allure, your beauty.  Otherwise they wouldn’t be looking.

Now I realize you might not like all the guys who look at you, or the way they look at you.  So what?  Honestly ,what can you do about that?  Be angry and tell the guy to "buzz off?" I’m not sure that’s productive.

Instead – why not appreciate the fact that these men are appreciating you?  It’s the truth.  You don’t have to talk to them, date them or marry them.  But you can be thankful for the evidence of your attractiveness they have shared with you.

OK, this may sound silly. But one thing I can tell you for sure, is that when you are thankful (internally not verbally) you send out a message of thanks to the Universe.  And that is very attractive and highly magnetic.  Think of Sarah Bernbach’s book, Simple Abundance – she’s all about being grateful.

Well guess, what – the grateful attitude works here too. And I have many clients who agree.

So the next time a man looks you up and down and you get angry or skeevy, think again.  Remember this is evidence of your allure. Say thank you in your mind and walk away feeling really good about yourself.  After all, some guy would be darn lucky to be dating you.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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