Love Being Single or Avoiding Dating after 40?

You may love being single and feel completely satisfied with how things are going solo. But as the holidays creep up, do you dread questions from nosy family members about dating and marriage?

love being singleWhat Is So Hard to Understand that You Love Being Single or Dating Casually?

There are so many reasons why your choice to stay single makes so much sense:

  • Freedom to go where you want like vacations, dinner, movies
  • Decorate your home your way
  • Enjoy your hobbies or interests without limits
  • Keep your home neat or messy with no pressure to change
  • Finances are all in your hands
  • No additional stress from another person’s life or emotional status
  • Change your mind any time about life decisions
  • Never ask anyone’s permission to do or buy anything
  • No endless negotiations about everything under the sun

That’s a big list and there are plenty more. No one can argue with the enormous independence you gain from being single. Your time is your own. The world is your oyster and you can go anywhere or do anything your heart desires because it’s all up to you. There is no one to interfere or with whom you must compromise. Many women feel ecstatic about this autonomy and thrive as a result.

Does that describe your feelings about being single?

Maybe you are happy to simply go your own way, even if you aren’t always packing a bag for exotic travel. You are content with your work, friends, family and your own place. You feel incredibly satisfied with the simple life you have created. Low stress for you is the key to happiness. Being in control of how you live is your priority, and bringing another person into the mix offers little benefit as far as you are concerned. Good for you!

Whether you are living large, are more of a homebody, or something in between, you have every right to enjoy life as a single woman. You don’t need a man in your life regardless of what society, family or friends think. Tell everyone to mind their own business or don’t even respond to questions about looking for love because you are happy with your single status.

Love Being Single or Secretly Wishing for Love?

However, if you secretly wish you could find a life partner, but are staying single due to relationship or dating fears, then we should talk girlfriend. Yes, you may be keeping yourself safe, but you are not living your heart’s desire. That brings sadness to your soul and dampens your spirit.

When you see couples smiling sweetly and kissing, does that make you feel like you’ll always be alone and never find the one? Are you keeping yourself super busy or reading novels, hiding out, and not doing anything to find the love you want? Where is the fulfillment in that kind of living?

This is your life, not a dress rehearsal. Let’s figure out how to get what you really want rather than make do without. If you quietly dream of sharing your life with the right man, consider the following suggestions:

1. Ask Your Family to Fix You Up. When your family and friends confront you about your love life, ask if they know anyone to fix you up with. Leverage your network to meet new people and get dates.

2. Attend Holiday Parties with a New Attitude. Be friendly and start conversations with new people rather than talking only to those you already know. No hiding in corners or against the wall and leaving early.

3. Smile at Men While Shopping. While you are out in the world shopping for holiday gifts, say hello to a man and make his day (and yours!). You never know who you might meet.

4. Attend Holiday Singles Events. With 50% of the U.S. adult population single, there are plenty of others who want to meet and mingle this time of year.

5.  Join a Dating Site. There are over 40 million singles online looking to fall in love. Take advantage of the number one way singles over 50 meet and the number two method for everyone else. More than 20% of all relationships now start on the web.

6. Be More Positive.  Work on your outlook to find a more positive position on finding love. What you focus on often comes to pass. So if you only think about being lonely and staying single you are likely to get that. But if you start to believe you can find the right man for you that will open up possibilities.

The single life can be absolutely fabulous. But if underneath it all, you are acting like you love being single, but actually crave the affection of a loving man, please takes steps to make that a reality. Love is completely possible when dating after 40, and it’s up to you to make it happen.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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