This post is from Dating Without Drama and Paige Parker whose advice is always fabulous. Paige also has a few male dating experts who provide great insight into how men think. (We need that!) This is a great post with advice on why you don’t want to share too much when you are just getting to know a new guy.
After dating for awhile and watching sitcoms like “How I Met Your Mother” that make fun of typical dating scenarios I have come to the conclusion that some women don’t understand men and share way too much information. In dating you are expected to exchange information as part of getting to know someone. Honestly a first date is sometimes more like an interview that ends with a kiss instead of a handshake if it goes well.
But how much should you share?
Well if you don’t want to scare the bejeesus out of a guy there are definitely things you should not cover. While I never condone lying in a relationship, you should ease into some things after we know that we like you. Otherwise we might not stick around and give you an annoying ‘label’.
Topics that scare men:
1. Marriage or any long-term only relationship
I get it. I am not looking for a date or two either. I want to meet a woman, fall in love, and then eventually get married. But the first few dates are tough enough without tossing that into the mix. One woman I know was on a “marriage or bust plan” that pretty much scared away every guy for years.
2. Talking about what guys did/do wrong
Who wants to listen to some pre-relationship nagging? Oh I do I do! No wait, I don’t. Sure we have all had an ex that has issues. We all have issues. But I don’t want to hear about what you don’t want in a guy. What are you looking for?
3. Anything that makes you seem clingy
This is a little tougher but sometimes coming off needy or clingy is a bad thing. Sure, I want to protect and take care of a girl but if we just met the bond isn’t there yet. There is a fine line between cool and a stalker.
4. Planning Trips or Outings
In the first few dates it is cool to plan local dates. It is not cool to plan a summer vacation that includes us when it is February.
5. Your Family
A little family talk is fine but too much can be getting close to that “I can’t wait for you to meet my parents!” line. I had a girl on the second date who told me she had spoken with her mother in-detail about me already. Mom couldn’t wait to meet me! Awkward.
After the ‘boyfriend’ label has been placed on us or maybe a 4th or 5th date then sure, you can ease into this stuff. But anytime before that and the relationship is getting way too serious before we even really know you. I am still deciding on the 3rd or 4th date how much I like a person, not if I think they will look good in a wedding dress. That’s why my advice is – hold off a little while so you don’t scare the guy away.
Dating Without Drama is a website dedicated to providing relationship advice for women, from articles and guides about how to find the right man to books on dating. Paige Parker, the expert dating coach behind Dating Without Drama, is dedicated to helping women understand men better and love themselves more. Read more expert advice from Paige on Dating Without Drama.