Dating Over 40: Why Aren’t You Married? One Woman’s Opinion

I just stumbled across a blog from the Huffington Post by Tracy McMillan, a TV writer for Madmen among other things. Traceyhas given the plight of adult single woman a thought of serious thought and shares her insights with a sharp tongue. But her words have a ring of truth to them. You can read the whole article here, but I will recap it for you. In addition, I will add a few more things that Tracy left out from my perspective as a dating coach.

Tracy says you are one of these types of women which is causing you to remain single:

1. Bitch – men don’t like angry women, they like nice women who are pleasant to be around
2. Shallow – you aren’t thinking about  a man’s character first which is what makes him a good life partner and you get distracted by his height, money, job, etc.
3.  Slut – you’re giving the milk away for free and casual sex will prevent you from finding a marriage-minded man
4. Liar – yes you lie to yourself and to him when he says he only wants something casual and you say “OK”
5. Selfish – you only think about yourself and what you’ll get from him, when marriage requires that you give
6. Not Good Enough – you’re looking for a man who is better than you because who you aren’t good enough alone

Ouch – Tracy that’s harsh! But I gotta tell ya, she makes some very savvy points. When you peel back those mean-spirited titles, you get a better understanding of what she’s saying and how it might actually (horrors) apply to you.

As a dating coach for women dating over 40 and dating after divorce, I feel McMillan missed a few additional reasons that I want to share with you as well:

7. Sloth – yes, you maybe too tired or just plain lazy and can’t be bothered taking care of yourself or getting out there to meet new people. Yet, this is what is required to meet enough men to find one you can connect with. You’ve got to put yourself out there even when you’re tired because you know its the only way you’ll ever find a good man.

8.  No imagination – because you can’t find a way to believe or imagine love could happen for you. However, without this belief, finding a loving partner is more than extremely difficult – its virtually impossible.

9. Challenged – your feelings that women are far superior causes you to have disdain for men and maybe feel men should take you as you are. Why should you have to wear makeup, look your best or do anything for that matter to get a man?

Don’t worry, I’m not mean like Tracy.

I know how hard midlife dating can because I’ve been there, done it and successfully found my Mr. Right!  No matter which of these nine negative descriptors surprisingly sound like you, I share proven strategies to help you successfully turn them around.

Finding love is possible today if you can wake up to what has kept you single until now. NOW is the moment of power. In your awareness of where you may have gone wrong, you NOW have the ability to try something different. And that is exactly when you can start to have new and different experiences!

Don’t let these harsh adjectives determine your romantic future. Figure out what is keeping you single, then call me. When you choose to work with me as your dating coach, I will support you in taking the needed steps to shift your perspective and change your romantic karma once and for all.

There is a lid to every pot. A mac to every cheese. A silver lining for every dark cloud. Make this the moment you look back on and recognize as that pivotal point when you turned your love life around and got on the path that lead you to meet Mr. Right. He is out there waiting for you to fly right and cross his path.

Don’t make him wait too long.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

2 thoughts on “Dating Over 40: Why Aren’t You Married? One Woman’s Opinion”

  1. Wow, Ronnie, are you ever on the money! (And so was the Huffington Post article.) I agree with everything you and she said. So is the first step to recovery admitting I have a problem? And just because I don’t want kids, does that make me selfish?

    • Cynthia, thanks for your comments. And no, wanting kids is not a reuqirement for a healthy relationship. Kids aren’t for everyone and that is appropriate! Plenty of people (like me for instance) have child-less relationships that are healthy, supportive, growth-oriented and/or fun. Selfish is more about focusing on what you can get than on what you can share. If you can share who you are and what you have, you are all set, not to worry.

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