Dating Over 40: Lacking Motivation? Get a Dating Buddy!


During the last group coaching session of the spring series, one of my clients, Isabel has been struggling with staying motivated. She finds so many reasons to not go to events or worse, signing up for things, but not following through to attend. This pattern has really been keeping her from sticking with her dating action plan to get out there, meet men and be seen. And, it’s really is at odds with her goal to find love.

Does this ring any bells for you?
As she talked about this during the call, Isabel realized that in the past when she had been actively dating, the key to her success was her girlfriend Rhonda. They had been dating buddies, going to events together, encouraging each other and providing support on the journey. Isabel missed having Rhonda to share the experience with, since it had been enormously helpful in her last go around.
Sometimes she just didn’t feel like going out. or maybe she’d had a bad day and didn’t want to redo her makeup for a night out. Or maybe her attitude had slipped into the negative zone which wasn’t serving her. That’s when Rhonda would be a great dating buddy, jumping in to help Isabel keep her promises to herself! And in turn, Isabel did the exact same thing for Rhonda.
It’s simple human nature to backslide. It’s easier to do nothing than to forge ahead. And, the urge to resist seems very prevalent in the dating world for women today. There are so many other things you could be doing that might seem like more fun, or to cross off your list and be productive.  Unfortunately, avoidance won’t move you any further towards your goal of finding the love you want. That’s why having a buddy is such a powerful strategy for staying the course regarding your dating life.
Back to the group coaching call. We all discussed possible solutions which became very obvious – Isabel needed a new dating buddy! With Rhonda off the market so to speak, she needed to recruit another "partner in crime." It didn’t take long for her to think of another girlfriend who might be willing.
But what if you don’t have a single friend available for this supportive role? Then it’s time to meet some new women. There are several ways you can do this quite easily. Attend singles events and when there aren’t enough men, go meet the women!
for example, speed dating is a great way to find new female friends. There is usually a mid-point break for mingling which makes it easy to meet people. If none of the men interest you, look for a woman who seems friendly. You aren’t the only one who could use a dating buddy, believe me. So approaching another woman won’t even seem strange. If you have to, think of it as misery loves company – but try to take a more positive angle. I can’t tell you how many women have made new best friends at speed dating events!
Another great option is single gourmet events. This type of program naturally attracts more women than men, so now you’ll be meeting lots of single women who like what you do – good food and wine. If you attend one of these events and start feeling disappointed that the men are slim pickin’s, just shift gears and look for female companionship.
If you’re serious about finding love, the support system of a dating buddy can make a tremendous difference in your stamina and results. And another girlfriend is always a wonderful expansion to life. Get out there to meet new people, enjoy each person for his/her individual charm, and find the love you want and deserve!

By the way, the Summer Session fo group caochng starts Sunday night June 1st. Five fantastic sessions of inspiring and motivating group coaching packed with time-tested and proven tips, suggestions and ideas that deliver! Register now!

For more powerful strategies to help along your journey and show you how to adopt the best mindset for dating success, pick up a copy of MANifesting Mr. Right. The first section of the book reveals lots of methods to keep yourself motivated. And if you have difficulty believing that you can find love, get the audio program I Believe which provides affirmations to re-train your subconscious mind that love is possible for you. These are hard-working tools worth their weight in gold.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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