Dating over 50 is not easy. If you don’t have love, you may feel something is missing. Here’s why.
Having arrived at 50 (and maybe sailing past that time marker) you have gathered a good amount of wisdom. You are most likely aware of what you need to be happy in life and what works for you. Yet, if you can take a few steps back to observe from the big picture of your life, are you really in touch with what you need as the bottom line?
I ask this question because so many women tell me they don’t want to have anything to do with dating or men. When they pass by my booth at a women’s event, they point to my sign about MANifesting Mr. Right and break into peels of laughter at the idea such a man could exist.
The truth is you can live a happy life without a man. That goes without saying. My questions goes a bit deeper. Is that truly what you want or have you simply shut down out of disappointment? The answer makes a tremendous difference in your ultimate happiness.
Many of my over 50 clients, once they get in touch with how much they do want love and a good man in their lives, feel deprived because of their single status. They don’t have romantic love and feel something is missing without it.
Have you ever heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? The author, Abraham Maslow, wrote about this psychological theory in a paper he published back in 1943 entitled, A Theory of Human Motivation. His basic concept which still holds today is that humans must have the first 4-5 basic needs met before they are willing to improve their lives and reach for the next level.
Maslow’s five levels include:
- Physiological – breathing, food, water, sleep, and s.e.x
- Safety – for the body, employment, resources, health, property and family
- Love – friendship, family, intimacy
- Esteem – confidence, respect for self and others, achievement
- Self actualization – creativity, morality, spontaneity, problem solving, acceptance
As you can clearly see, LOVE is #3! Not only that, but s.e.x and family safety are #1 and #2. What am I trying to say? You can be happy without a romantic partner, but if you don’t feel happy without one – there is no shame because this is a basic human NEED.
So, it stands to reason that not having a loving partner can leave people feeling incomplete. You know instinctively there could be more. This desire stems from the most fundamental psychological level. So of course you feel deprived without love!
OK, this is where the rubber meets the road…
If you feel deprived without love, what are you going to do about it?
I know how busy you are if you are dating over 50. We are all busy. How is it that some women find time or MAKE time to look for love? They DECIDE that love is on their priority list and make time. They do what it takes because it’s important.
Are you willing to do this? Can you carve out time on a weekly basis? Are you willing to invest in your own personal development and in finding love? Without this willingness, your chances become very very slim. With a willingness to make time, work on your personal development and take action, loves become realistic and completely possible.
It’s entirely up to you. As a dating coach, I know that very idea can be confronting, seem unfair and upsetting. But it is the truth. I myself faced this situation after turning 40. I was still single but it wasn’t until that landmark birthday had passed that i was willing to consider how I was possibly getting in my own way. Once I open that door, all the pieces started falling into place for me. I’ve seen this happen so many times for my clients as well.
More than anything, as your dating coach, that is exactly what I want for you too. You deserve love. If you want to find that right man for you and are dating over 50, please ask for help rather than go it alone. The dating process is far less frustrating and goes a lot faster when you seek the help of an expert.
Wishing you love,
Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.
Hi Ronnie,
What a great article. I totally agree that Love is that number 1 need. What I see is that people can find a way to meet that need for love in many different ways. I think we’d all agree that the healthiest way would be to find a loving intimate partner where all your needs are met. In the absence of that though, you can get love from a whole bunch of other ways. Self love – as in connecting with yourself and appreciating yourself. Love from children. Love from different addictions – food, alcohol and so on. All these can meet different needs.
Totally agree though that if you are stuck and can’t find what you need, then getting help whether at 30, 40, 50 or 60 makes perfect sense and there is no shame in that. If you’re stuck, then find a way to fix it. We put together some resources which your readers may find useful on a 10 step process – http://www.strictlydating.com/dating-at-40-the-10-step-guaranteed-success-plan/
Advice like this is great, but if you can have an expert work through it with you and bring each area to life, then that can make a really big difference and give you the results that you need.