How to Not Take Dating So Seriously for Women Over 40

Wish you knew how to NOT take dating so seriously? Discover several tips to help you relax and enjoy the process more so you find love with less drama.

how to not take dating so seriouslyToo Serious about Dating?

Are you one of those women who feel nervous or intense about dating? Each date is a very big deal. You put your energy into texting and the phone call. You spend a lot of time getting ready for the first date. During all these phases you try to qualify each guy to see if he has real potential and make sure you don’t waste your time

Then when things go wrong you take it kind of hard. The disappointment tends to brings you down about dating, yourself and your prospects to find love with the right man.You become even more uncertain of ever finding love again.

Sometimes your heart gets bruised by the bumpy road of dating. You decide you need time off to recover, which makes things even harder to get started again later.

You might be surprised to hear this but these are signals you are taking dating way too seriously!

I understand how hard dating is – I won’t deny or sugar coat it. Finding love takes work. But it also can be more fun than you think is possible. Let me share a few proven strategies that will make a difference in your dating life and help you lighten up!

1.Remember It’s Just a Date!

For a successful first date, take the pressure off! You want to relax so you appear confident and at your very best which increases your appeal to men. To accomplish this I suggest you try to relax. It’s just one date and you won’t die if it doesn’t work out.

Whether the guy doesn’t ask you a single question, is a total jerk or never calls again, so what? Think  about it – you are over-valuing an hour or 90-minutes out of one day of your life! Keep this date in perspective to get through it and the next too.

A first date is nothing more than a sorting process to see if you both feel the other person is worth seeing again. That’s it. If he doesn’t want to see you again – there are plenty more men! Stop making such a big deal out of every first date – it’s exhausting makes dating too emotionally draining.

2. Give the Men Nicknames

When I was dating to find love, sometimes I was seeing up to three or four guys at a time. I followed this strategy since I never knew which man would call and ask me out again. It was hard but it was also fun!

One thing I noticed was sharing these stories with my girlfriends got really confused! At one point I was dating three men named John. No kidding. So I gave them nicknames to make them easier to identify.

One worked for the post office so his nickname was easy – The Postman. One was older than the others so I called him Old John. And the third loved to play tennis so he was Tennis Guy.

This did more than make it easy to tell stories. The nicknames helped me separate from the men  emotionally so I felt more relaxed. How could I take dating so seriously when my date was Tennis Guy? it worked for me and this strategy will work for you.

3. Date Multiple Men

Like most single women, I tended to over think the guys I met. If I was only dating one man, then all my attention went to him. This caused me to get prematurely attached to men who had not proven themselves to me as having real romantic partner potential.

That’s why dating more than one man at a time was a tremendous help! I dated any man who asked me that fit my Mr. Right Blueprint. So I went out with multiple men during a week and that prevented me from overthinking about any one guy!

Instead of fretting over when a man would ask me out again, I improved my odds of finding a compatible man by juggling several at the same time. And it sure made dating a heck of a lot more fun too.

How Not to Take Dating So Seriously – 3 Strategies to Lighten Up!

So there you have it – three powerful and proven methods that work like a charm to help you relax and lighten up about dating. When you follow this advice to keep each date in perspective, assign nicknames and date multiple men, you will be on track to find love with the right man.

Whether you are just starting to date or you’ve been dating for a while, this will shift your results and put you in a more positive place. You cannot go wrong following these three simple steps.

If’ you’ve felt frustrated, confused, at wit’s end, not knowing where to turn r how to figure this out, try my dating advice. these tips for how not to take dating so seriously will help you stay on the path to finding the love you dream of with a wonderful man who will cherish you.

Want more smart but simple dating advice like this? Download my book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Keep You Single. Or get a Free Dating Discovery Session with me by phone or Skype to find out if coaching is right for you. Just fill out the application to get started.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

3 thoughts on “How to Not Take Dating So Seriously for Women Over 40”

  1. Thanks a million, Ronnie!
    I will Facebook friend him after I talk to him again. If his stuff aggravates me, I will unfollow him so I don’t see his stuff anymore.

  2. Hi Ronnie,

    Thank you so much for your wonderful blog! I am working my way through the archives and it makes me happy and optimistic just to read your advice!

    Not sure if I’m overthinking this one…there’s a guy I like at church, and we’ve just started flirting, even though we’ve known each other peripherally for a long time. (We got divorced from our respective spouses about 4 years ago.)

    Now, I’ve only flirted and not-chased! But, would it be OK to Facebook friend him? Or is that aggresive?



    • Hi Robin,
      Friending on Facebook isn’t aggressive so you could do that. But something to think about…If the flirting never matures will you feel aggravated? If yes, then don’t friend him. Then you’ll have to look at what he’s up to all the time. So why get started? Or you could friend him and just unfriend later if things don’t go the way you want them to. It’s up to you.

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