Over 40 Dating: Do You Complain about Men More than You Date Them?

photo credit podchef  bad apples

Have you let a few bad apples ruin the bunch?

If you’ve had some bad experiences, its understandable. how such a thing could happen.  But if you start noticing that you spend more time complaining about men with friends than actually dating them, its time to re-evaluate your belief system.

Man Bashing Is Fun!
Yeah I know, misery loves company and complaining about men with your girlfriends can be a fun activity. A couple of glasses of wine or a few cosmos and off you go. The question is – do you recognize the harmful fallout from indulging in this topic of conversation? I work with many dating coaching clients on this very idea.

Negative Thoughts Crowd Out Positive Ones Over Time
Your subconscious mind takes in what you say and uses it as the platform to interpret all of your life experiences. After some time, you won’t be as capable of considering a good story about men because it contradicts your belief that all men are bad apples. Now that’s a problem that creates quite an obstacle to meeting the good man you long for. Too much complaining will crowd out any positive thoughts.

Your Belief in Finding a Good Man is Crucial
To meet the right man for you, you need to believe that its possible.  If you are starting to wonder about your own situation, good! How can you start to turn around your negative thoughts about men? Affirmations can be very helpful. With time and practice, positive affirmations can start to replace those negative tapes that keep you feeling down about men and unhappily single.

You May Need to Form New Friendships
If the people you hang with most are down on men, you may need to consider making some new friends for a couple of reasons.

1. These women will not be supportive of your desire to stop man bashing – that’s how they relate to you.
2. These women will not be supportive of your belief that you can find a good man. The may keep you down, not to be mean, but to maintain the status quo – as a defense for their own situation

You may be able to retain these friendships, but these women will not be the ones you go out with to meet men.

Finding a Good Man after 40 is Completely “Do-able.”
I know it may seem impossible – but having been there myself, I know that finding love after 40 can be done. So many other women have walked in your shoes – well similar shoes. They found men. You can do it too. Women fall in love every day. You could be next!

Make the Shift to Believe
Here are some ideas that can help you make this shift to believing which will make it far easier to attract good men:

  • Read positive books about dating like MANifesting Mr. Right
  • Read books about positive thinking and manifesting your dreams
  • Choose a few of the exercises from these books and practice them with conviction!
  • Look for people to support your new behaviors and ways of thinking
  • Find the faith some where deep within you that you are meant for a loving relationship and hold onto this when things get hard. It will help carry you through.

I believe in you and your destiny for a happy, healthy loving relationship with the right man.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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