Does he like me? How can you tell if the new guy you are seeing is really into you and serious about building a relationship or just going along for the ride? Watch for these 14 clues to know if he’s into you.
Does He Like Me – How Can I Tell?
Finally, you are dating a guy you really like, and it seems he likes you too. But how do you know for sure? There are definitely signs to watch for once you know what matters most about a new guy and how he treats you.
So many women get terribly confused, frustrated and anxious trying to figure this out. They ask girlfriends, family, guy friends, search the web seeking answers to the emotionally driven question “Does he like me?” That’s why I want to break this down for you into simple, easily understandable pieces so you know where you stand.
This information is strictly for the start of dating which means the first 6-8 weeks. If you’ve been with each other for several months, then the criteria and clues change. So, this pertains to the start of dating and a budding relationship.
1) He Asks You Out On Real Dates
The man you are seeing asks to see you and takes you on REAL dates. What is a real date? When you go out to do something like dinner, movie, going for a walk and then drinks, going to a museum, seeing live music, etc. A real date is time spent out in public where he pays for you.
Free dates like a walk, hiking or kayaking, biking, kite-flying etc., are OK for some of the dates. But if all your dates are free, think twice. If he’s not willing to invest even a small amount of money to entertain you, then he has no money, is super cheap or has money issues.
If you go to your house or his and watch a movie or talk, that’s not a real date, particularly for the first four weeks. Stay out of the house for safety and to reduce the temptation of sleeping with him before you know he has real merit.
2) You See Him at Least Once a Week
It’s OK if things start out slowly and you only see him once a week for a few weeks. But by week four or five, things should pick up if he’s into you. When you are seeing a man who is super busy and he doesn’t have time because he’s traveling or has his kids, etc., that lets you know he’s NOT ready or doesn’t have time for a real relationship.
Don’t accept his excuses. Men show you who they really are through their actions. If he talks about wanting to see you, but doesn’t make time weekly, he’s not the right man.
Yes, it really is this simple if you date with your head and not just your heart. This is how you avoid getting attached to a man you won’t be happy with.
3) He Calls At Least Once A Week
Texting is not a way to get to know someone. It’s fun, entertaining and you can learn about each other this way, but to really get to know a person, you need to talk on the phone (or see each other in person). There is no substitute for conversation when it comes to finding out what you need to know to properly vet a man.
You want to hear his voice – how long he pauses before answering a question, his tone of voice, when and why he laughs and so much more. Texting offers only one dimension, where actual conversation is multi-dimensional and rich with clues about who a man is.
4) He Is Consistent
When asking, “Does he like me?” the real answer is seen over time. You are looking for consistency which is a sign of his true interest.
A lot of men will SAY they are seriously interested, but then disappear for days or longer, talk about plans and the future, but never ask to see you. I call this “Blah, blah, blah” which means he’s all talk (or text) and it means nothing.
Watch what he DOES – that tells you everything you need to know about if he likes you. His consistent efforts to get to know you mean a lot.
5) He Keeps His Promises
A quality man showing genuine interest keeps his word to you. Anyone might need to cancel here or there, but if he cancels often or needs to reschedule, that’s a big warning sign that other things are far more important than you! It could also mean he has issues telling the truth or following through and neither one is good.
6) He Pays For Half Your Dates Or More
I don’t believe chivalry is dead. For the most part, I’m a fan of letting the man pay for at least the first few dates. After the second or third date, you can offer to pay. Then you can take turns if that feels right.
If you start paying for the majority of dates, that’s not a good thing. A man who let’s you pay indicates he may have a chip on his shoulder about women and money. He might be cheap, have some kind of money issue, or isn’t that interested in you.
If you’re asking, “Does he like me?” and the guy you’re seeing never takes out his wallet, the answer is NO.
7) He Asks About Your Life
Want to know if he’s serious? One way is if he asks about your life and shows interest in what you are doing, working on or hoping for. This is what a quality man does. He wants to be a part of your life, not just seeing you as an extension of his life.
When a man only talks about himself and doesn’t ask many questions after the first couple of dates, that’s a red flag he might be self-absorbed or narcissistic. If this is happening, I can see why you want to know, “Does he like me?”
Does He Like Me? More Signs That Say He Does!
8) He Shares About His Life
Sometimes men share personal details very quickly and women tend to think he must really like them as a result. However, if he’s pouring his heart out on the first phone call or date – that can be a seduction technique OR a sign he’s super needy. Again, neither is good.
However, as he gets to know you, if he starts sharing what happened at work or with a friend and what is going on in his life, that’s a very good sign. He’s bringing you into this world. If he calls because he’s excited about something and wants to share it with you – awesome!
9) He Asks For Your Opinion
When a man you’re seeing asks what you think about something going on in his life, whether it’s buying a car or a situation at work, that’s a good sign too. He respects you enough to value your insights. This is significant – wahoo!
10) Introduces You To Friends & Family
When a man slowly introduces you around to key friends and family, that’s a sign he’s getting comfortable enough with you to include you in his life. However, be aware sometimes a man thinks you’re really hot and takes you to meet his buddies to show off. You’ll need to combine this clue with others just to be sure.
11) Treats You With Kindness and Respect
Anyone can have a bad day, but as long as most of the time your man treats you with respect, that’s what you are looking for. If he’s kind, is interested in what you like and what makes you happy, that’s what counts!
12) Accepts You For Who You Are
The right man doesn’t try to control you or change you and accepts you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t criticize your clothing, what you eat or your beliefs even if he doesn’t agree with everything – who does? You know you’ve got a keeper when he thinks your quirks are cute.
13) Works Through An Issue
Even at the beginning of a budding romance, something might come up that needs to be discussed and worked through. This guy is willing to talk about it to make sure he understands your point of view and then wants to work out a solution.
On the other hand, if you get into a scrap and he walks away, starts yelling, blames you for the problem, or becomes unpleasant in any way, these are glaring red flags. For lasting love, you need to be able to communicate calmly and work through issues.
14) He Compliments You
Let’s not forget basic compliments like him saying something nice about your hair or dress. Or saying how much fun he has with you, what a beautiful smile you have or how much he likes spending time with you.
This one needs to be combined with a few others to have real meaning, but hey – it’s always nice to get compliments!
Does He Like Me? Now You Know The Signs!
You might not see all 14 clues that let you know he likes you all at once. Several take time to emerge. However, if you’re looking for lasting love and a healthy relationship, you’ll want to see all of these to know you’ve found a good man who is surely a keeper.
Don’t make excuses for your guy. If you are often wondering, “Does he like me?” he’s probably not the right man. A good man doesn’t leave you hanging. If he’s not always kind, never compliments you or doesn’t want to talk things through, your relationship will be problematic.
Building a good relationship can be hard enough when everything is good, so do not accept less than these qualities if you want to be with a man who will make a good life partner.
Dating a man who is inconsistent? Download my free book to understand his mixed signals.