Are you sick of dating? Feeling frustrgated with the singles scene? Feel like you will just keel over if you have to attend one more event?
I get it believe me. I understand. And what do I recommend to my over 40 dating coaching clients when they start feeling like this? Time Off!
This goal of finding love is the same as anything else. Just like a job even, you need a vacation to stay fresh and be your most effective. Same goes for dating if you are getting too stressed out about it, stop.
Sometimes dating is a total blast. Other times, not so fun. It’s all comes with the territory. Part of the package deal so to speak. You need to learn to cope with what comes at you and roll with it – the good with…the not so good. Really that’s how life is right?
Take today for example. I had issues with paypal, my web host, and trying to upload some files. I blew my top sorry to say. But hey, I’m human and this stuff happens. I could get all mad at myself for the choice words I shared with the paypal folks. Or I could admit that I need time off. Everyone needs some down time to get revived and feel refreshed. I’m glad its the end of the day on Friday. The weekend is looking really good right now even if there’s a hurricane brewing.
When you hit that spot when dating just plain sucks – acknowledge that you are human and take a vacation from it all. But, don’t let it go on for too long. If love is a priority, then you’ll have to get back out there. Whether you are dating after divorce or looking to get married the first time – its’ the same.
You get to decide how much time you need to be able to approach the whole scene again with a fresh and open perspective. Hang with your girlfriends, go away for the weekend or take a real vacation. Try a new hobby or get engrossed in a past time you love. Exercise, do yoga, write in your journal, watch a bevy of funny movies. Whatever it takes.
When you start feeling better – start dating again.
Kids need time out and so do adults. Allow yourself this option. Many of my dating coaching clients need help getting started. Others who are dating over 40 need to relax and take things easier. You know which camp you are in. If you need to take a break – do it with gusto! Enjoy your single status and make the most of it. Being single can be fantastic and many tout its freedom-filled benefits.
Then return to dating with a new outlook, a fresh perspective and a clean slate. To borrow a phrase from Zen, if you approach dating with “beginner’s mind”, you will be more likely to take things with a grain of salt, not beat yourself up (or anyone else) and look at each outing as an adventure.