Do you find yourself waiting for the phone to ring? Waiting for him to call? Let me help you with understanding men and what you can do about it.
There is a lot of dating advice for women on this topic because it’s a tough issue that all single gals have to face. After a great first date and a strong connection, excitement builds. This is especially true at the end of your date, when he asks you for another.
He says he’ll call to set the next date up. So you wait … and wait. The stress builds and for some women turns to anxiety. But he doesn’t call and you feel more than disappointed – you feel devastated! How could he do that to you?
What’s a woman supposed to do? You may feel confused, rejected, or sink into despair. How could he not call when you had such a good time? You could tell he did, too. So, what’s the problem?
Understanding Men – Should I Call Him?
You might think calling him is the answer. Why not right? After all you’re both adults. This is a new era in dating. It’s easy to convince yourself that this is by far the quickest route to ending the tension and waiting.
But as a dating coach for women, I’m not a fan of calling men or initiating contact at the start of dating and here’s why.
1.How Interested Is He?
You want to know what a man will do without your prompting because that tells you how interested he truly is. If he can’t even make a call or ask you out, he’s not interested, no matter how great your first date seemed.
2. You’ll Look Desperate
When you pick up that phone and contact him, you risk looking desperate. Yes, even today many men will think that when they hear your voice on the other end of the phone. This is a fact when it comes to understanding men.
3. You’ll Take Over Pursuit
If you make that one call and it goes well, then you might be tempted to continue on this path. Every time he doesn’t call or ask you out again, you’ll be calling or texting to find out what’s happening and asking to see him again. Now you are chasing him and that never ends well. If you have to chase a man, he definitely is not that interested. But he may be curious enough to stick around and get lucky.
I know it’s not easy to deal with the angst of not knowing. It can drive you nuts wondering what is going on. Some women start to think he got sick or injured himself. Trust me, he’s perfectly fine but just not calling you.
Learn to Read Between the Lines
This might sound weird, but when a man doesn’t call you, he is still communicating loud and clear. He’s saying, “Sorry honey, I’m not that into you.” Once you catch on to the fact that this IS the message he is sending, now you’re on your way to understanding men.
The good news, you’ll stop waiting by the phone and free yourself up to move on to meet better men! Good men are out there. Don’t waste your precious time waiting around for some guy to call. I don’t care who he is or how great a time you had or what a great catch he seems to be. He’s not the man for you or HE WOULD HAVE CALLED.
How Long Should You Wait for Him to Call?
If you had a great time with a man and you don’t hear from him in seven days, allow yourself to let go with grace. When a man is into you, he won’t wait a week. He’ll want to see you again and he’ll move heaven and earth to make that happen. Occasionally there are extenuating circumstances but that is a very rare thing. Don’t assume that applies to you because the odds are very strong he’s just not calling.
Why Did He Say He’d Call?
The hard truth is there are plenty of decent men out there who don’t want to hurt you, but don’t know what else to say. They feel saying, “I’ll call you” is easier because they think this is what is expected. Many think not asking is too hard to get away with.
What Can You Do?
Be smart! Know that when a man says, “I’ll call you,” he most likely won’t. This way you won’t be waiting around or disappointed. You can go about your business and meet other men. And if he does call, then that is a wonderful surprise!
If a man is genuinely interested, he’ll probably contact you within a few days and ask you out again for the following week. Now that’s a man with potential.