Updated December 9, 2020
Confused about how to start a conversation on Bumble or Tinder? Try any of these 15 openers to get the ball rolling and connect with more men through the dating apps.
How to Start a Conversation on Bumble or Tinder
As you know on Tinder, anyone can start a conversation, but on Bumble the woman must initiate.
Either way, it’s time to figure out how to get a man’s attention on the dating app so you can find “The One.”
Humor is a winning approach. Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge offer suggestions about how to open a conversation and I borrowed a couple of those.
Then I’ve added several of my own one-liners to the list below.
The idea is to stand out and capture a man’s attention. Many of my coaching clients started out using really lame openers.
You definitely want to avoid anything that can be answered with yes, no or “good.”
Typical Small Talk Won’t Work
For example, a lot of women try, “How is your week going?” This makes no sense because the only thing a man can answer is “good” and where does that lead? Nowhere!
You don’t know each other, so explaining what actually happened during the week will not be a successful opener. This question is better for people you already know.
Once I explain to my clients how to better engage men through the apps, their ability to strike up fun conversations improved significantly.
You want to make a man curious about you, so he wants to know MORE about you. That way, he’ll respond, and you can start conversing to see if there’s a connection.
The Goal Is to Get a Date
To get a date, you need to stand out from all the other women on the app. Some of these tips for how to start a conversation on Bumble are one-liners and others have a flirty twist.
Try a bunch of these suggestions to see what works best for you. Naturally, you can start by asking him a question about something in his profile or photos.
However, there are plenty of men who don’t say much about themselves, write next to nothing or have little going on in their photos.
These suggestions are for when these usual options are not available.
The first few simple texts pose basic questions directed at singles over 50. If you are younger, you’ll get the idea and can create your own comparisons more suitable for your own age group.
For example, a Glamour Magazine article recommended this question about the TV show Friends, “Do you think Ross and Rachel ever really broke up?”
This works for older singles who watched the show when it aired live, as well as, younger people discovering the show today on Netflix.
Which Is Better for Relationships – Tinder or Bumble?
There are two big differences between Tinder and Bumble. The first is that women have to initiate the conversation on Bumble. Started by a woman and ex-employee of Tinder, Bumble was created with women in mind. You are given more control with the Bumble app over the dating process.
The second big difference is that the matches expire on Bumble which gives people the push to start a conversation NOW. If you snooze you lose on Bumble. This means you can engage and meet more matches, and actually start dating.
On the other hand, Tinder with it’s “Hookup” reputation results in fewer connections with lasting power. However, people do still meet and fall in love with Tinder so the choice is yours.
Here’s a post that talks about several different apps.
How to Get a Date on Bumble
What do all of these openers have in common? They don’t pry or require revealing anything too personal. The one-liners are fun, non-threatening and easy to respond to which is why they are effective!
More than anything, you want to avoid reaching out with qualifying questions because you’ll get no real answers. However, you can push men away who don’t want to be interrogated.
What is a qualifying question? Here are a number of inquiries that you may feel are important to know up front, but will not help you create a fun connection.
- Why did you get divorced?
- How long have you been on the app?
- Why are you still single?
- What caused your last breakup?
- How is dating going for you?
These questions are too personal, invasive and frankly none of your business when you are just reaching out. You can ask about divorce and breakup later, after you know you like each other and some trust has been established. Then you are more likely to get truer answers as well.
The goal is to create some fun while connecting so you get a chance to talk on the phone and then meet. That is the point, right?
The easier and more fun you make the first contact, the more likely you will create a deeper connection and get a date!
First Bumble Message
1. Coke or Pepsi?
The “Cola Wars” have been going on for decades and it’s fun to find out which side someone will take. It’s not personal and comes out of nowhere, bringing back memories of a more youthful time for the person you ask.
2. Rolling Stones or the Beatles?
Taking you back to the ’60s and the time of the British invasion (here in the US) is another great way to recapture a youthful feeling. That’s perfect for singles over 50, but it is a fun question about musical preference for any age.
3. Thriller vs. Dramedy?
This is another fun comparison based on your TV watching habits. There are lots of genres to choose from if these don’t work for you like legal drama, western, cop show, comedy, science fiction, fantasy, medical drama, etc. Pick your own genres or favorite Netflix shows to ask about and you’ll get a conversation going in no time.
4. Mountains vs. seashore?
Exploring the idea of where you prefer to spend your free time can open up a rich path for conversation about vacations, quick trips and where people feel their best.
5. What’s your favorite pizza?
Some people are purists and like only cheese, while others consider a wide range of toppings from spinach and broccoli to bacon or pineapple. it’s just a fun question and easy to answer.
