My online dating tips for women today are about the best dating sites and dating apps. Which ones should you use to find the love you want?
I often recommend very few of these sites since experience tells me that the biggest sites are the best. And online dating tips for women over 40 are different than for younger gals in their 20s. My favorites are most likely what you’d expect.
Match
Bumble
Hinge
Zoosk (especially out west)
ChristianMingle
Jdate
Online Dating Advice
If you are serious about finding love, online dating is the best tool to starting dating quickly, especially over 40. You want to find the biggest pools of single people and the top four sites are the most populated by far.
You have probably noticed that I left a couple of the big players out from the list above. I didn’t include the free sites like OKCupid or Plenty of Fish. If you are serious about finding love, the paid sites are a better opportunity.
Also, I’m not a fan of eHarmony for two reasons:
- The site asks too many questions and most men over 40 can’t be bothered with this many details which means they have fewer men than other sites. I know this is true from so many of my clients who get long-distance matches because the site has no local matches for them.
- Their complicated communication process with too many predetermined questions rather than just getting to know each other. (It might be possible to bypass this process now.)
Sometimes in large cities this site can still be a good option. New York apparently has a good number of men using eHarmony. If you live in a more progressive area where the men are a bit more introspective, it’s possible that it’s worth giving the site a try. I’ve also heard the site is great for 30 and under.
Some women insist on using this site, which is fine as long as you don’t get frustrated and assume all online dating doesn’t work for you. If you have a bad experience, try another site!
Online Dating Sites and Dating Apps Review
I found this great review of online dating sites and they went through several dating sites and dating apps. They list eHarmony first – not one of my favorites, then Match.com, OKCupid, Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Elite Singles, Facebook and more. There are also some great safety tips at the end of the reviews – scroll down to see them.
And here’s a post on how to start a conversation on Bumble.
They based their review on 200+ hours of research, they used 20 sources, vetted 11 companies, and reviewed five features on the site that was most likely to help you find a compatible match. They looked at some of these factors to review the sites:
- Matching
- Profile Customization
- Interfacing Features
- Privacy and Security
- Inclusivity
Other criteria that would have been helpful but, perhaps they didn’t have access to the data would be:
- Geographic skew – some sites like Zoosk are better out west than on the east coast.
- Number of people on the sites – for example, eHarmony as mentioned is low on men 40+ on the east coast
- Accuracy of algorithms
- Quality of messages received by users
It’s a pretty good review of how each site works and worth the read. You’ll pick up some online dating tips for women to help you choose the best site for you.
It’s been said that Match.com and eHarmony do produce the most marriages vs. the hookup culture of a site like OKCupid. (This site has a bunch of questions about sexual preferences but, you do not have to answer them and most people don’t!)
Online Dating Tips for Women
When it comes to eHarmony’s claims about their amazing matching algorithm, I’m not so sure. Maybe it depends on your age and location. Several of my love and dating coaching clients have been told by the site they are not “matchable” but it likely was based on not having enough male inventory in their areas.
So, if you are thinking about online dating or are already participating and considering changing sites, this review of the sites will be extremely helpful!
Remember, write a profile that sets you apart from other women. Stay upbeat and friendly in your text. Be positive and try to capture your personality.
In addition, your photos are the most important element since men are so visual. So, check out this post with my 15 tips for fabulous photos.
Wish you had a dating profile that got the right kind of attention? Check out my Digital Dating Makeover!
Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.
Thank you Ronnie, I’ll let you know how it goes. I did talk to him on Tuesday night sort of by mistake! I was actually mortified when I picked up my phone to call my mother and out of the recent phone calls listed on the screen, somehow my thumb hit his number and dialed it! I’m truly at a loss for how this happened, but it did, and nothing I could do but hang up! I stressed over it for awhile and about 20 minutes later he called saying he was outside and when he came in he saw that I had called. After explaining the faux pas (he laughed about it) we did have a nice conversation for half an hour or so. He did mention the meeting on the first again and I said yes, that works for me. He said he will take the ferry over (we planned to meet halfway as he is a ferry and then 45-hour drive to where I live) and he mentioned a few restaurants near the water. I said I was fine with whatever he decided. He then said he would call me as we get closer with time and location. We ended the conversation with him saying he was glad I had mistakenly called him, it was nice to get to know me a little better and looking forward to the first. So now it’s back to the waiting game….
Hi Ronnie, I recently met a man online almost 2 weeks ago who approached me first. He lives in another town about 4 hours away but will be back closer to where I live in a few weeks for the summer. After several message exchanges on the dating site, he has called twice but only texted once to say he sincerely enjoyed talking to me. Then he contacted me asking if I’d be available to meet for lunch on June 1. I agreed but no time or place has been set. This was on Friday. He asked if I would be available for a phone call on Sunday night and called. We talked for awhile, seem to have a lot in common and he mentioned that he was excited to meet me on the 1st, but again no time or location was established. I cut the conversation off after about 20 minutes and he said he would be in touch but added that I could “feel free” to text him. We are both in our 60s (he tells me he is earnestly looking for his last love and not for something casual). He appears to be sincere but who knows? He did not text me after our phone call and so far not today. I’m thinking I shouldn’t text him and should wait for him to text or call again. Wondering what your take is? Thank you!
Hi Pamela, Here’s how you deal with a man who makes vague dates. You ask, ‘Where will we meet on June 1st and what time?” If he doesn’t give you an answer or makes excuses, just stop communicating. He knows where to find you should he want to keep the date. In addition, my advice is to not wait around for any man who acts like this. This is why you want to be interacting with several men at the same time. You just don’t know who will show up, follow up or ask you out a gain. So the best thing you can do is hedge your bests and be talking with as many men as are interested. Even if taht’s three or four. Most disappear quickly so there is little risk. And you are not intimate – you are just getting to know the ones who actually show up to date you. It’s a great strategy and it keeps your search moving. Assume most all men are seeing other women too during that beginning “get to know you” phase.
I had never heard of OkCupid until I read the review that you talk about in this article, so I decided to try it. I’m a 58-year-old widow, who’s veteran of online dating — I was online for about a year and a half in 2011-12, and I got pretty good at spotting scammers and fakes. And I can tell you that within the first 4 days of being on OkCupid, I received over a hundred messages from men, only ten percent of which were from real guys. Of those, there were perhaps 3 that were both age-appropriate and geographically reasonable, and one of those was bipolar. This site is a much bigger pain in the back pockets than it’s worth, and I’m considering abandoning that ship — and I haven’t been on it a week yet. You might want to revise your recommendation.
Hi Donna,
Thanks for your feedback. So much of the results depend on age and geography. But the review I was talking about is brand new. They do say OK Cupid was better for getting dates fast and Match was better for more serious relationship hunting. So feel free to abandon ship – its a free site so no loss!