Dating After Divorce: Where Are the Men Who Want to Get Serious?

Sunday night, Maddy called to inquire about coaching. We started talking about how her dating life is going and what prompted her to make the call. Maddy is very frustrated with men. She feels that they don’t want to commit or aren’t interested in finding a serious relationship.

You know how that can feel. If you’ve been out there dating, chances are this thought has crossed your mind as well. And sometimes, you do meet a series of guys who just want to date around with no strings attached. It can be frustrating. I totally understand.

What’s getting in her way?

Maddy only feels comfortable going to singles dances. She likes to dance and knows where the places are that host these events. As far as Maddy is concerned, she’s “all set” with how to meet men. But she wants to know how to meet men who want a serious commitment.

Maddy, who is 48 and has been divorced for three years, only wants to meet men who are 48-50 years old. That’s a pretty small age range. Regardless of the limitations that her desired age range creates, Maddy is unwilling to consider broadening her horizons.

The Problem
Maddy has a narrow approach and age range for the men she’ll consider. No wonder why she is having problems finding a good man!  The more you limit your dating, the smaller the dating pool to choose from! This isn’t rocket science.

Yet, I could tell Maddy there was no moving her on these ideas. She doesn’t like to drive at night and knowing where she’s going minimizers her night driving concerns. She doesn’t think it’s reasonable to date men younger  and the last thing she wants is to date  older men. So there we have it –  two big obstacles in Maddy’s dating path.

Want to know the single biggest obstacle to Maddy’s dating karma? Maddy herself. Yup, that’s right. Because if a woman can’t open up to suggestions and new ideas, even when asking for help, she is in her own way. She is the impediment to her desire.

The Good News
Maddy has the power to change her dating karma dramatically. There are steps she can take to turn things around and meet a whole lot more men – exactly what she needs.

The Solution
Here are a few simple suggestions that can make a tremendous difference for Maddy:

1. Locate a few other ways to meet men. Get directions and drive to the locations during the day light hours, maybe on the weekend. She’ll  become familiar with how to get there and will feel more comfortable at night.

2. Widen the “net” to meet men who are 43 – 55 which will provide so many more prospects! Maddy will have a chance to get to know men from a much larger dating pool which  may help her connect with men who are more suitable and willing to commit.

3. Start using an affirmation that reinforces there are plenty of  good men who are relationship and commitment ready. Maddy may believe that there is a shortage of good men! She can combat that belief with affirmations which is a  positive statement, said in the present tense, that works it’s way into your subconscious mind.  That’s the place where all manifesting begins.

If you are having trouble finding good men to date and relate to Maddy’s problems, try these simple ideas. You can modify the steps to better match your own obstacles. These steps will definitely work – but only if you give them a try.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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