Dating Over 40: Swims at the Shallow End of the Pool

weighing in on the issue
weighing in on the issue

OMG! I just heard about this unbelievable move by a now infamous dating website. Have any of you over 40 daters heard about this?

At – members vote if you fit their beauty standards for this elite site. If that isn’t scary enough, they took this to the next level.  After the holidays, management put literally thousands of members up for a revote.  The reason?  Possible holiday weight gain.

Guess what? 5,000 members were voted off the island!

My question is -how was this decided? Did these members have  post-holiday photos up or does the site have some cyber link directly to members’ bathroom scales?

Here’s what Robert Hintze, founder of has to say about this action.

“As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which was founded,” This was reported in an article about the recent demise of so many members.

Are you as shocked and befuddled as I am? Excuse me? Fatties? How fat could these people be if they got voted on in the first place. I can’t help but think this was a poorly thought out PR ploy to get attention. Like Madonna says, even bad publicity is good publicity. Do you think there are skinny folks now so curious to see if they can cut the mustard that they are lining up to be voted on? Does give one pause…

Ah, the price of beauty is very high. What a great site this must be, packed with quality members that have their priorities in order.  I’m sure it’s hard to choose among the vast assortment of shallow-minded hotties.

Would you even want to be associated with such a site? Honestly, I think they did the ousted members a favor. Maybe now these singles will have a chance to find real prospects for a love based on more than the percentage of body fat.

I would most certainly advise my dating coaching clients who are dating over 40 or dating after divorce to steer clear of this dubious online community.  There are plenty of other sites to find prospects. Don’t bother with this nonsense!

Care to weigh in on this one?

Oh my, sorry for the pun there – just couldn’t help myself!

photo credit: playingwithbrushes

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

6 thoughts on “Dating Over 40: Swims at the Shallow End of the Pool”

  1. Dean – Good marketing suits only the site, not the patrons. I can’t argue with the marketing, just the premise of voting who’s in and who’s not. Superficial is as superficial does – they get what they signed up for that is true. I have no objection to the need to find someone attractive, just the mechanism and sole critieria. Come on – that is the very definition of shallow.

  2. To call the site shallow is way of the mark – keep in mind physical beauty is what attracts most people to each other in the beginning. When we look at this site in black and white – it all becomes clear – it is what all businesses should be – Market orientated – it gives its members what it wants. Most dating sites will allow you to filter age, sex, interests – but only one can filter physical beauty. THIS ONE.

    Calling “banning 5000 fat members” a poorly thought out PR ploy is wrong.

    I work in online Marketing – trust me – this campaign worked. how? they lose 5000 members to gain 50,000 more.

  3. I think I’d actually prefer it if they didn’t want me!! 🙂 I would never want to be limited by a definition like “beautiful person” which I feel is so generic and bland. It’s almost like they are saying “there’s nothing remarkable about you” because anything outside the norm or average would be defined as not beautiful.
    I can’t imagine a bigger turn-off than meeting a man and having him tell me he was a member on that site. I think my immediate response would be “Seriously? B’bye.”
    I prefer to swim at the deeper end of the pool… far away from the tan beds, botox and dental veneers.

  4. I’m just speechless at the cruelty of that. I guess if thats what you value most in another human being…beauty and no holiday weight gain…then this is the dating site for you! Hope you meet THEIR standards.

    I wonder about someone who would put themselves out there on a dating site like that to be voted upon for their appearance alone, in much the same way that I wonder about people on most “reality” TV shows.

  5. YOWIE Batman! This is exactly the kind of message that people LISTEN to, and unfortunately internalize!

    The human pysche is so fragile and everyone deserves to be respected for their uniqueness. I hope you all find this as revolting as I and thank Ronnie for bringing yet another ugly attempt to bury our (already delicate!) over 40 self esteem.


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