Dating After Divorce: Negative Outlook on Dating? Turn that Around!

Hi Ronnie,

I have dated in over four years now. I’m tired of thinking about it even though I haven’t been out there in a while. All the cheating men that are in the news. All my girlfriends who aren’t so happily married.  All my own sad stories and disappoints. How can I face getting back out there? I wish I could just go to Simms and pick up a man from last season half price rather than go through the whole dating all over again.

Can you help me?
Shopping Around

Dear Shopping,

I have to laugh because my girlfriends and I used to talk about the very same thing – why can’t we just pick out a husband at Filene’s Basement – so many great bargains there! I miss that store.

But that is not how things work. In order to find a husband, you’ll have to actually meet men and date them. While it’s true, it does take time and perseverance, its the only way to reach the goal of marriage.

To help, sounds like you could use some support for turning around that negative attitude. About men. About dating. About the whole shebang! Well you are in luck, because as your dating coach, that’s exactly what I’m here for!

3 Tips to Kick Negativity to the Curb

1. Forget the News!
Forget TV, magazines, radio and everything you read on the Internet (except for what’s right here of course). When you stop here, you can count on getting encouragement and something positive about men, dating and finding love. (Of course there are some other great resources too) The rest of the world you cannot control. Since you are bothered by the sensationalizing the media does about relationships, the only solution is to not pay any attention.

Today, sadly, the media is more entertainment than news, even when they claim to be telling you the news. That’s because most media conglomerates have made the news a profit center where it used to not be so. Now, they have to make sure you watch and in order to ensure viewers, the media sensationalizes anything that pulls on your heart strings!

Back in 1987, Newsweek ran an infamous article about how unmarried women over 35 had more of a chance of being abducted by terrorists than getting married. This is utter nonsense. but hey, it sure sold magazines! I was furious and freaked out at the time. But I didn’t get kidnapped, I got married to a great man.

Don’t believe everything you see, hear and read. The media’s slant will never make you feel good about any topic. Thats’ not their job any more. Instead, they worry about capturing viewers and making profits on the news.

2.  Look for Happy Couples
Happy couples do exist! They are out there. But if you don’t set your internal radar to notice this, you won’t see it. Think of it this way. After you buy a new car, you naturally will start seeing so many of the same car on the road. Why is that? Did everyone buy the same car on the same day? Nope! But your radar is now set to see the car you bought to reinforce your decision. And so you just notice more of them, but they were always there on the road driving by.

To make the shift, you’ll need to set an intention that you want to notice happy couples. You can repeat this to yourself when you get in the car, when you awaken in the morning, when you go out to dinner. This works amazingly well! And when you start to see happy couples, your belief in love and the possibility of finding it yourself will increase significantly.

Part of this shift will be based on a Hawaiian Shaman Principle – “Energy Flows Where Attention Goes”. This is very powerful, so put it work for you as soon as you stop reading this post.

3.  Drop Your Baggage
Everyone has a sad story or two. Very few people get away without a broken heart at some point. The trick is, how do you handle those stories? Do you carry them around in Louis Vuitton luggage, showing them off to the world and preserving them for all eternity in style? I don’t recommend that.

You will need to find a way to let that stuff go. While it is your personal love history, keeping it front and center in your mind prevents you from connecting to true love again.  One way to do this is to create an affirmation that says something like, “I learn from my past and I move forward to find love.” or “I am getting over this now.”

These positive statements work to counteract your negative beliefs and feelings in your subconscious mind. Consistent repetition will seep into your brain and start to shift your natural thought patterns to healing and getting over these things now. Every day you will feel better. Positive thinking is proven and works.

Try any of these methods or get serious and use them all! And then get back out there to find the love you want and deserve. The right man for you is waiting for you to cross his path. Help him by getting out there again soon.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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