Tonight I’m teaching a local workshop called “Energize Your Social Life”. I did a good amount of research to see what others have to say on this topic and what is available in the area. My first stop was to www.meetup.com. I put in my zip code and discovered 10 PAGES of local groups! Interests and activities include dancing, business, museum goers, girlfriends, book lovers, exercise, spirituality, and so much more.
This is an amazing opportunity! Even thought it can be difficult to create a social life after divorce, or when you are dating over 40, now there are no more excuses. With meetup.com there are plenty of events and places where you can go to meet new people and build your social life. You can meet other women, find a dating buddy and then attend some of the singles events together!
But, as I share with my dating coaching clients, building a better social life is so much more than where to go. Tonight I’ll be talking about a variety of topics like improving self-confidence, first impressions, charisma, conversation and how to be a more interesting person overall.
You size people up within minutes of meeting them, and usually a first impression is even faster. This is true for your social life, dating life and work life. What is this assessment based on? Style, posture, grooming, and body language! Let’s talk about each one separately.And don’t forget, other people are sizing you up too at the same time.
Style– do you have a style? Yes! Regardless of your intention, you have a style. You may not think you do or even care. But if that’s your point of view, that becomes your style and that’s what people see. There’s no getting around style whether you put thought and effort into your appearance or not. The solution? Make a conscious effort, even if it’s minimal! You might as well, since your style shows up any way and isn’t something you can possibly avoid.
Posture – Stand and sit up straight. Hold your head up. Don’t look at the ground when you walk. Your posture and how you carry yourself is a big part of body language. Send a message you feel good about yourself and hold your head up high.
Grooming– People who care about themselves, take good care of themselves. Grooming is the evidence. From your hair and make up, to your nails and skin, women who value themselves take care of themselves. This isn’t about being girly or fussing. Instead, good grooming is just making sure everything is in place and you look the best you can.
There’s no need to go over board – you decide how far you want to take it. However, when you don’t take this step, something as simple as combing your hair before running to the store, you are bound to see someone when you aren’t looking your best. Doesn’t it always happen that way? And that makes you want to hide!
Body Language– How you move and hold yourself is a reflection of how you feel about yourself inside. while people can fool lie detectors, it’s been said that body language experts cannot be fooled. What does that mean? It points to the importance of self-esteem and feeling good about yourself. I always say that 80% of your beauty is based on how you feel about yourself. Your confidence shows through and makes you so much more attractive.
Tips for friendly, confident body language:
– Posture – as said above stand up straight!
– Don’t cross your arms – makes you look cut off from others
– Don’t look down, keep chin parallel with the floor
– Make eye contact and smile to look friendly
Watch for more on building a better social life tomorrow