Dating Over 40: Is Your Ambivalence about Love Holding You Back?

So you are over 40, divorced or single and say you want to find a good life partner? Great! What are you doing to make that desire come true?

As a dating coach for women dating over 40 or dating after divorce, I’ve seen and heard so much – I’m sure you can imagine. But the one thing that often surprises me most is when a woman tells me how much she wants to find love and yet, she does almost nothing to create this reality.

How can this be? There are many possible reasons. Maybe you want love but:

You are afraid to be vulnerable again, still healing from love gone wrong.
You don’t want to relinquish your freedom and prefer independence
You don’t want to go through “that” again, thinking every relationship will turn out exactly the same
You don’t have time to date, having filled every spare moment of your life
You don’t believe there are any good men left so wonder if you should even bother
You feel its all simply too difficult

I could fill pages with reasons like this – and you could too. It’s easy  and you can probably relate to many of these statements. Even though they aren’t true, they can FEEL true if you let them.

These are actually, excuses hiding your ambivalence. If you think that pursuing love and dating are useless, OF COURSE YOU DON’T WANT TO PUT YOUR TIME AND EFFORT INTO IT!

Often, your ambivalence is your own worst enemy. The human condition is to want to be right. Naturally we look for evidence that we are right. That means you will notice all the examples that prove your case and support your excuses.

On the other hand, when you believe finding love is a real possibility, you will see evidence to support this position. I can tell you from my own personal experience and the thousands of people I have coached, finding love is REAL. It happens every day.

When I was single and in my 30’s, did I believe this? Nope. Not for 18 years of my adult life. But when I turned 40 and freaked out to  still be single and never married, I knew something had to change.

The biggest shift I made was to DECIDE that it was time to believe in love. I focused fiercely on the truth that love existed and the right man was out there for me. I drowned my ambivalence and pushed it out of my life, replacing this with a firm insistence that I would find love and HE (the right man) would find me.

I can tell you – it worked.

And this has worked for countless women. Once you decide to work with me as your dating coach, I will tell you that to find love, you must believe. Chase the ambivalence away. Discover methods that you can use to hold your positive focus. Instill a sense of hope and deep knowing that all your efforts will bare fruit – MANifesting the love you want, long for and most definitely deserve.

If you need help to strengthen or even establish a belief in love, you could benefit from my audio: I Believe: Affirmations to Find Love Now. This audio program has three “meditations” of different lengths, all designed to strengthen and build your belief in love, belief in yourself, and belief that the right man for you is out there. The meditations use the Law of Attraction by applying affirmations to reach your subconscious mind – the place where all manifesting begins.

And it’s at a special price right now, but that will be changing at the end of this month. Get your audio program now when you click here.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

Leave a Comment