How to Recover From An Almost Relationship That Felt So Real

What is an “Almost Relationship?” I bet you know what I mean without the explanation, but just in case, I’m going to go ahead and spell it out.

Defining the Almost Relationship

almost relationship

You are captivated and perhaps in love with an elusive man. He might text a lot or also call and Facetime. It might be a long distance thing or he’s just too busy to see you. Maybe he does have lunch with you or take you on one date night.

Yet, you are so taken with him and attracted like a moth to a flame, that you’re willing to accept his limited attention or breadcrumb relationship.

You tell yourself that any time with him is better than nothing. And you feel like he is “The One,” and no other man will do or compare.

You have a dream of what your relationship could be like with him. He seems so close to what you want and you are almost there. Your conversations are intimate and sweet. He shared with you deeply and revealed his personal details, so you know you are someone special to him.

Not a Real Relationship

However, this is not a full relationship. He might care about you but, in the big picture, he doesn’t care enough to have the close, face-to-face romantic relationship you wish for.

No matter how much you dream about it or think about it, he misses the mark completely in terms of being your romantic partner. He’s just not available for all that you want.

Waking up to Reality

almost relationship Waking up to see the reality of your almost relationship is no easy task. Maybe one day he vanishes without a word. Or his contact with you dribbles off into nothing. And you fall apart because he’s no longer a part of your life.

Sadly, sharing your love, support and attention is no longer an option.

Sometimes the realization happens when you get honest with yourself about wanting MORE. That’s how you know, without a doubt, this is not a real, and an almost, relationship.

Then what happens is you likely start blaming yourself for things not working out. You review in detail everything that happened, looking for the thing that pushed him away. You feel you must have done something wrong.

Why Aren’t I Enough?

For some reason beyond your knowing, you just weren’t enough. Maybe not pretty enough, smart enough or you aren’t sure what. Yet, it feels like it’s your fault.

This is natural – it’s how women react. We blame ourselves and think we aren’t good enough. As a result, you review conversations and look for what went wrong, dragging your self-respect and self-worth through the mud.

So here’s the thing, you don’t need to disregard your feelings for him. They were REAL. It’s the almost relationship that wasn’t. So, by all means honor your feelings of love and the loss and rejection that followed.

What matters now is to build yourself back up and remember that you are a great catch and worthy of love. There is a good man out there who wants a woman just like you.

He wasn’t your man or the lasting love you hoped for, but the next one could be. New opportunities will come your way as you heal.

He Strung You Along

In all honesty, this guy probably led you on. He let you believe he cared the same way you did. He might have talked about the future together or said the sweetest things.

It’s completely possible that he really did care, in his own highly limited way.

This Is a Real Breakup

breadcrumb relationshipSince you loved this man, even if the relationship never fully materialized, recognize and acknowledge your loss. Go ahead and treat this like a regular breakup because it’s true for you.

That means you might grieve for a while. Cry and eat ice cream. Call your girlfriends to seek support and kindness because you need to feel heard. Maybe you’ll watch a few chick flicks, go for a run or take an Epsom salt bath with lavender to cleanse your energy and let him go.

Do what you would normally do after a breakup. Take time to heal and invest in self-care.

Then vow you’ll never fall for this kind of almost relationship again. The days of you accepting relationship crumbs from any man are definitely over.

You deserve a real relationship, spending time with a man in person and building a life together. When you feel ready, go after that.

You can find true love, I did it and that’s why I know you can too.


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Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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