Dating Over 40: Do You Have Only One Soulmate?

Do you have only one soulmate?

What does “Soulmate” mean to you?

According to, it is a noun, meaning: “A person with whom one has a strong affinity.” That is so lack luster and dull for a word with so much emotional zest.

Many of my dating coaching clients talk about seeking their soulmate. They feel there is one special person who is the perfect match. A wonderful, miraculous individual who solves all their problems and brings boundless joy to their life.

That’s not exactly my perspective.

Do I think there is just one person who is the perfect match for you? No. I’m not of that belief. My perspective is that there are a few people who could suit you nicely and make a great partner. Of course you only NEED one – isn’t that great?

A lot depends on how you define the term “Soul” itself. Neale Donald Walsch author of Conversations with God, describes the “Soul” as a group of individuals that you incarnate with over eons. With this understanding, he says your soulmate is just that, a partner or mate from the same soul, whom you recognize in life.

I’ve heard this theory before from the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, PH. D. Now we’re getting deep into some philosophy, but I hope you’ll come with me 🙂

Michael is a hypnotherapist who regressed clients, not to past lives, but the time IN BETWEEN  lives. He claims we have “pods” of other souls we are connected to and we reincarnate over and over again with the agreement to help each to evolve and learn life’s lessons.

Both Neale and Michael say the same thing – your soul mates might not be romantic partners, but could take on many other roles including parents, siblings, best friends and even your enemies. That IS deep. This concept certainly puts a new twist on the term “Soulmate” doesn’t it?

Thinking about it this way, you can see that just because you are soulmates with someone, doesn’t mean you will be romantically right for each other.  Some relationships are meant to be, while others seem like they were meant to be, but don’t work out. This new way of defining soulmates can help you start to feel OK if you found a soulmate, but didnt’ stay together.

The point is, I don’t believe there is only one perfect soulmate for you. I do know that your soulmate is not “perfect”. Although, he might be “perfect for you” and there’s a tremendous difference between those two ideas.

If you are holding on to the idea of seeking your one perfect soulmate, as your dating coach, I have a request. See if you can broaden that search to include seeking one of your “soulmates”, the potential partners who would be a good match. This way, you won’t wait for perfection, and will hopefully be open to a man who is wonderful and human all at the same time.

Wishing you love!

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

5 thoughts on “Dating Over 40: Do You Have Only One Soulmate?”

  1. Vicki – don’t worry about your soulmate being aborted – from my belief system, those souls hadn’t settled in to their earth bodies yet. Your soulmates from your pod are out there. Just keep believing nad meeting new people. You are bound to find a few for sure!

  2. Great post on soul mates! I will have to find that book and read it too. I am very interested in hypnotherapy, and using it to break unconscious behavior patterns that “talk therapy” just can’t fix. I’m a member of Generation X — the most aborted generation in American history — and I have sometimes wondered if maybe the reason I haven’t met my soulmate yet could be because his mother aborted him? Yes, morbid thoughts! But, I like the idea of traveling with other “pod people” (LOL) who could also be my soulmates. That way, it’s not just a one-off deal and you’re done.

  3. I used to think there was a ‘soul-mate’ for everyone. Now not so sure. I think we attract the type of people into our lives that we need to teach us important life lessons.

  4. “The point is, I don’t believe there is only one perfect soulmate for you. I do know that your soulmate is not “perfect”. Although, he might be “perfect for you” and there’s a tremendous difference between those two ideas.”

    I agree. none of us is perfect, but we’re all perfect for someobody. A number of guys will be perfect for you.

    And when things don’t work out with a person we perceived as a soulmate, it’s unproductive and unhealthy to become obsessed with the idea that we’ve ruined our one chance for love with the one person destiny intended for us. The earth is populated with other potential soulmates.

    Move on.


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