Cute First Messages on Bumble
6. What’s your favorite travel destination?
Who doesn’t like to go on vacation? Talking about travel and vacation will likely put someone in a good mood in the same way time off does.
You can learn a lot about a person’s sense of adventure from where they like to go and if they repeat the same vacation over and over or always go someplace new.
7. How do you spend a rainy Sunday?
This question helps you learn about a person’s free time and how creative they get with it.
Does the guy just watch sports or movies or look for something more stimulating like a museum? Or maybe they get a few friends together and play cards.
8. What’s your sign?
Asking about Astrology is always fun and such a popular topic today. People love to talk about themselves without getting too personal. Even if he’s not that interested in astrology, chances are he’ll know his Sun Sign.
9. Did you just wink at me?
This is a playful, flirty one-liner meant to get a man thinking. Obviously, he didn’t wink at you, but that doesn’t matter. Flirting is fun and this is one way to start.
10. What do you do when you’re not making me melt?
Another flirty opener, this appeals to his masculine side and ego. Telling a man he makes you melt is so flattering and could warm him up to you in case he needs it.
What To Say On Bumble – More Suggestions
11. What would you do if you won the lottery?
Here’s how you might learn a little bit about his dreams by asking what he’d do if he didn’t have to work anymore or came into a lot of money. Pure fun.
12. Jazz, Rock or Country?
Music is a great topic to start a conversation and this is a classic question. A lot of men love music and will be happy to wax on about their favorite genres and artists. Having musical interests in common can help you bond.
13. East or West coast?
Everyone has a preference, and this is also a way to discover where he’s from. This question is a great example of how to start a conversation on Bumble or other dating apps.
14. Tell me two truths and a lie.
I had never heard of this little game but apparently, it’s become quite popular as a conversation starter.
You’ll have to guess which one is the lie and you can see how this creates plenty to text about. Be creative with your own responses!
15. Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash?
This is an old pick up line that comes at a man out of nowhere and will get his attention for sure.
Another flirty option, the humor in this one-liner could open doors and start conversations with men you might not connect with otherwise.
Messaging a Guy on Bumble or Tinder
Now you know. If you’ve been racking your brain about how to start a conversation on Bumble, you’ve got 15 new creative ways to reach out on the apps and start a conversation with a man. Now you have no excuses!
Be brave and maybe bold! Don’t just try the line about pizza. Try some of the flirty starters because you never know exactly what will help you connect with “The One” and be the start of the magic that love is.
On the other hand, when you fret constantly, evaluating each man as if he could be “The One,” you are not at your best and neither is your energy. This means you are coming from a place of shortage or lack, fearing you won’t find the right man for you. That’s why the most important thing you can do is to relax, be playful and simply have fun.
If a man doesn’t respond, so what – move on! There are lots of many men online and the apps and more join every day.
Stop wondering how to start a conversation on Bumble or Tinder and just do it! The faster you get started, the faster you can find the love you want.
If you want more dating tips, get my free book 7 Deadly Sins of Texting or hire me to write your profile for you.
5 thoughts on “15 Openers To Start A Conversation On Bumble Or Tinder”
What about when all a girl says is “Hi” or “Hey”
How do you respond without doing too much but still showing you’re interested.
Hey Dar – if she doesn’t chat with you, move on to someone else. You can’t make anyone be friendly or like you. If it requires too much work to have a conversation, that let’s you know the person is not interested.
I’m 62 single, attractive, live in southern California. I had so many wonderful men in my past and I love being single and independent. I had a man friend from the past look me up last year – we had a lot of fun when in our twenties. But it was completely different now in our 60’s. I found it was too much work. I do not like the texting back and forth. If you’re at home doing nothing why not pick up the phone? I told him I am not a Pen Pal and that if he wants to know how I am doing or go out to CALL ME. After several months it stopped after a date we had. A month went by and he never called and never texted. I wont call men or text them ever, unless i have a specific reason. Men seem to like to text because they can do this to multiple women at the same time. That showed me he was not interested. I discovered I was not missing anything, since he was cheap on dates and drank too much. Most women are so desperate with the phone in the hand all the time. Terrible that people forgot real communication. Have fun ladies wasting your time texting men. The ones that like you and find you different will CALL you. Raise the bar and set the standards
Hi Mae – great stage name! You are a smart cookie – thanks for sharing your experience and advice about texting – it sure can be a huge waste of time. I’m with you – pick up the phone if you want my attention. Anyone reading this post my want to get advice about texting too.