How are you supposed to flirt with a man? Is there a certain way to flirt that will draw him in vs. make him run away? What do you need to know about flirting to make it work for you? Read on for simple flirting tips that really WORK and are a lot of fun too!
The ability to flirt is coded into your DNA. Why? For survival of the species. The original purpose of flirting was to attract a mate and bring more humans into the world. All animals do some sort of dance or preening to attract the opposite sex. It’s completely natural and an innate skill built right into you from birth.
Today, flirting has a different purpose. Even if you want a family, first you want love. Being in relationship in the 21st century is now a choice. Men and women no longer NEED each other to survive, but we WANT companionship and support. We want romance and partnership in life.
Flirting is a method for getting male attention and making yourself approachable, so you can meet more men to find “The One” for you.
How to Flirt with a Man
Are you concerned that your flirting might backfire? That can’t happen if you understand the true underlying purpose of flirting. But first let me explain what flirting really is.
According to the Google dictionary, to flirt is to “behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.” While I was surprised to see this, it’s the perfect definition although I was surprised to see it on the web. It’s perfect because flirting is NOT serious.
The main reason to flirt is to engage with men in a fun, playful and spontaneous way. You are letting men know you are available and approachable. Your flirting might not even be verbal. (Related post Talking with Strangers). A lot of fabulous flirting is completely NONVERBAL.
Flirting Body Language
How are you supposed to flirt using body language? When male attention is your goal, this is the easiest part. It might not work to get a certain man’s interest but, you will get noticed by men.
Whether or not you are consciously aware of what you are doing, you are wired to send and receive body language messages. It’s an innate skill that everyone has. Just like you can tell when someone is super happy or there has been a big argument, just by looking at them. You KNOW because of your human ability to read body language.
That’s EXACTLY why flirting works so well! Here is a list of things that you may feel silly doing, but do not doubt for one minute the effect these little moves have on getting men to notice you.
1.Smile and Connect – When you catch a man eyeing you, SMILE back and briefly hold his gaze for just 2-3 seconds that’s it. Any longer and he’ll think you ARE serious so don’t go there. This is about light interactions, not seduction.
2. Touch Your Neck – Your neck is an erogenous zone, so when you put your fingers or hand on your neck, most men around you will notice. This is great in a room with plenty of people if you are networking or in a restaurant bar.
3. Play with Hair or Jewelry – Fiddling with your earrings or necklace is a great flirty move and let’s men know you are available. It’s a simple little move but it sends the right signals. Same thing is true for playing with your hair – whether you twist a little piece that hangs down or toss it and let it settle out naturally, men will get this message.
4. Look Over Your Shoulder – If you look back at a man over your shoulder and up through your lashes, this is considered super flirty. Spot a man looking at you? Smile back before looking away, then turn back a few minute later to look again. Boom! That’s a signal of interest!
When Flirting Turns Men Off
Let me be really clear. There are a few things you DON’T want to do if you’re still wondering how are you supposed to flirt with a man. This is how flirting goes wrong and actually turns a man off. You want to be aware to make sure you don’t take things too far.
1.Staring Is Rude – Eye contact should not last longer than 2-3 seconds. If you aren’t sure what I mean, think about it the old-fashioned way – count to yourself, “One, one thousand, two one thousand.” This is how people used to measure time because saying the numbers this way takes about two seconds.
Even if you want to be a bit more seductive and actually look a man up and down the way men look at you, this is QUICK! Do NOT linger because you end up looking like you are STARING which is creepy and aggressive. Men will look away for good.
I’ve had clients tell me they looked at men and smiled and it didn’t work. I can’t promise this will work on any particular man – but will help you get the attention of men around you who find you attractive. But, it won’t make a man want you. Either he does or he doesn’t. Holding his eye contact longer will backfire.
2. Licking Your Lips – Some experts talk about licking your lips so, they are wet and get his attention. That’s also the purpose of lip gloss! However, the act of licking your lips too frequently could make you look like a drug addict so stick with more demure methods.
3. Too Many Flirty Moves – Sometimes a woman trying these flirting tips thinks they aren’t working, so she’ll do them all one after another. Unfortunately, this is a place where more is NOT better and you could end up looking like a hussy! That’s hot for a man looking for sex but, a HUGE turn off for a quality man seeking a woman for lasting love.
How Are You Supposed to Flirt?
Well, now you know a few easy flirting tricks that are sure to get you some male attention. And you also know how to avoid several flirting mistakes that turn men off.
Think of yourself being demur or coy – these are great words to put you in a flirty mindset. Flirting heightens your feminine energy which also increases a man’s masculine response. Exactly what you want to achieve when you’re out there looking for love.
When you rely on your feminine charms, you attract men to you. Draw them in with your allure. This is the opposite of man hunting when you seek them out and aggressively go after them.
You’ll discover it’s nearly impossible to capture the attention of quality masculine man with any aggressive moves. He may go along for the ride and be willing to sleep with you. He might be open to a casual relationship.
What a Quality Man Seeks in a Woman
On the other hand, a quality man seeks a woman who knows how to BE a woman and let him be the MAN. She lets the man lead, knowing her power is one of allure and warmth. She never tries to use her business skills to GET a man because she understands that is not of interest to a successful, decisive, masculine man.
So, how are you supposed to flirt with a man? With grace, ease and style. Relying on confidence and a playful attitude. Holding the knowledge that your allure is your feminine power to bring men to you. You’ve got this babe.
If you still want to learn more about flirting, check out Flirt School – it’s got all the fun, flirty lessons a single woman can want!