Dating After Divorce: Do You Have Enough Self-Esteem to Date?

dating after divorce
Dating After Divorce? Love Yourself First

Divorce can crush your self-esteem. I don’t need to tell you that  – you already know. The end of any relationship can rock your self-confidence as you wonder what went wrong and what you could have done differently.

I understand how tough this can be. Many of my dating coaching clients have felt the same way and what they found working with me is that rebuilding confidence is not only possible, but very necessary to finding a healthy, new relationship.

Without strong self worth, you may end up making poor choices as you look for love. The best relationships are grounded in valuing yourself and knowing what a great catch you are. This is how you ensure that you don’t fall for the wrong guy who doesn’t treat you right, is controlling, or chips away at your self esteem.

Here are three methods to think about and determine which might be the most helpful to you. When you choose to work with me as your coach for dating over 40 or dating after divorce, you’ll see how effective these exercises can be.

1. All love starts with self love
Do you love yourself? Do you know what a great person you are and how much you have to offer? If you can’t agree with this statement then it’s time to strengthen your ability to love yourself.

This may seem like a confronting exercise but it’s one the most powerful, proven tactics to build self love. So take this opportunity very seriously because it really works.

Every morning when you awake and before you go to sleep, look in the mirror and say “I love you” to yourself. At first this may seem ridiculous, silly or very uncomfortable. But with time and consistency, it will start to influence how you feel about yourself

2. Appreciate yourself
What do you like about how you look? Even if you are highly critical of yourself, you must have something that is attractive to men. And especially if you are self-critical, this is a great exercise for you. Pick a feature you like, maybe your slender ankles,long  legs, great nails, long thick hair, beautiful eyes, luscious full lips, etc. and then choose to appreciate it that part every day.

Do this exercise for seven days, then choose a new feature to appreciate. After a while, you will start to find this so much easier as you build self esteem and confidence.

3. Build a rich, full life for yourself.
Women who enjoy their lives are naturally more attractive and confident. when you enjoy your life and follow your passions, you feel more fulfilled and self-supportive. You know how to be with yourself and don’t need a man to complete your life, even if you’d like one.

Divorce can often impact your friendships and  create empty spots that weren’t there before. Sometimes instead of looking for new girlfriends, women look for a man to fill all their social needs. This is a recipe for disaster because no man can be everything to you. Remember who you are and what you like to do. And if you don’t know, try a bunch of new activities.That’s a sure way to discover what makes you happy.

Once you decide to work with me, I’d recommend trying any of these three confidence builders or all of them. After a short time, you will definitely start feeling like your old self again which is crucial for dating success. Because if you don’t know who you are, what is good about you, or value yourself, unfortunately, no one else will either.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

Leave a Comment