That’s why I interviewed a panel of gentlemen over 50 to ask them some pretty pointed questions about dating, love and women. Their answers were pleasantly surprising.
What I discovered was that many midlife men are looking for lasting love. Not all men just want a roll in the hay and plenty actually want to date women their own age.
What Men Think about Women
Here are the top three things midlife men look for in a romantic partner:
1. Physical Attraction
This is not about being a bathing beauty, super slim or gorgeous even though you guess that’s what men think and want. In fact, while men may fantasize about those model-like perfect women, they know they aren’t likely to date one.
Let’s face it – we women fantasize about the perfect hot guy too. This is normal for both genders.
What do men want in a woman regarding looks? They want someone who takes time with her appearance. Keeping your look up-to-date and having a sense of style lets a man know you care about yourself.
Think about it – don’t you look at a man’s shoes, hair and belt? Don’t you assess him based his grooming and style. Guys have similar desires as women do.
When it comes to hair, gray or died hair doesn’t matter, but almost all men seem to like longer locks. And a little makeup definitely appeals to the male gender (especially for women over 40).
What men think is that a woman who takes care of herself and her looks, has a good self-image and self-worth and find that very appealing.
2. Happy Personality
Midlife men want a woman who is already happy and not one hoping a man will make her happy.
What men think about women who expect a man to fill up their lives and entertain them is that it’s a high pressure job. They don’t want to be responsible for your happiness. On the other hand, when you are happy as you are and want a relationship to add to your life, that is the best possible scenario.
Women who are cheerful and positive are naturally more appealing. Honestly, doesn’t that make sense? After all you don’t want to date Danny Downer anymore than men want to date Debbie Downer.
When you meet a new guy, be smart about how you talk about your life. A date is really similar to a job interview – you want to present your best side, no matter what kind of day or love life you’ve had.
So, here’s what you want to avoid. Don’t talk about:
- How hard dating is
- That mean men are
- How awful you e xis
- Why dating stinks
- That you can’t meet one decent man
A First Date Is Like a Job Interview
A first date is very similar to going on a job interview. You wouldn’t bash your current boss or company during a job interview if you wanted the job right? So, don’t do that on a first date either if you want a second date.
Show off your best side before you reveals your woes and how hard your life is. What men think is they don’t want to be your therapist on a first date. (This doesn’t mean they don’t want to be supportive and listen once in a relationship.)
Lots of men have told me they feel like a social worker on a first date with a woman who spills her guts because they are the first nice guy who listened. I”m sure you can easily see how unappealing this would be.[For more similarities about job hunting and dating, check out my book Job Search = Love: Search 10 Career Strategies that Help You find Love Too]
3. Available to Date
Yes, men want to date women who are available! Everyone is busy, but what men think is that they don’t want to chase you down for a date. They don’t want to feel you are squeezing them into your nutty schedule, even if that’s true. You don’t want to feel that way either.
To find love, you have to find time in your calendar and make this goal a priority. If you put a man off for two weeks to meet for coffee or a meal, you are letting him know he’ll never be your priority. That’s a big turn off!
Make Time to Date
You want a man who makes you feel important in his life, right? Well, men want the very same thing! That’s why I tell my clients they have to make time.
If you don’t have time to date, you don’t have time for a relationship either. A healthy relationship can take more time!
Find a way to see a man within a week of his request if you want to keep him interested. Just do the best you can.
Given these top three priorities for the qualities sought in a single midlife woman, I hope you feel more hopeful and positive. Why? Because my bet is, you have what you need to attract that quality man you desire!
If you want to learn more about midlife dating and better understanding men, why fill not out an application for a Dating Discovery Session and schedule an appointment? We’ll talk by phone or Skype for 30-minutes to get to know each other and find out if coaching might be for you.