Why Is Dating After Divorce So Hard?

Wondering – why is dating after divorce so hard? Find out why, then discover what you can do to make it easier to find love.

why-is-dating-after-divorce-so-hardThe Challenges of Dating After Divorce

If you’re dating after divorce to find lasting love it’s not easy. Sometimes it feels like you are looking for that proverbial needle in a hay stack. Yet, people fall in love every day. So why is dating after divorce so hard for you and not others?

Once you’ve been married, you have had experiences that sometimes become emotional “baggage”. You may have trust issues or a broken heart from your last relationship. If you are serious about finding a healthy, loving partnership, invest in healing your past and learning from it so the next time around you find a more compatible mate.

Below are a number of issues that crop up for people who are divorced which make dating more difficult  and what you can do about each of them.

1.Heal Your Broken Heart

If you’re ex left or cheated on you, you probably have a broken heart. Of course you can recover, but it takes time and personal growth. All too often women jump back into the dating pool, thinking the solution to a broken heart is to find a new love.

Honestly, this often leads to repeating the same mistakes and more heartbreak. A broken heart makes you needy and prevents you from being objective about the men you date. As a result, you make choices that are not in your long-term best interest in an effort to find a new partner and avoid being alone. It’s best to heal first.

2. Examine What Went Wrong

I’m sure your ex heavily contributed to your breakup. But, be realistic and think about what your part might have been. Your willingness to look within and consider your role is a huge piece of healing that should not be side stepped.

It’s time to grow based on your past mistakes – either in picking the wrong man who was not a compatible match or by putting up with poor or abusive behavior.

When you take time to objectively assess what happened, that’s your chance to learn about relationships and yourself. This step is vitally important to finding love again with a more compatible partner and hopefully to find a relationship that is healthy and lasts.

3. Regain Trust


If you want to find love, you need to not only trust yourself when it comes to making the right selection, but also learn to trust men again. Naturally, this can take some time. One thing that can really help is to learn about what’s happening with dating today and what is working.

My bestselling book Is He The One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong will reveal the “tricks” some midlife men play who don’t want a serious relationship. Once you know what to look for, it’s easy to identity the guys who are sure to waste your time. Armed with this knowledge, you’ll be able to trust yourself more as you choose more wisely.

4. Get Clear about What You Want

The best way to find the right man is to know who you are looking for. Is he smart, supportive with a good sense of humor? Maybe you prefer an active man who is social and politically conservative. Whatever might work for you, get crystal clear, so you can easily weed out men who don’t align with your values.

My dating advice is to also picture the kind of relationship you want. Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry again – admit that to yourself. If you’d prefer a long-term committed relationship, but don’t even want to live together, that’s fine too.

Knowing what you want is essential to finding the right mate. For example, if you want a lasting relationship and you meet a man who isn’t looking for anything serious – that’s a problem. You’ll never “convert” a man who wants a casual relationship.  Discover how to spot these casual men quickly in my book Is He The One

5. Learn about Modern Dating

When was the last time you dated? If it was more than 10 years ago, you’ve got some catching up to do! Things have changed in dating and you need to find out what’s happening and what works best to find love again.

Without this knowledge, which you can find by reading blogs like mine, you could push away quality men without even realizing it. That’s why you need to know how things have changed, so you don’t mess up a good opportunity when it comes your way.

In addition, you’ll need help understanding men and the difference between what they say and do. This gap between their words and actions sends you mixed signals which are often confusing and sometimes even disturbing. However, once you understand what is really going on, you’ll know what step to take next.

You Can Find Love Again After Divorce

So, if you’ve been asking everyone you know, “Why is dating after divorce so hard?” now you know the reasons and what you can do to turn things around. Please keep in mind that finding love again is COMPLETELY POSSIBLE!

Invest in yourself – the time and energy it takes to heal, examine what happened, and learn from mistakes. Discover what works today to find love, apply your learning and you’ll be in the perfect place to find lasting love with a fabulous partner.

People fall in love every day, why not you? Go for it!

If you are not an audible member, you can get my book Is he The One? Find Mr. Right By Spotting Mr. Wrong for Free. Click here to get your copy on audible.com


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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