Beth, one of my over 40 dating coaching clients is feeling down about her dating journey. Things aren’t happening the way she’d like and frankly, so many men who contact her on Match.com are simply irritating.
I asked what she meant. “Well’, they wink, but don’t write. Or email but clearly haven’t read my profile. Or worse, they disappear or are just plain creepy!”
I sympathize with Beth. We all know how this can be. Beth is frustrated because she really wants to move on and find the right relationship and the men who contact her are “truly awful and disheartening!”
Don’t focus on What You Don’t Want
While Beth’s feelings are understandable and justifiable, they are impeding her progress. Thinking this way sends out the wrong signals to the Universe and is self-sabotaging. She never looked at her thought process this way before. By focusing on these facts alone, she is allowing the Law of Attraction to bring her more of what she doesn’t want. Like attracts like – that’s how it works.
Focus on What You Want
Think about it…when Beth is irritated with men, she sends the “vibe of irritation” out into the cosmos. Not very attractive when you look at it this way is it? Instead, to use the Law of Attraction more effectively, Beth needs to concentrate on what she does want.
A Powerful Shift in Perspective Builds Magnetism
What will help Beth is to shift her perspective on these interactions with men. When you choose to work with me as your dating coach, you’ll see clearly how this makes a tremendous difference. For example, I coached Beth to recognize that these men, while not right for her, are showing their appreciation of her. They find her attractive and that is a good thing! She can use this to build her confidence, seeing these interactions as proof of her attractiveness.
I tell my clients to silently thank any man who finds you attractive and them move on. Delete their emails, walk away or whatever. You don’t have to talk to these men or like them. Just appreciate being appreciated. This is a far more MAGNETIC way to process these situations and apply the Law of Attraction.
The more you appreciate yourself and focus on what is working in the dating arena and life in general, the more magnetic you will become. It may not be easy to make this shift – it will take time and effort. But the rewards are outrageous and highly worthwhile – MANifesting what you want in life, namely: love with the right man for you.
photo credit: mscaprikell