My dating advice for women today is about baggage. If you are divorced or suffered the breakup of a long-term relationship, you are bound to have some.
Baggage can be many things:
1) Children from a previous marriage
2) Emotional scars from a bitter divorce
3) Trust issues resulting from a cheating partner
4) Disappointment and scars from previous dating experiences
5) Money/credit issues from previous marriage
6) Child support or alimony payments
Relationship luggage can also include:
7) Parental issues
8) Low self-esteem and image issues
9) Work and career issues
10) Health problems
11) A poor outlook on life
12) Negativity about love, dating, men, and your chances to find love again
Whew – that’s a whole lot of baggage! Like something you see at the airport on the conveyer belt. The truth is everyone has problems whether or not you have suffered from love. From a Zen perspective, everyone has 88 problems, and when you are lucky enough to get rid of one, another appears. So what can be done to minimize the stuff you carry around?
We are made from the totality of our experiences – this is true. But how we LOOK at these experiences is what matters. That’s why a poor outlook on life and negativity about love, dating, men, and your chances to find love again are the biggest bags of all. More like steamer trunks.
For example, let’s say you have a horrible divorce. Nobody should have to live through., but you did. So how can you LIVE AND LEARN? What did you discover that you will never want to put up with again? What signs would you pay attention to next time? Learning experiences can change you in a positive way, not just add to your negativity if you recognize them and take action to avoid these sitautions again.
If you’re negative about love or life – that IS baggage. Don’t kid yourself into thinking this is not one of the 88 problems. And it’s the kind of baggage that screams like a neon sign across your forehead. I’ve been there so I know.
The best thing you can do is embark on a mission to reframe these experiences so you can acknowledge whatever positive things might have come from them. There are several productive and healthy methods to do this such as:
- Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
- Traditional therapy
- Energy balancing and healing
- Listening to Esther Hicks’ Abraham material
- Watching the SECRET video or reading the book
- Positive self-talk
- Divorce support groups
- Life Coaching
That’s just a few of the empowering methods available. Sometimes you might try a blend of multiple options.
The most important point is this – you will survive. You will move on. And you CAN FIND LOVE again. In fact, many people discover they can actually thrive after they are through the breakup or divorce. Your life can actually look up and improve.
When you take time and invest in your own healing, you can emerge stronger, wiser and more empowered. And that means you have the opportunity to attract an even better, healthier love. I’ve seen it happen many times where people find love again with great success.
I’m here when you are ready to learn about how dating works in midlife and get the help you need so you don’t have to struggle or get frustrated and confused. Call me at 203-877-3777 to talk about my dating advice for women and how dating coaching can help you.