I Want to Meet Him In Person But We Only Talk Or Text

You think, “I want to meet him in person,” but it doesn’t happen. What’s going on with men who hold off and how can you change this?

You Want Him To Meet You In Person

texting is fun but I want to meet himAre you texting and talking to a man for weeks or months, but can’t seem to get him to meet you in person? You think, “I want to meet you,” and wonder why it’s not happening.

This is such a common problem. Many women have been in this frustrating, no-win situation. My clients always want to understand why this occurs and feel attached to the men they’ve gotten to know by phone and text. Often, the only thing they can think about is, “I want to meet him in person!”

Below, I share my dating advice with a woman who wrote about this very issue. She knows this situation isn’t good for her and wants help disengaging.

Should I End This Relationship?

“Dear Love Coach Ronnie,

I met this man through an online site. We have been texting and talking on the phone for six months.  Several dates were planned, but canceled (due to his work and mine).

I feel comfortable talking with him and he always initiates the calls. I can tell he is a smart guy. We can talk for hours from one topic to another including sex, and he even shares his fantasy of being with me.

When I am confused or upset, he supports me through calls or texts. I want to meet him in person and he says, “I want to meet you in person too.” But he also says he prefers knowing me bit by bit, talking for hours on the phone. One day, he says, we will meet up.

I Want to Meet Him in Person

via GIPHY

All in all, he is a nice person. But, I know that this will not be healthy in the long run. How should I tell him that this “fantasy” relationship between me and him should stop?

I feel that ignoring his calls and texts is not the proper way, since we have good relationship and respect each other.

I kindly need your advice and input, Ronnie.

Thank you so much.
Hoping to Meet Him”

Why Doesn’t He Ask Me Out?

how long should I wait to meet himDear Hoping,

Let me help you with understanding men.

The first thing is that you have to realize you are NOT in a real relationship, so it’s not “good.” This virtual connection does offer you some emotional support, but will never get beyond the fantasy of romance.

The difficult truth is he is wasting your time. Don’t think for one moment this smart guy doesn’t know it. You stay because you keep thinking, “I want to meet him in person” and hope it happens someday.

Don’t you wonder why he continues to talk to you when he knows he’ll never meet you? And,  “Why doesn’t he ask me out?” I bet it would help to know his true intention.

What Are His Intentions?

If you decide to talk to him about this, I guarantee he’ll say he HAS good intentions. If you say, “I want to meet you,” he’ll promise to meet you in person soon. But that will just be more meaningless words to keep you in his game.

He knows you want more, but he’s stringing you along by getting his needs met by phone. His needs include friendship, emotional support, romance, and sexual fantasy. There may be others as well.

On the other hand, you are not getting your needs met, because YOU WANT MORE. He knows this, so is he being honest or respectful with you? Not really.

Think about it logically for a moment and put your heart aside. That’s the best way to understand men. Why would a man want to talk on the phone and text for more than six months and not meet you?

Enough texting I want to meet youReasons Why He Keeps This Going

  • He’s married or in a relationship but doesn’t want to cheat physically
  • He doesn’t want the responsibility of a genuine relationship
  • He prefers to avoid any expectations on your part
  • He enjoys being totally in charge and keeping you wanting more
  • He’s not emotionally available beyond phone chats
  • He doesn’t look like his photo and knows you wouldn’t go for him if you saw him
  • He prefers a fantasy life vs. real life because he’s maladjusted in some way

I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea, right?

If this man wanted to date you or meet you in person, he would done so by now.

He is using you and taking advantage of your good nature for emotional support and sexual fantasy. You might think that if he’s texting and talking to you, he must like you. But that doesn’t mean he wants a genuine relationship.

Think about Yourself First, Not Him

Look at how much time you have already invested and wasted with this man, hoping he’ll meet you in person. More than six months! You’ve given your heart away to a man who will NEVER meet you, kiss you, or be HONEST with you.

Unfortunately, it’s time to acknowledge this NOW and STOP texting and talking to him. Even if you demanded, “I want to meet you now!” he wouldn’t comply.

You owe him NOTHING because you’ve given him everything. You’ve spent enough time dreaming about how I want to meet him in person. But it’s not going to happen with this man, ever.

Text with Men Who Want to Meet You

what are his true intentions if he only texts meOnce you start meeting men in person and going on dates, this guy will fade into the background.

And if you encounter another guy who avoids dates and you start thinking, “I want to meet him in person” that’s your signal to ditch the guy FAST and move on.

If you want to find the real thing, you can’t waste time waiting around for some man to “get ready.”

Rule of Thumb for When to Meet

A good rule of thumb for how long to give a guy to meet you in person is 7-10 days. That’s it! Any man who needs more time is not actually available.

