Dating Over 40: My Friends Attract Men at Events – Why Do I Have to Work to Meet Men?


Dear Ronnie,

I invited two friends to a big holiday bash last week and I was surprised at how things went. For some reason, my two friends just sort of stood around and smiled and men came up to them. Sally really hit it off with one guy who promised to call and Jen gave her number to several men. Too bad that doesn’t work for me. How come it seems like I have to work the room to meet men? What am I doing wrong that makes it seem so effortless for them?

Working Hard in Washington

Dear Working Hard,

I often advise clients not to compare themselves to others for this very reason. It may look easy for them, but you’d have to find out if the men panned out before you should waste any time feeling jealous of the ease with which they meet men.

The reasons why their method may seem so much easier than yours are numerous. Perhaps your friends have their "love lights on" (page 48 in MANifesting Mr. Right) Maybe they are natural born flirts and are strongly connected to their feminine allure. Perhaps it was just the luck of the night? It’s hard to determine based on the amount of information I have. So I’m going to take a different approach.

You mention that meeting men seems like work. If this is your mindset as you walk into a party, it’s no wonder that it feels like a lot of effort. This is a perfect demonstration of how the Law of Attraction works. You think meeting men is hard work – and that is what manifests! The trick is to change your mindset about "working the room."

What if you could meet new guys in the same effortless manner as your friends? How would that feel? What would your actions be like to make that happen? What signals would you be telegraphing to the Universe and single men as you walk into a party? What non-verbal communication and body language would support this process?

Next time you are attending a social event, try this experiment. Before you leave your home of office, visualize how the party or event will go. Imagine that men walk up to you and introduce themselves. Get in touch with your feminine allure and do what is needed to heighten your presence. Emulate the attractive energy of your girlfriends – from body language and attitude to knowledge of how you attract men effortlessly.  Imagine that the night is fun and you meet people with ease and grace.

Also, please notice what has not been included in this visualization. Don’t focus on how "tonight’s the night!" Don’t determine if your night is successful or not based on meeting the right guy. Don’t create an image of connecting with someone special – either as a concept or with a specific person. These ideas are too specific and get in the way of the Universe working for you. If you are using the Law of Attraction to attract the right man – that’s a separate exercise and not to be combine with this one. Requesting the qualities you want in the right man for you is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t expect to meet him next weekend. See the difference?

If you practice this new process, I guaranteed that it will become easier and easier for you to meet men at parties. You will lighten your energy and set yourself up as someone who is attractive. As you adopt that energy and spend more time with it, you will automatically become more magnetic like your girlfriends.

Smile and have fun knowing you are an attractive and alluring woman who men naturally want to meet.

Wishing you love,


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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