Dating Over 40: What Happens When You Still Want More?

OK, I’ll admit it – I want more. Today’s desire is rooted in envy. A friend of mine just discovered there’s a blogger on a local newspaper website who writes about her dating adventures and those of her friends as well as her life – like a personal journal – but on the paper’s web site!

I know, I know that was my reaction too! Why did she get chosen as the local dating blogger? I thought that was my place in the world – at least this little local piece of it. I want to do that job!

Luckily, I didn’t spend too long in this place of envy. A voice inside me brought me back to reason, asking, “Is this how you want to spend your day? Freaking about what someone else has achieved rather than on the positive manifestation of what you want to accomplish and what is already wonderful in my life?

Thanks to that voice for waking me up to the non-productive, time-wasting line of thought. There is nothing I can do about the success or failure of anyone else. I only have control over what I do. And even then, I need to be flexible, clever and shift to address the never ending changes life presents.

Now, let me explain what this has to do with dating…besides being triggered by the dating blogger. Finding love is a goal like every other goal.

That’s why your ability to shift your thoughts to more productive areas can be one of the best skills you develop during your dating journey. No kidding. As you can see, this skill applies to all areas of life. So when you master the process in your dating world – think how well you’ll be able to leverage this skill in other areas?

Here’s the bottom line:

When you notice that you are spending too much time envious of another’s love or dating experiences; when it looks like everyone else has an easier time or some other woman found a great guy like you want; or your sister has found love and you haven’t…

STOP! Ask yourself this amazingly powerful question:

Is this thinking making me feel good and positive or minimizing my happiness? Could I be thinking happier, more productive thoughts that build my self-esteem and support my desires? Uuuhh yeah!

And that’s when you shift your thoughts to positive thinking about what you do want and how good it feels. Act as if you have reached your goal. Imagine the blessings that follow. This is how to manifest your desires.

Negative thinking never helps us to feel good or live positively. And it is a challenge to catch yourself and make this shift. But the pay off is HUGE and amazing.

And, even if for some unknown reason you don’t manage to create your dream, you still win because you spent more time feeling good and thinking positively rather than making yourself absolutely miserable which by the way, we are all very good at.

I hope you’ll give this some thought today and start to recognize these thinking patterns. The first step is to notice. The next step is to do something about it by shifting the old way to a new, more positive, happy thought process.  I’m right there with you working on it myself.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

Leave a Comment