It might be he’s not available emotionally or geographically or his life is too full for love to be a priority. Each of these situations are red flags that he’s the wrong guy, if you want lasting love.

You Deserve Real Love

I know it’s not easy to let go, but thankfully you’ve already figured out this is unhealthy.

You deserve the whole enchilada: a man who wants to spend time with you, hug and kiss you, laugh and hold hands, spend time with friends, go to dinner and make love.

If you can’t shut him off cold turkey, then text him and say, you’ve decided to move on since he won’t meet you. Then you have to be BRAVE and block him.

I guarantee he will keep after you as long as you let him. He’ll never let go of the good thing you are in his life. You have to shut it down and make yourself the priority. In this case your happiness is all that matters.

Wishing you love,

why does he come and go

 

 

Want to learn more how to find a good man who wants lasting love? Get my Free book 5 Surefire Ways to Attract a Quality Guy

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

164 thoughts on “I Want to Meet Him In Person But We Only Talk Or Text”

  1. Hi Ronnie, I’ve been talking to this man over text for awhile.He wants to have a relationship and I’ve told him Id prefer to meet in person before getting into a relationship. we video chat for a few seconds (really a few seconds.) and he calls and texts, but I feel like an in person meet is necessary. When I mentioned I wouldn’t date him until we met in person he gotten upset and said he was wasting his time. Is that a sign?

    Reply
    • Hi Tiki, Sorry to say but YES, that’s a very bad sign. Why? Because you cannot have a REAL relationship without in person contact. So I would say, he’s hiding something. Chances are he’s got a woman in his life, that’s why he keeps those video chats so short. If he doesn’t have a woman, then he’s hiding something else about himself. Or he doesn’t want a real relationship. Maybe he can only handle a virtual one.

      You want to talk to men who want to meet in 7 days! No excuses. If a man is too busy to meet you, then he’s too busy to date and too busy for love. It all takes time. If you follow this suggestion, you’ll waste a lot less time on the wrong guys. The right man is ready to meet you and wants to meet you. If you read my short book Is He The One? you’ll catch on to a lot of the games men play. It’s only $4 on Amazon kindle and you can read it on any device with the app. Wishing you love!

  2. Hi Ronnie, I met this guy online he says he loves me wants relationship and calls me texts me on daily basis but its been some weeks and he never talked about meeting me and when i say lets meet he says he is busy with his work and he will make time for me some days. What should i do ?

    Reply
    • Hi Grishma, It all depends on what you want. Do you want a relationship in real life with fun dates, kisses, and time spent together? Or do you want a virtual relationship where you only connect through texts? I hope you choose real life and block this guy who is wasting your time! How can he love you if he hasn’t met you? This is complete nonsense. He wants your attention and adoration, so he says he loves you. This builds his ego, fills his time, and validates him. He might even be cheating on his woman emotionally with you. But what’s in this for you?

      Please look for love locally. If you meet a guy who can’t go on a date within the first 7 days, move on! You want a man who has time for dates, socializing, intimacy, and more. That will never happen through texting or even video chat. Honor yourself because you deserve the real thing – keep meeting men till you find one who is available and wants a relationship. This guy is NOT The one.

  3. Hi there yes I’m in similar situation with this guy I met of a dating site and from day one we’ve just been texting each of all the time we’ve said about meeting up but he keeps saying we will do it soon so what’s going on with him

    Reply
    • Hi Claire, Your wasting your time with him. If you don’t meet within the first week, move on. He’s either not serious about finding love, not interested in meeting you or some men cheat “without cheating” by texting women this way. One thing I know for sure, he’s not looking for true love, so you should block him and move on. If you don’t, he’ll worm his way into your heart and then what? Don’t let it happen to you.

  4. Hi Ronnie, I have the same exact problem. We met on a dating app and started talking on Snapchat. He lives 20 mins away from my place. After talking for 2 days I asked him if we can meet for coffee. He said he is busy with work this week, After 5 days of talking he told me he had a fake name on a dating app and told his real name after 5 days of texting day and night. And suddenly 8th day he texted 2,3 messages only a whole day.

    Reply
    • Hi Maria, Here’s the short answer. Some people just want to message/text. On top of that, this guy admitted to lying about who he is. He has shown you all you need to know about him to disqualify him as a prospect. My question is, why do you still want to talk to him? The reason a man lies about himself is because he has something to hide. Like he’s married or living with someone. It’s time to dump his lying ass before he lies about something else.

      The only way to do the apps is to stop texting, get on a call and meet. If a man is too busy with work, you will never be his priority. Move on to a guy who wants to spend time together and will meet within 5-7 days. Check out this post on why you want to stop texting. There are much better men out there so block him and move on.

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