Dating Over 40: How to Trust the Universe to Deliver Love

Trust the Universe - Law of Attraction

Yesterday was a tough one. I had a very big business disappointment in which an exciting partnership dissolved. We were going along smoothly, and then suddenly it was over. Just like that.

Just like the way it can be when dating a man.

As a professional dating coach, I constantly see parallels between dating situations and the rest of life. Even though I’ve been happily married now for 10 years, these analogies show up frequently, keeping how it feels to be on the dating journey for my clients, and what I personally went through, alive and vibrant in my mind.

So what do you do after a huge disappointment?
How do you handle the shock and shake it off?
How do you start the  healing process?

I write in my journal and like to walk. After I hung up the receiver from speaking with my now defunct partner, I felt I had to be close to the earth. Knowing that the CT heatwave was blazing outside my door didn’t deter me. I had to walk in my backyard. So out I went, walking in the grass, looking at the flowers and connecting to nature. That was step one. Keeping myself grounded and holding onto to any sort of balance I could.

I knew how this kind of disappointment could affect me. But would I let myself slide down to that dark inner place where I’ve spent time before in this type of situation? I don’t want to go there any more. A strong desire to work through things in a new way kept me moving. Managing your energy is crucial for the Law of Attraction to work its magic.

Later, at 8:30pm, I drove to the beach to take another walk. For me, the ocean (OK Long Island Sound) is very healing. I strolled on the wet sand just below the water line, noticing the beach debris at my feet. Looking out at the hazy, post-sunset horizon, the water was calm which soothed my spirit.

The air  was still so hot and sticky, I didn’t want to stay long and decided to walk to the edge of a fence as my destination. Then I went a few steps further, because I felt like it.

That’s when I saw it. Writing in the sand. All capital letters about two inches high scraped into the wet sand safely above the water’s edge. TRUST – that’s the word. I was taken aback to say the least. I looked around to see who could have done this? Who put this message on the beach for me? But there was no one to be found any where nearby.

Obviously some human left this message. But I couldn’t find the author.

When I returned home, telling the story to my husband helped it gel in my mind.

Trust. Trust what? Not my defunct partner? The rug had been yanked and firmly removed. So that wasn’t it. Who else should I trust? My husband suggested I should trust myself. Not a bad thought. Some real wisdom there and good advice. Trusting our own instincts is crucial to survival. Recovering from a big shake up like this requires self-esteem and trust in one’s own judgment.

But still I felt the message was bigger. TRUST with all capital letters… Trust in the UNIVERSE. Trust in the bigger picture, the one I don’t have the perspective to see. For I do not know what is yet to unfold and how things will work out. But when I trust in the Universe, I can feel calm and have that sense of knowing that of course everything is working out for the best

1. My business partner was not the right partner for me. If it had been right, we would still be partners.
2. Another partner, a better partner  is out there. Another truth to trust in.
3. Something better for my business is on its way to me. I must remain open and believe that good things are possible so that I can remain ready to receive.

Do you see the parallels between my story as a business person and dating coach and yours as a dater?

As I turn this over in my mind and work through it to move to a better place, I share the process with you, hoping that you will find solace in it. And,  that you can use a similar process to work through your own disappointments more quickly, allowing you to trust again and stay open to what is still available.

The right partner is out there
Love does exist for you
Everything is a matter of timing
Keep your belief strong and trust in yourself and the Universe to deliver.

Attitude is everything. That’s how the Law of Attraction works. Like attracts like. The quicker I can recover and trust that what is mine is coming to me, the faster I can attract the right business situation. And the quicker you can attract the love you want and deserve.

photo credit: Cougar studio

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

4 thoughts on “Dating Over 40: How to Trust the Universe to Deliver Love”

  1. Great post Ronnie. It’s sooooooo easy to get in the dumps and be tempted to stay there but often very hard to keep that positive attitude 24/7. I fell off the wagon recently myself. Your post brings good perspective.

  2. Thanks Cathy and Krista for your comments and encouragement. I’m doing so much better, managing my energy and staying on an even keel. I know a guy who no matter what happens in his life, his response is, “Things are going better than I could have possibly imagined.” it works for him and inspires me, as you both do. Thanks again!

  3. Thank you for sharing.

    Trust is such a big issue. Partnerships ending can be a time for grieving and partnerships dissolving unexpectedly, even worse.

    However I do trust the universe (God or whatever you wish to call this infinitely wise one) that there is something better for you.

    You are the second inspirational woman I know in recent weeks that has had a partnership dissolve unexpectedly.

    I know for me that whether it be in my personal or business life, that disappointments open the way to something better!

    Chin up and keep us updated when the better thing comes along!

  4. Ronnie, what a great story! I can’t agree more either. We all need to TRUST ourselves more, as well as, TRUST in the Universe. I believe we are always being divinely guided on our journey and when one thing, be it a job, a friend, a home, a partner, etc. falls away, it is so we can allow something/someone even greater to come into our life. Sometimes it can be devastating to say the least, but usually as time passes and we gain perspective, we see what wasn’t clear to us while we were in it. Thanks for sharing.


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