Dating After Divorce Advice
Are you ready to start dating after divorce? The first thing that can help you decide is to determine how open you are.
- Is your heart open and free to love another?
- Are you open to meeting new men and finding one who is right for you?
- Do you appreciate men and what they have to offer?
If you have answered these questions with a “Yes” congratulations! You are ready to get out there, meet, mingle and have fun. That’s a great place to be. With a positive outlook on your chances of finding love, your magnetic pull is likely strong and vibrant.
Many of my dating coaching clients did not take the time to ask themselves these questions before embarking on the dating journey. Truth is, you can start any time. However, your results are directly correlated with your attitude. They are a reflection of your openness. Dating works best once you get yourself into a positive, open place.
If you still feel resentment and anger about your ex…
If you still love your ex…
If you are unsure about your own lovability…
Then you might need to do a bit more healing in order to connect with quality men.
Please don’t feel bad about this. Where you are is perfect. Taking the time to heal, build confidence, and create a healthy positive self-image to ensure your success is very smart dating strategy. You’ll have far more enjoyable experiences when you are in a good space.
Start Dating After Divorce with an Open Mind and Heart
Once you take care of your own needs, then you are ready to starting dating again! Please don’t look for a man to solve all your problems. That will not likely bring you the healthy, lasting love you seek. How many women do you know who try this method to feel better about themselves? Have you seen it work? Have you tried covering up your pain with a new love? Not the best idea.
Here are three things you can do to build inner strength, reclaim your power as a woman, and get ready to start dating after divorce:
1. Focus on self care.
This can include pampering, energetic healing work, therapy, read self help books, get back into shape with a trainer or exercise on your own, have a make-over, work with an image consultant. etc. You don’t have to do all of these things – choose the ones that will make the biggest impact for you.
2. Notice your inner chatter about men.
Do you criticize every man you see walking down the road? Or do you notice anything good about the guys you pass by? If you have an active inner critic of men, follow up by working to notice something good about the men too. This might take some practice, but its a very worthwhile effort because it changes you mindset dramatically, opening you to the idea that many men have good qualities.
3. Take the Pressure off.
Right out of the gate, just take the pressure off yourself. Instead of hoping to meet Mr. Wonderful immediately, why not just meet new people? Get used to being friendly and social. Build your mingling skills. Be open to simply enjoying the people you meet and having fun!
This is so important because when you pressure yourself to meet the right man right away, you may be missing out on the good guys. Many prospects who aren’t the players or have the smooth talking charm, can easily get overlooked, but will probably be much better matches.
Give these suggestions a try and watch how your dating life improves. Feel good about yourself, know good men are out there and start connecting with the quality guys you deserve.
Wishing you love,
p.s. If you’re not ready to start dating after divorce, don’t worry. The more gentle you are with yourself, the more easily this will turn around.
Photo Credit: Lee and Chatelle McArthur