Rather than picking apart the two millionaires Patti had on the show last night, I want to talk about the dark-haired chef that both men chose initially for their mini-dates. I wish I could remember her name but it escapes me, so for now I’ll call her Chefgirl. Let me share important dating tips from this over 40 dating coach.
Chefgirl has a great smile, beauty, knows how to cook and came across with confidence in teh first impression. Unfortunately, this fell apart in the first few minutes of her 10-minute mini-date with both Tyler and Justin.
With Justin, it wasn’t long before she started talking about her eating disorder from her teens brought on by her mother’s death. Totally tragic. But, this detail about her life has no place in the first few minutes of meeting someone new. Especially with a man you want to impress. You can share this info, but later when you have started to get to know each other. (Read more about this) When my over 40 dating coaching clients tell me about their dates, I always ask what they talked about at the first meeting for this very reason.
Patti checked in with Justin to see what he thought about Chefgirl and he told her – TMI – too much information and not pleasant or up beat. Patti then shared this feedback with Chefgirl between dates, telling her to talk about subjects. But, Chefgirl didn’t get it and she proceeded to bring up her mom’s death at the beginning of her next date with Tyler, the other millionaire.
OMG! I wish I could spend one hour with Chefgirl to do some sorely needed dating coaching – her dating life would dramatically improve. What a shame with so much going for her which is exemplified by both millionaires choosing right off the bat. Then she failed the next test and couldn’t get a second date.
If you recognize yourself in this, refrain from spilling your life history and sad stories for later. Tough topics have their place, but require a foundation of connection and some intimacy before you can get to that level of sharing. Instead, keep things light and happy and smile as the guys asks you for date number two.