How Can I Get Him Interested in Me?

Women ask, “How can I get him interested in me?” I’ve discovered four basic strategies most women rely on, but in truth, only one works well to grab a man’s attention and get him interestedhow can I get him interested in me.

How to Keep a Guy Wanting More

Single women take a variety of approaches to meeting a new man for the first time. In my 16 years as a dating and love coach for women, four basic strategies stand out. I’m sure there are more but, these will cover how the majority of women think about that important first encounter.

Let me explain each strategy, so you can figure out which one seems closest to what you do. And then, discover which one works if you are serious about finding love with the right man.

The Nice Girl

If you’re just nice, you’ll listen intently and add a little of yourself here and there. You’ll smile, nod, and laugh when appropriate. You tend to be a people pleaser and this is your strategy for meeting new men too. You figure you can’t lose when you are nice. But, is nice irresistible?

Nice might get you a passing grade, (Well, she was nice…) but it will not capture his attention, nor keep it. Unfortunately, there is no challenge to nice, no spice, and NO MYSTERY. This is not how to get him thinking about you or curious what makes you tick. Showing more of your real personality – the good stuff, is important to get and keep a man’s attention.

The Tough Investigator

You don’t simply meet a new man, you INVESTIGATE HIM. Your girlfriends think you should have been a private eye. That’s because every man must pass your test. It starts with Googling him, maybe the Stud or Dud App or TinEye to see if he is who he says he is and if he’s married, has a record etc. No man is going to pull the wool over your eyes.

After this first round which he knows nothing about, you have a series of questions you need answers to before you’ll consider dating him. He’s got to pass muster and it’s a vigorous process. You take pride in your own brand of interrogation to see how he handles the pressure.

Even if you’re tactics might be more subtle, you still want to know up front:

  • Why he got divorced
  • How long it’s been since his divorce was final
  • Does he want to marry again
  • Will he have more children
  • Is he looking for a committed relationship

You don’t want to waste any time with the wrong man and feel completely justified to qualify men in this manner.

Unfortunately, this strategy won’t make you irresistible. More likely, it will keep you single because there’s no mystery here. He’ll get defensive and know at least one man has done you wrong and that you do not trust men. Your underlying anger reveals all he needs to know and eliminates his desire for more.

When you start from a place that every man needs a good grilling before he is deemed worthy, you send vibes of massive distrust. Not so attractive and definitely not a fun date.

The “I’m Going to Be Myself” Woman

Your strategy is a bit different. You show up relaxed and ready to be yourself. That sounds like it should work really well. What could possibly go wrong when you are yourself? Let’s dig a little deeper.

You might show up for a date right after work without changing your clothes or more importantly, your mindset. You are friendly and talk to people all the time so, this new guy is just one more person to meet. No biggie right? Trouble is warm and friendly are good, but not irresistible.

When I was single and looking I talked to every body. I still do. But I was using my friendly approach without any feminine charisma. I didn’t dates this way.

If you’re wondering how can I get him interested in me, being friendly is only a start. Friendly is sort of like nice.

And that leads me to the fourth and winning approach…

The Feminine Charmer

Comfortable around men, you know how to talk to them and you feel desirable around them. You’re curious if the guy will meet your basic criteria. Yet, you want to enjoy that coffee or glass of wine with him just see if you click.

You are flirty friendly with a new man, tapping into your feminine charm which triggers his masculine nature. This subtle difference to simple friendliness creates the needed mystery and draws him in to want to know MORE.

If he asks tough questions like, “Why are you still single?, you respond first with a smile or little laugh. Then you give him one of your typical feminine charmer answers. “Well, most men aren’t like you.” Or, “I’ve only dreamt about men like you.” This turns the tables on him, derails his own interrogation, and puts you in the dating driver’s seat.

You know these little quips are disarming to a man and you flash him your best flirty, mischievous grin with a twinkle in your eye. You can do that because you rely on your feminine charm for all it’s worth, which is actually quite a lot.

Once disarmed or thrown off course, he’s super curious. He’s drawn in and wants to know what makes you tick. You are a mystery he finds more irresistible than the average nice, friendly woman. You know you don’t need to answer every question fully so he is left wondering about you.

Show Off Your Flirty Confidence

When you relax and learn to enjoy meeting men, you will come across as confident and comfortable in your own skin. This puts a man at ease which makes you far more irresistible. You’ll make him curious about you and have an air of intrigue.

This is the female version of the “Bad Boy”. A confident woman doesn’t get all flustered by a man. She knows how to deflect hard questions, ask him questions that bring out his passion vs. defenses, and turn the conversation around to her advantage.

This approach comes from a place of feminine confidence, not a masculine “don’t mess with me” place. Can you see the difference? You don’t need to challenge a man when you can play with him. That’s what flirting is – creative, spontaneous and playful!

This is the ONE THING that will make all the difference when you are out meeting men or on a first date. Flirty, confident and feminine charm are the keys to enjoying men.

Can you imagine the benefits of relaxing into your femininity and becoming more playful? It would change dating forever and help you find the love of a good man faster!

How Can I Get Him Interested in Me?

Give this a shot, but know you might not get it right the first time. That’s OK – its can take a bit of practice. The point is not to care so much about any one man or date. Take the pressure off, just meet men and learn to enjoy it.

This way, there’s nothing to mess up or ruin. When you are playful and relaxed, you’ll automatically be more confident. You’ll be more mysterious and desirable too, drawing him in and making him curious. This is how you separate yourself from MOST OTHER WOMEN. Give yourself this chance.

The more fun you have, the more likely you are to get out and meet men. Why not try it tonight?

Become the irresistible woman who lurks beneath the surface of your own skin. She’s in there – unleash the ties that bind her and let her lose on the world. You’ll have the best time you’ve ever had!

Want more proven strategies about “how can I get him interested in me?” Check out Flirt School with practical, easy tips any woman can use to improve your flirty ways and become practically irresistible to men.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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