Dating Over 40: How I Met My Man

hawaiiLet me tell you about my client Annie. Recently, I presented a workshop at her farm-learning/meditation center. Annie was in one of the very first dating coaching groups I ran seven years ago. She was 40, a divorced mother of two teenagers who worked crazy hours, but she still managed to attend the group every other week.

Apparently, Annie really listened to the suggestions and put them to work. I just found all this out when she told her story as she sat in on my class a few weeks ago. I knew she had met the man of her dreams but I never really heard the details of how it all came to be. This is Annie’s story.

After finishing up with my dating coaching group, Annie was convinced to be brave and try the Internet. She posted a profile and made a very bold decision. She decided she wanted to date 30 men in 90 days.  (Heck it took me 15 months to date that many men.) Her thought  was to simply throw herself into dating to see what happened and get comfortable with the process.

Annie explained to my recent group how even though she didn’t have that much time to date, given two teenagers and a busy work schedule, she was devoted to make something happen. So she carved time out when ever she could for coffee/wine dates and met as many men as possible.

Turns out this worked wonders for Annie. After being married for many years, getting back out there felt a little bit daunting. But it didn’t take long for her to get in the swing once she decided to go for it.

Truth be told, Annie didn’t meet her man during this three month period. What she did discover was who she was as a mid-life dater and how to navigate the sometimes rough waters of the singles scene. She became more and more comfortable and gained confidence with each new man. (This is exactly the purpose of my 100 Day Challenge Telelclass which will start again in January, 2010.)

She made a list of what she wanted in a partner including a man who lived part time in Hawaiii -that’s pretty specific. Her profile also stated that she wanted a man who would build a stone wall with her – not your average request.  A few months after her whirlwind dating tour, Annie was talking with a friend who suddenly asked out of the blue, “Would you date a man with white hair?” Annie replied “Sure!”

That’s how she met Tim, a master stone mason with a farm in F airfield county and another in Hawaii.  She was nice enough to announce to the whole group  that night, that she totally credits her success to my original dating coaching group and me. I was astonished and thrilled.

I tell you this story because it does make me feel good of course. But my real reason is to encourage you to adopt Annie’s attitude. Decide you are going to get comfortable with dating. Stop putting up road blocks about men and time. Find a way like Annie did and you too can make love a reality in your life.

Whether you choose to meet 30 men, or just date until you find “the one”, the idea is the same. Get started. Meet lots of men. Stop criticizing them and start learning what is good about each person. You don’t need to settle, but you do need to open your heart to men and love. Make room in your life – the space you create is where the right man for you will fit in.

It happened for Annie. It happened for me. It happened for many others who took my over 40 dating coaching workshops, telelclasses or private coaching. It happens every day all over the world.

Love is real and it can happen to you.

Photo Credit: Simonds

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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