Single at the Holidays: Having Fun or Feeling Lonely?

Single for New Year's

I was reading an article in Sunday’s CT Post entitled, “Still mingling during the holidays”.  The piece talked about three women who went to a local holiday singles dance. The attitudes they expressed were amazingly positive, stating that they got dressed up, went to a festive event and were going to enjoy themselves whether or not they met any decent men. You go girls! Now that’s an attitude that will get you places!

Next, the writer, Mary Ellen Godin, spoke to a friend of mine, Tina AuClair, who runs the Connecticut ConTacts dances. Tina herself met her long-time husband at a singles dance and has been running the events all around southern CT for years. Even I went to those dances back in the 90’s when I was single.

Tina feels strongly that people who are over 40 probably do not experience the same familial pressure that younger folks do at holiday time. From my personal experience, I must agree. At some point, my family just stopped asking. When I started dating again after my 40th birthday, it did create a bit of a stir, but no pressure. My family had given up on me finding a husband.

Mary Ellen did contact a website Ive never heard of to ask them for some holiday singles statistics. Turns out that women start to push harder to find a date while men tend to down grade their efforts. This is not new news for a dating coach like me and probably not for most singles either. The spokesperson did manage to blame grandmothers for pressuring younger single women to find someone. I remember those days when my grandmother asked me if I met any new boys back in my 20’s. Gotta love her.

So what’s the verdict? Do you find ways to enjoy being single at the holidays? After all, there’s no visit with the in-laws to drag you down. That sometimes really is a blessing isn’t it? You can go where you want, spend time with who you choose, or curl up on the couch with a juicy, new book . Freedom at the holidays has significant benefits.

Or, do you hunker down and hide, succumbing to the deep longing for a loving partnership that deepens during the holidays? I hope not. I hope you find ways to enjoy the season, the social opportunities, the festivities that come just once a year. After all, you never know who you might meet – AND who those people might know.

As your dating coach, if I get a vote, I hope you take advantage of the season’s parties and activities. I remember being single and having the time of my life at holidays where I visited several friends through out the day, party hopping and feeling like a celebrity. My husband is a one-party-a-day type of guy, so those days are over.

Some say the secret to enjoying life is to be happy where you are – but still look forward to achieving your goals. That is the trick. If you can be happy where you are, you can be happy any where and any time. This is what I’m working on myself.

And that’s my New Year’s wish for you – that you should feel happy with yourself and still look forward to that time when you meet the man of your dreams andeverything that means. There are good sides to both places. Why not enjoy both?

 Photo Credit: Thai Jasmine

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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