Spoke with Shellie again yesterday. Things with Mitch are percolating along. It seems Mitch likes to bring her little presents. A small fruit bread he baked, some fruit he canned last summer. Hmmm, not the traditional fare but sweet none the less. And the man cooks! Wa-hoo!
Shellie repeated again how different Mitch is. Plus, the way things are unfolding in their courtship varies dramatically from previous romances. First of all, she’s not head over heels. Usually she’s mad crazy about the guy – the results of falling for a charmer I’m sure. Instead, Shellie very cutely and shyly admitted that she likes Mitch more and more each time they get together. A slow build if you will.
Why does this matter? Well for one thing, a slow build gives you time to learn more about each other without being all gaga if you get my drift. It keeps you sane and on a more even keel, yet it’s still fun.
Oh, I know, that’s probably your preference. But more often than not, intense passion leads to disappointment in the not too distant future. When you can get to know a man without the frenzied chemistry, you give yourself a chance to see if he really has potential. You can gather data (you know my position – dating is really an abbreviation for data-gathering) about him such as –
- When does he call and how often?
- How much time in between calls?
- What are the conversations like?
- How often does he see you?
- Does he set up the next date before leaving the current date?
- Does he open the door?
- Ask about you?
- Try to please you?
- Do you have fun together?
- Does he respect you and you him?
All of these facts provide crucial details for dating decisions, but often get overlooked or tossed aside in favor of passion that sadly manages to burn out as quickly as it erupted. Dating, the first four to 10 dates is more like a fact-finding mission to catalog results and behavior. Seems too clinical? But, how else can you know if this is the right man for you? When yuo date with your heart and your head, you have a better chance of making the right choices.
That’s why Shellie’s new experience with Mitch is such a good thing. Not only is the relationship unfolding at a pace that allows breathing room, but she’s still not totally taken-in, so she remains emotionally safer then when you dive in heart first. A wait-and-see attitude can save you from heart break for sure.
Stay tuned for more about Shellie’s mid-life dating adventure. Personally I’m on the edge of my seat.